Tzippi, that was a very good point that i didnt think of. the main reason I think Joseph is having a problem with this is because he’s a man, and I wonder if Joseph’s cluelessness about the innate nature of women is limited to a few like him or is he an example of the general male population.
Joseph: I don’t mean any of this negatively, c”v, becuase I believe you mean well. But i asked if you were married, because usually this is an issue that a married person understands better than a single man. In adition it is clear to me that as much as a woman innately wants to look pleasing, she also innately posseses the quality of tznius
And about your last point I vehemently disagree with your line that tznius is contovertial like kollel is. Kollel is optional, tznius is not. Tznius is not controvertial. It is only certain “gray areas” that need to be carefully maintained depending where you live. The ikarim must be there always. Each woman must consider her tznius as her spiritual mitzva and be on the lookout constantly to make sure that she is fulfilling it in its entirety.
Just for the record, I have never lashed out at someones tznius, and I am a big proponent of tznius. (I dont think anything I have written should give you cause to think otherwise) My whole point to you is, assuming we are on the same side of wanting to increase the tznius level in our communities, i disagree with your general approach of giving tochacha (as i have dileneated above).