“So you decided that you like the more lenient view, and are then (after the fact) trying to find a mekor to support the leniency you want. “
What TBO seems to forget is that the lenient view is just as valid as the stricter one. Eilu V’eilu divrei Elokim Chayim. To say to someone, “So you DECIDE that you like the more lenient view…” sounds like you are giving the person mussar for that, when in fact, there is nothing whatsoever halachically wrong with a permitted leniency. It is a leniency for a reason. The danger lies in presuming lenient view = less frum. This is one of the biggest problems we face in the chareidi world, this view that unless one holds to the chumrah, one is not as frum. There are basic halachas we must follow, and if we are following them as Hashem gave them, then we are being mekayeim the Torah. If I DECIDE to pick a more strict view, that is my choice, but it does not make me a better Jew. It may be that I pick the stricter view because I know in my heart I would be nichshal otherwise, because of a failing in myself. Again, that does not make me a better Jew, but rather a mayvin on myself. For those who manage to follow the halacha l’maiseh, even without the chumras, they are doing ratzon Hashem, just as the macmirim are.