ok, ok all you guys. I was merely trying to explain to nameless what some people find wrong with it. There is no reason to take sides because each family will do as is their minhag. Each minhag has its source, including mitzva tanz. It’s not our place to decide which minhag is better.
Joseph, aderaba! The same people who have a problem with holding hands after chuppah have a problem with mitzva tanz for same reason. The fact that Chaim Berlin holds hands doesn’t take away from the fact that many other litvish yeshivas dont . (Also, I may add that Chaim Berlin has been called by some a “chassidish-litvish” yeshiva. hope i dont get into trouble for that. i just mean that they have other similarities to chassidish minhagim too, from what I hear.)
Rabbi of Berlin, it is true that in most places it is done properly and shalom al yisroel. You ask what is wrong? that was the original question, and this was the answer: Chiba berabim, by holding hands in public is assur. if you (and many others)say that in the case of mitzva tanz it is permitted, fine. Just not everyone agrees. And that is the RATIONAL behind it. Also, YOU feel the kedusha. Not everybody else does, nor do many really undertand what holy things are really supposed to happen.. And the reason they hold hands coming off the chupa is so there should be no hefsek between the chupa and yichud room, not to familiarize themselves with each other. They can do that in the yichud room.
By the way, nameless, it is interesting that even those that hold it is fine to hold hands after the chupa (for reason above) and at mitzva tanz, some hold that there is no excuse to hold hands coming in to the dancing.
Another point I may add is that I believe that many chassanim and kallos are young and they don’t really even know what their supposed to do. They do whatever they saw at their friends wedding. I once saw wedding pictures of a (litvish-sort of) couple hoding hands after chupa. I expressed mild surprised and they said that they simply had no idea what to they were supposed to do, and afterwards they got many questions about it.
Nameless and bowzer: you say that in many litvish places thay hold hands after chuppa. Well that all depends how you define litvish. I dont want to get too narrow over here (I think someone else started a blog on this very question), but in my experience, these terms, litvish, chassidish, heimish, modern etc. means something else to each person.it is all relative. So while you, nameless, will say you saw plenty “litvish” people holding hands after chupa, others will say they are not litvish at all. So many people i know grew up “heimish”, went to “litvish” yeshivos, and moved to lakewood. To their families they are “kalte litvaks”. To their neighbors they are “chassidish.” i’m sure you can all relate to this concept.
So what were arguing here is not what do litvish vs. chassidish people do, nor was the intention to pass judgement on what is right or wrong, but rather the question is WHY do those who hold it is wrong to have a mitzva tanz- hold the way they do. And that is the question I attempted to answer.