Poshut Yid:
Either you misunderstood me or i misunderstand you.
In my earlier post, all I was doing was differentiating between tochacha and kanaus. I said that I doubt anyone on this blog is giving tochacha, but rather i said it came from a sense of kanaus-IF ANYTHING.
Secondly, moving on to kanaus, By quoting R’ Wachsman, and showing how Pinchas saved the nation with his kanaus, the point was that kanaus might just be the thing we need to save us today. my last line was the key: “But maybe we can learn what kanaus really means (and may i add, WHEN AND HOW TO BE A KANAI) being zealous for hashem and his torah and not for personal reasons. I only took issue with your general statement of “let’s ban kanaus” when kanaus is a very important concept in yiddishkeit.
But you’ve gone completely off on a tangent with your proof. I agree with you that gentle words are better “divrei chachamim benachas nishmaim). That is quite obvious to anyone and needs no proof. Your example is quite far-fetched, excuse me for saying so. Who exactly in their right mind goes over to a frei person and starts yelling at them to keep shabbos??? Did you ever have such an experience, or can you even conceive of such a scenario? Most people who are into kiruv teach shabbos in a very non-pressuring, loving way. So lets get real about this.
Lastly, I agree that any frei person has a right to ask for proof, and in fact I think any person, even an ffb may and should ask questions in order to understand. (The main thing is that the questions should come from a place of temimus and sincerity not from rebelliousness). You should realize one reason why there is so much angry give and take on this blog can be because the “kanaim” feel that some people are asking questions or making comments just to mock or belittle, and not because they sincerely wish to learn.(like rabbiof berlin says). Or because they deliberately warp daas Torah. I am sure that if any of the “kanaaim” thought that a question came from a sincere desire to know, they would answer respectfully without antagonism.
But getting back to the issue at hand, I do think thak that people on this blog should try to temper their words a bit and try not to put people down. On the other side of the coin, other people need to ask themselves if the questions they ask or the comments they make are made in ernestness, and not because they want to bait people, or put down what they hold to be holy and true. And if the answer is “NO” –what are you gaining??