Semper_Fidelus – I don’t need to expound upon whether this is also a male’s issue as well. The last two post are sufficient enough. However, I have a thought to add here that really frustrates me concerning this issue. I hear all the time how women “need to be more tznius” and “what lengths, styles, and tightness are acceptable”, however I never hear people speaking to women about the underlining issue, D’vekus L’Hashem.
Most frum women know the basic Halachic guidelines in regards to dress code and conduct, so why do some choose not to follow it? To me the answer is simple. The main ingredient is left out, “WHY?! Why be tznius?”! If we would constantly drill ourselves (both men and women) that the main purpose of the Torah (Taryag mitzvos) is to be M’dabek to Hashem Yisborach and as Mesilus Yisharim writes that D’vekus HaShem is the “greatest pleasure of all pleasures”, then we would approach things differently. If we would realize that the mitzvos that men are required reflect an aspect of Hashem Yisborach(B’tzelum Elokim Nevrah HaAdam) and the same with women’s mitzvos (that their mitzvos also are reflections of Hashem), then they would realize that when they are tznius they are reflecting an aspect of Hashem. What a great thing!
If women would be taught to walk down the street with this type of Machshava instead of just “I have to be tznius”, then it seems obvious to me that women would certainly STRIVE to be as modest as they can. After all, they are modeling after the Rabono Shel Olam!
It saddens me the approach we are taking nowadays by ramming it down people’s throats with sharp statement of what is an isn’t tznius to wear. We may even be encouraging rebellion this way! On top of that, we are also encouraging people not to be understanding of other people’s weaknesses as well (as if we don’t have our own areas of weaknesses in Avodas Hashem)! We can not and will not bring people closer to Hashem unless we learn to look deeper into their issues and find the REAL root of their problem.
As one Rav said to some students when they complained about another student’s not wearing a kippa while playing basketball, “I could call him over and ask him to put on a kippa and he’ll do it, but what’ll be tomorrow when I’m not around?! Better, I should slowly be mashbia on him to draw closer to Hashem and Mimeila he’ll start to understand on his own to wear a kippa EVEN when playing basketball.”
May we see better times,
Softwords