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Is is more important for a woman to have a trusted rabbi or rebbetzin to go to for shailot?
Does it make a difference…
For BT women?
Single women?
Women with children?
Etc…
Thank you 🙂
Halacha sheilas should generally go to a Rav. There are almost no women who are qualifed to answer halacha sheilas, since there are very few women in the world who have even studied halacha from the sources. And it is doubtful if any of the Rebbetzins you know have.
For personal issues, it’s generally better to speak to a Rebbetzin.
For hashkafa – either one. If it’s a question that’s more personal and requires someone with intution and sensitivity, a Rebbetzin might be better. If it’s a question that’s more intellectual and non-personal, a Rav might be better. But both of those last statements are generalizations, and it would depend on the Rav and Rebbetzin in question.
A rebbitzen should at least know enough to know whether a rav should be asked, so for tznius a woman should talk to a rebbitzen first.
Most important: Get the views of the CR. We are going to be the ones who are going to decide if you should go to a Rov or Rebbitzen. So OUR opinion should sought first.
LF -lol, literally.
Most people who seek a Rav or Rebbitzen arent going to Halacha but more counseling or advice. So the answer is for you, who is better at the job and that is more of an individual answer , Some Rabbis are better at the job and some Rebbitizens are better at the job. I cannot answer the question for you and nobody else can either as it depends who you are meeting
LuL:
You should know better. It is entirely untznius for a girl, woman or anything in between to lol. Read Rabbi Falk’s sefer. If you must, loq.
Loq, LF
Lilmod Ulelamaid: “For hashkafa – either one. If it’s a question that’s more personal and requires someone with intution and sensitivity, a Rebbetzin might be better.”
Do you think that a rebbetzin is any better suited than your neighbor? Until she married this rav, I imagine that was particularly more suited to offer advice than any other of your friends or otherwise. Do you think it’s that her experience over the years has made her better suited to offer advice? Maybe she’s been giving bad advice for many years, but just feels and sounds more confident about doing so with time?
If a woman is uncomfortable speaking with a rav she can approach the ravs rebbetzin and ask her to please ask her husband the rav on her behalf and get back to her
You can ask someone on the CR to ask a Rebbitzen to ask her husband.
You can ask on the CR, and a Rav will see it and answer in class…
LF – what if I was the only one in the house at the time? Or is this in the same category as being dressed tzniusly which you have to do even if you’re by yourself since Hashem is always there?
What if I LOLQed? Would that be okay? I really don’t think I laugh that loud. And your joke post really wasn’t THAT funny – just funny enough for a LOLQ.
“A rebbitzen should at least know enough to know whether a rav should be asked, so for tznius a woman should talk to a rebbitzen first.”
I am not sure that I agree with this statement. There is nothing wrong with a girl asking a sheilah to a Rav, and you can never assume that if you ask a Rebbetzin and she is not qualified to answer, she will tell you so.
I have had some bad experiences when I was forced to ask a Rebbetzin as a go-between to her husband (since she was screening his calls), and she thought that she was qualified to answer even though she wasn’t.
As one of my Rabbeim told his daughter who thought that she was qualified to answer sheilahs on the basis of being his daughter: “Would you ask a medical question to the doctor’s wife or daughter?”
Even if the term “Rebbetzin” is being used here to refer to a woman who is learned and wise (as opposed to meaning “the wife of a Rabbi”), I would still try to avoid asking questions to someone who is not qualified to answer.
Most people (even very wise ones) do try to answer questions posed to them even if they are not qualified to do so. This is either because it is human nature to want to help and/or to find it hard to admit that you can’t, or because they are assuming that if you are asking them, you have no one better to ask.
So it is YOUR responsibility to try (to the best of your ability) to figure out who the best person is to ask this particular question to before you ask. And there may be a certain amount of trial and error involved.
LF: “You can ask someone on the CR to ask a Rebbitzen to ask her husband.
You can ask on the CR, and a Rav will see it and answer in class…”
LIQ (not quite funny enough for a LOLQ, sorry).
There is a difference between the wife of a rabbi who has the title rebbitzen and a real rebbitzen. Kind of like the difference between a queen consort and a queen regnant.
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