Shul shopping

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  • January 22, 2017 7:58 pm at 7:58 pm #619069
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    Any tips?

    Questions to ask the rabbi? Congregants?

    Things/details to pay attention to?

    Thank you!

    January 22, 2017 10:02 pm at 10:02 pm #1210617
    Lilmod Ulelamaid
    Participant

    decent mechitza, nice warm friendly Congregants, approachable and authentic Rav and/or Rebbetzin, seriously Frum but also open-minded.

    Those are the things that come to mind off-hand.

    January 22, 2017 10:15 pm at 10:15 pm #1210618
    Ex-CTLawyer
    Participant

    Shul shopping is quite different for singles, married with young kids,retired……….

    It’s about:

    What nusach/tradition they daven

    What is the seating like

    What classes are offered? To whom, by whom, when

    Do they have a social hall, classrooms, mikveh

    Do they have a cemetery

    How much are dues?

    What does that include? Tickets, plots, yahrzeit notices (or do they nickel and dime you to death? I prefer paying one fee that covers everything for the year.

    Are there active auxiliary organizations? Youth group, mens club, sisterhood, Chevra kedisha, bikur cholim society

    You have to attend a number of services, functions, and meet rabbi, members before you can say yes.

    Saying no may occur after a few minutes. The first time Mrs. CTL attended services in the shul closest to our first home, she left after 10 minutes. When I arrived home for lunch she told me that she was unable to hear a single word from the bima while seated in the balcony.

    We tried 5 or 6 other shuls before finding one that made us both comfortable and met our needs.

    January 22, 2017 10:16 pm at 10:16 pm #1210619
    Joseph
    Participant

    Making sure the rabbi applies halacha even when applying the halacha won’t make him popular.

    January 22, 2017 10:52 pm at 10:52 pm #1210620
    iacisrmma
    Participant

    CTLAWYER gave s great list which generally applies to bigger shules. Most of those are not available in the smaller shteiblach that you would find in Flatbush/Boro Park.

    January 22, 2017 10:53 pm at 10:53 pm #1210621
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    I dont know where you live, but you can try several shuls. Some neighborhoods have 10 Shuls or more

    January 23, 2017 12:19 am at 12:19 am #1210622
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    I want a shul where I can mostly make friends and learn. I want to get married. I want to grow and branch out of my comfort zone.

    Obviously I also want a shul where I can daven. I may need to divide my time between a Yom Tovim and/or Shabbat shuk and a social shul.

    January 23, 2017 1:23 am at 1:23 am #1210623
    zahavasdad
    Participant

    Some shuls are also more open to women attending than others

    You might want to consider one that is a bit more welcoming to women (Welcoming to women doesnt mean mixed seating or women getting Aliyahs, Its more if the shul has baby sitting so women can daven and if the women section is in a place where they can hear the chazan clearly)

    January 23, 2017 2:24 am at 2:24 am #1210624
    Lightbrite
    Participant

    ZD: Great point! I know what you’re talking about when it comes to shul’s that are women-friendly.

    I heard about a great shul, and it was great and the rabbonim were wonderful. However, the way that it was structured was that the women were in the back, not the side, and I felt like a lost sheep.

    Recently I went to a shul that has a big number sign that women can see from their side to keep up with the page numbers too. I haven’t davened there yet, but it has a huge women’s section that’s close enough to everything on the other side of the mechitza.

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