Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › hair
- This topic has 117 replies, 19 voices, and was last updated 8 years, 3 months ago by Sparkly.
-
AuthorPosts
-
August 30, 2016 2:45 am at 2:45 am #618267SparklyMember
is it tznius to have long hair? for example down to the waist?
August 30, 2016 4:02 am at 4:02 am #1176836absanParticipantGood question Sparkly.
I know you well enough that you know the truth.
August 30, 2016 2:03 pm at 2:03 pm #1176837SparklyMemberabsan – the truth being that it is tznius?
August 30, 2016 3:09 pm at 3:09 pm #1176838MenoParticipantSparkly,
You know the truth
August 30, 2016 3:41 pm at 3:41 pm #1176839absanParticipantsparkly if you know it ..whats the use of asking?
August 30, 2016 3:43 pm at 3:43 pm #1176840absanParticipantsparkly if you know it ..whats the use of asking? Can you explain the definition of tznius?
August 30, 2016 3:54 pm at 3:54 pm #1176841SparklyMemberMeno – okay…. so your basically saying that it is tznius to have long hair???
August 30, 2016 4:04 pm at 4:04 pm #1176842The FrumguyParticipantIt would probably be a chatzitzah for my tefillin shel rosh.
August 30, 2016 4:07 pm at 4:07 pm #1176843Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSparkly – when I worked in a boys’ school, I was asked by the (female) principal to wear my hair back. I think the Rebbeim had an issue with it, and my hair is nowhere near my waist.
August 30, 2016 4:48 pm at 4:48 pm #1176844MenoParticipantSparkly,
“so your basically saying that it is tznius to have long hair???”
I don’t know, is it?
You know the truth
August 30, 2016 5:06 pm at 5:06 pm #1176845absanParticipantSparkly instead of repeating yourself EXPLAIN what is tznuis and why we need to be tznuis. We all know you know it .We know you are smart.
August 30, 2016 5:17 pm at 5:17 pm #1176846☕️coffee addictParticipantWhat I want to know is what prompted this question
August 30, 2016 5:37 pm at 5:37 pm #1176847WinnieThePoohParticipantIs this a hypothetical question (like the one about how to become more religious), or do you really want to know? If someone tells you that it is not tznius, would that matter to you?
August 30, 2016 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #1176848Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantWinniethepooh, the “how to become more religious” question did not start off as hypothetical, so I’m not sure that it’s fair for people to keep referring to it.
Just my opinion.
August 30, 2016 6:02 pm at 6:02 pm #1176849WinnieThePoohParticipantLU, I think people are just trying to figure out if this is a question they should answer.
August 30, 2016 6:09 pm at 6:09 pm #1176850MammeleParticipantIn fairness to Sparkly, she only asked about “having” long hair, not about whether it’s okay to wear it loose. Although she seems to be insinuating that, especially in her seeming quest for a heter. In any case, her MO Rabbi probably allows it and she’s just trolling…
Or struggling perhaps, but the winner is unfortunately predetermined.
August 30, 2016 6:16 pm at 6:16 pm #1176851Mashiach AgentMemberdepends who you are arround, which community you are surrounded in. In certain places long hair is considered trendy while other places it is considered completely untznius & unacceptable
August 30, 2016 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #1176852Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMammele – I don’t think anyone considers it a problem to have long hair if it’s tied back, so I’m sure that is not what she meant.
I also don’t think it’s fair for anyone to insinuate that she is trolling. From all her previous posts, I have every reason to believe she is sincere in her question. Being sincere does not necessarily equal being ready and able to put everything into practice at once.
When someone asks such a question, she should be encouraged, not discouraged. Knowing Sparkly, she will take your advice seriously, as long as it’s sincere and given in a positive fashion.
August 30, 2016 6:48 pm at 6:48 pm #1176853SparklyMemberaccording to my rabbi especially as someone with REALLY long hair past my waist since i havent cut my hair for almost 7 years and only get trims it is okay to have LONG hair!! but i wanted to know others opinion on this.
August 30, 2016 7:43 pm at 7:43 pm #1176854☕️coffee addictParticipantSparkly,
What prompted the question
August 30, 2016 7:55 pm at 7:55 pm #1176855SparklyMembercoffee addict – just was curious what yeshivish people think about long hair.
August 30, 2016 8:13 pm at 8:13 pm #1176856MenoParticipantIs everyone in the coffee room yeshivish? I mean, even MO people drink coffee sometimes
August 30, 2016 8:50 pm at 8:50 pm #1176857absanParticipantSparkly I hear you now. Sorry if I came across strong. Wow for seven years didn’t cut most be realy long. I beleive this is a question none for us to answer this is a question to ask your rabbi. If you only want to know what we think ,I personal beleive if it’s that long loose it’s not tznus. Tznus besides it’s set rules we must use common sense.
August 30, 2016 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #1176858Shopping613 🌠ParticipantDon’t many chassidish people have long hair? It’s fine as long as it’s tied back and doesn’t stand out.
August 30, 2016 9:05 pm at 9:05 pm #1176859Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantMeno: “Is everyone in the coffee room yeshivish? I mean, even MO people drink coffee sometimes”
Personally, I’m curious to know what the non-Yeshivish people in the CR think about long hair.
August 30, 2016 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #1176860SparklyMemberMeno – haha.
August 30, 2016 10:10 pm at 10:10 pm #1176861Neville ChaimBerlinParticipantSparkly is a female? It’s a problem with tefillin and possibly other issues for a guy to have long hair. But, if we’re talking about an unmarried female, why would it matter? Am I missing something from another thread?
August 30, 2016 10:11 pm at 10:11 pm #1176862SparklyMemberabsan – thats what my mother said that TOO LONG hair is NOT tznius like my length. it is common sense dont you see people walking around with hair that is past their waist that they look like they havent cut for years just like mine?
August 30, 2016 10:12 pm at 10:12 pm #1176863SparklyMemberShopping613 – i usually keep my hair in a pony because otherwise its just annoying to have…
August 30, 2016 10:51 pm at 10:51 pm #1176864HappygirlygirlMemberBeing that I went to a chassidish school we learned the hidur and the halachos…..really really hair should not be longer than shoulder down in a pony rabbi Falk says it should be six inch pony…….Litvish people go by a rav I forgot who that’s says not more than four(or two I forgot) inches past shoulder…. (I’m say on halachos not davka do I do it….I’m saying what I learned )….however they all agreed upon one factor if the hair is neat and eidel and refined the inches should not realky matter…so till the waste I can’t imagine how it can look eidel. ..if ur hair is long and u wear it neat with like a headband or clip the halachos might be different. Tznius should be a sensitivity it’s not about whay the halachos say it’s what u should feel uncomfortable being immodest
August 30, 2016 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #1176865Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSparkly:- i usually keep my hair in a pony because otherwise its just annoying to have…
Is that what you were asking about – long hair in a pony? I hadn’t thought anyone would think that’s a problem. Then again, when I think of long hair, I’m not thinking of waist-length. I guess I could see where even it’s in a pony, it might not be considered tznius if it’s that long. But I’d have to see it – it’s hard for me to visualize.
August 30, 2016 11:19 pm at 11:19 pm #1176866Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl – there are no halachos about hair length. You won’t find anything in the Shulchan Aruch or Mishna Berurah about it.
That being said, there are two aspects to tznius:
1. The technical halachos of which there are very few, such as covering your knees.
2. Using your common sense to realize that something is not tznius. Most things fall in this category, and something can be assur mitsad tznius even if you won’t find a specific halacha saying that it is assur.
There is also a third aspect, which is the fact that we are supposed to follow our Gedolim, so if they say something, we have to do it. As far as I know, Rav Falk is not considered one of the Gedolei hador, so his sefer should not be quoted as though it’s halacha. If someone wants to follow it, that is beautiful, as long as they realize it is not halacha.
In terms of the Gedolei Hador, I have not seen or heard them quoted as saying anything about hair length (which doesn’t mean they haven’t said anything). I may have heard some things about sheitel lengths, but I’m not sure of the specifics. I think they are more meikel for people living in the US than people in Eretz Yisrael. I think I heard something about 2 inches below the shoulder in EY, and 4 inches below in chutz L’aretz, but I am not sure, and in case, it might have only been a psak for specific people. But that was sheitels, not hair.
There is also a fourth aspect – minhag hamakom.
IF long hair is a problem it is because of 2 and possibly 4. If the Gedolim have said anything about it (which I don’t think they have) then it may be a problem in terms of #3 as well. It is almost definitely not a problem in terms of #1, unless someone here knows something I don’t know and would like to share it.
August 30, 2016 11:52 pm at 11:52 pm #1176867HappygirlygirlMemberLU it also doesn’t say in the Torah about four inch below knee skirts but our gedolim of today made it HALCHA!! Yes they did because they realized it’s the only way you will be able to follow the guidelines….and rabbi falks sefer is not just him but he got haskama and he asked by the gedolim of the generation chassidish and litvish included.
August 31, 2016 12:05 am at 12:05 am #1176868absanParticipantSparkly Your mother is probably right . Truthfully I haven’t seen a jewish yeshivish girl with that long hair till the waist. It looks more like outstanding and here we use common sense if it’s outstsanding then no it’s a step away from tznus
August 31, 2016 12:31 am at 12:31 am #1176869Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl – the halacha is that your knees have to be covered at all times. From what I understand, the Gedolim pointed out that this is impossible unless your skirt is at least 4 inches below your knees. Depending on the skirt, it might have to be a lot more actually, but it is impossible to find ANY skirt that is less than 4 inches that will cover your knees.
Basically, they are just letting us know that according to the Shulchan Aruch, your skirt must be at least 4 inches below your knees.
Personally, I have never taken a ruler and measured a skirt in my life, and I think that people who are into the 4 inches end up inadvertently being over on one of the only clear-cut halachos of tznius (that your knees have to be covered at all times), since most skirts must be more than 4 inches in order for your knees to be covered at all times.
When I try on a skirt, I stand in front of the mirror. I then pull over a chair and sit in front of the mirror. I then cross my legs in front of the mirror. When possible, I will also go to the car and have a friend check if my knees show when I’m getting into the car.
August 31, 2016 12:32 am at 12:32 am #1176870Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl – the fact that Rav Falk’s sefer has haskamos does not mean that the Gedolim say that every word in it is halacha.
August 31, 2016 12:34 am at 12:34 am #1176871Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl – again, it’s beautiful if you want to follow Rav Falk’s sefer, but it’s important to know the difference between clear-cut halachos and things that are hiddurim or not-so-clear-cut- halachos.
August 31, 2016 12:51 am at 12:51 am #1176872SparklyMemberabsan – i do NOT want to chop off my hair. no thanks. i worked so hard to grow it out. the last time i got a haircut was when i donated it and it was up to my shoulders. i could probably donate now twice and still have shoulder length hair. long hair is gorgeous. i use to want to cut my hair “short” as in like 2 inches past my shoulders but never got around to it. maybe i will when i get married and cover my hair h’h since i dont know how i plan on sticking all my hair under a sheitel when its so LONG!!
August 31, 2016 12:54 am at 12:54 am #1176873SparklyMemberHappygirlygirl – my WHOLE life my hair has been ridiculously LONG i cant imagine chopping it all off. my hair is longer than most if not all people including goyim that i meet.
August 31, 2016 12:59 am at 12:59 am #1176874absanParticipantOf course it’s the halachos that guide us but then it’s the inner feeling of how much more do you want to give for Hashem .Like a sacrifice like( just an example) I will cut my hair this much more just to look more tznus for you Hashem . Something like giving a gift for hashem ,in return the rewards come back to you.
August 31, 2016 1:47 am at 1:47 am #1176875SparklyMemberabsan – i really am scared of cutting my hair in case i dont like it. i grew it out for years. so you cant just be like it will grow right back. you mean in another 7 years???
August 31, 2016 2:01 am at 2:01 am #1176876absanParticipantI didn’t specific mean your hair .I understand you grew it cause you like it. I just meant like going out of your way for love towards Hashem.
August 31, 2016 2:03 am at 2:03 am #1176877SparklyMemberabsan – i do. i daven, i go to SHIURIM that i actually LOVE!!!!!
August 31, 2016 2:03 am at 2:03 am #1176878HappygirlygirlMemberSparkly -I just got mad…..you say “my hair was short like two inches past my shoulder” ya know there are people who have cancer and they have no hair at all.just stop acting like a teenager for once. (I myself was bald for that reason mnay years ago…so I’m saying as a survivor don’t give urself a reason for people to be jealous)
LU I simply can’t understand how u taught seminaries if you’re living in 2016 and denying that the HALCHA as of today IS four inches wether u like it or not
August 31, 2016 2:19 am at 2:19 am #1176880☢️ Rand0m3x 🎲ParticipantI’m surprised no one’s brought up whether long hair
draws attention to its owner, and if this should be
a factor in whether it is considered tzanua or not.
August 31, 2016 2:28 am at 2:28 am #1176881Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl- I guess that is why I teach Halacha and not you.
August 31, 2016 2:34 am at 2:34 am #1176882SparklyMemberlilmod ulelamaid – so lucky wish i could teach that. i LOVE halacha MUCH more than science even tho i LOVE biology and hate chemistry.
August 31, 2016 2:36 am at 2:36 am #1176883SparklyMemberHappygirlygirl – sorry to hear that. how would i know that someone i NEVER met had cancer before?!?! im not being selfish if i donated my hair to chai lifeline which i did. also im becoming a pharmacist to do research to come up with medicines for people who have cancer and stuff like that. also i have a sibling that has not cancer chasvichallila but something as bad not saying because otherwise people might be able to figure out who i am and thats the MAIN reason why im becoming a pharmacist to find a cure for that sibling and that made me want to become a pharmacist. but i DONT like saying the reason why im becoming a pharmacist but thats the reason why.
August 31, 2016 2:48 am at 2:48 am #1176885Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantSparkly – Boruch Hashem, I am very lucky!
August 31, 2016 2:50 am at 2:50 am #1176886Lilmod UlelamaidParticipantHappygirlygirl – that being said, you should definitely follow what your Rabbanim tell you to do.
-
AuthorPosts
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.