sjsinnyc
It can’t be that their Rav said your sister can’t be invited at all even if she agreed not to carry, that makes no sense! Either I’m misunderstanding you or you misunderstood them.
As far as your statement “I do have a problem when people make it seem like my psak is totally wrong & halachically unacceptable.” Perhaps I can give you an analogy which will help you understand.
Imagine I say that I think Bloomberg is a better mayor than Guiliani & you disagree. We can then have a pleasent argument & I’d hear your reasons & you’d hear mine & we would not be able to agree.
Now imagine I say Dinkins was a better mayor than Guiliani or Bloomberg – you wouldn’t even argue with me! We wouldn’t be having a DISAGREEMENT, you would simply say that I am making a MISTAKE.
Same thing here, these Rabbanim hold that it’s chillul shabbos mammash, they don’t even agree that there is a legitimate tzad to be maikel.
Pashuteh
I don’t know what to tell you about R Moshe but this is the way I understand the situation.