In my humble opinion, the answer is no.
Why are we trying to put a bandaid on the problem, instead of SOLVING the problem? I see the problem as twofold:
1) People who cannot afford expensive weddings but spend the money anyway
2) People who can afford the expensive weddings, but do so in a gluttonous manner
I think #2 is more rare (how many of us can afford weddings of that ilk?) so I will address #1.
If you cannot afford the expensive wedding DO NOT SPEND MONEY YOU DO NOT HAVE. This is a very american concept of “keeping up with the Jones.” I dont understand why we cannot educate our people to be able to live within their means. Its one thing to use money for the sake of a mitzvah, but its another to use that as an excuse to spend outrageous amounts of money.
I’ve heard people say things like “But how can I disappoint my child?” or “How can I give my child less than what everyone else has?” This makes no sense to me – you are sending your child off to get married, and start a home of their own with their own responsibilities but you cannot explain to them that you cannot afford a lavish affair? Kids need to understand that money doesnt grow on trees and that you need to live within your means.
Also, lets examine (arbitrary) takanos. So lets say 400 people max for the seudah – for some people, thats plenty and for others, its nothing! Case in point – my friend’s parents are each one of 10 and each of their 10 siblings averages 10 kids. Thats 100 first cousins on each side, plus 40 for the aunts and uncles (and then 2 parents from each side). And many of her first cousins have kids – so lets add another 30 for those. Now you are at 270 for her side, without a single friend or non-immediate family member. If she marries someone in a similiar situation, thats Thats 548 people without a single friend.
Now, take someone whos parents have 2 siblings each and each of them have 3 kids. Thats 12 first cousins plus 8 aunts and uncles and 4 grandparents. Thats 24 people per side. They have plenty left over for inviting other family and friends.
So does 400 people make sense?
Why do we expect people to be able to keep shabbos by themselves or keep kosher, but “we” have to step in and curb their spending if they cannot afford it? I think if people stopped spending so much money on weddings, others (who also cannot afford it, or barely can) would stop also. The “Jones” would turn into 1-2 families rather than the entire community.
Also, there are ways to pare down your spending without compromising the quality of the wedding. At my wedding, we didnt have floral centerpieces because we were working on a limited budget and that was an easy way to save a few thousand dollars. No one missed them at all. In fact, when my friend got married, she asked for my florist because she loved the flowers at my wedding. We got beautiful flowers for me (the bride), all my bridesmaids, and the chupah. We cut out where it wasnt neccesary.
OK this has become a megillah!!