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I’m super duper excited!! Every day, ive made sure to say my tehillim for my partner, and i received an email that bh shes engaged! its amazing bc i rly feel a connection with her, even though i have zilch clue who she is.
Just putting it out there that people should sign up bc its an amazing organization!!
Will you go to the wedding?
when a person davens for someone else (be it for a Shidduch or a baby or refuah etc…) you always get answered first. do you know someone who needs a Shidduch? then give her/him a list of other people needing shidduchim to daven for. it always works & the davener is always answered first
Mazel Tov & may you become a Kalla very soon also. Every person has their time & place…
“when a person davens for someone else (be it for a Shidduch or a baby or refuah etc…) you always get answered first.”
“Mazel Tov & may you become a Kalla very soon also”
MA this seems contradictory please explain.
Not “always”
when a person davens for someone else (be it for a Shidduch or a baby or refuah etc…) you always get answered first. do you know someone who needs a Shidduch? then give her/him a list of other people needing shidduchim to daven for. it always works & the davener is always answered first
Well, in that case I guess we can prove that oilyhair was not davening for her partner, or oilyhair would have been answered first.
But wait, how could both be answered first?
Anyway, this is all narishkeit. It obviously doesn’t work if you are davening for the other person for the specific purpose of being answered first.
May you too be answered. Better ‘oily’ then late!!!
MA: Logically, that cannot be true. Let’s say two people are Davening for each other to get engaged. Can neither therefore ever get engaged because that would mean that one is getting engaged first.
The Midrash you are referring to is a tremendous lesson in humility and selflessness that cannot be undervalued, but presenting it as it is literally said is just foolish.
it might not always work right away & always be answered first but officially that is what it says in seforim (not sure exactly where, do some research)
I don’t think “Hu ne’eneh t’chilah” is a guarantee, it’s a segulah.
A person can have two kavanos simultaneously, so the fact that she davened for the other person in order to find her own shidduch doesn’t completely negate the segulah.
A person can have two kavanos simultaneously, so the fact that she davened for the other person in order to find her own shidduch doesn’t completely negate the segulah.
I don’t know if I agree.
The segulah I understand is the fact that you davened for the other person and put their need ahead of yours. If you were doing that for your purposes, then I don’t think you’ve earned the segulah at all.
Mazel tov.
May you be zoche to celebrate many simchos in the near future.
The source is .?”? ?”?
?”? ??? ???? ?? ??? ??? ?? ????? ????? ???? ?? ????? ????? ?? ????? ???? ???? ????? ??? ??? ???? ????? ?”? ????? ??’ ?? ?? ???? ???? ??????? ??? ???? ??? ??? ?? ???? ???? ???? ????? ???? ?????? ????? ?? ?????? ????? ????? ?? ?????? ??? ???? ???????? [???’] ????? ??’ ??? ?? ??? ???? ??? ???’ ???? ??? ????? ?? ??????
http://beta.hebrewbooks.org/shas.aspx?mesechta=21&daf=92&format=pdf
Popa, I would definitely agree that that would be far more powerful, but it’s still very possible that thinking of someone else’s needs, even when your own are so pressing, is still a segulah along the same lines.
It’s even possible for someone, even if the original motivation was selfish, to put themselves in a mindset that the other’s needs are more important.
Judging from oilyhair’s excitement, she is truly happy for her partner, not only in anticipation of her own simcha, but because it became important to her on its own merit.
I join the others in wishing she finds her bashert very soon.
PBA
So the gemara was sharing a interesting piece of information that is of no practical use?
Even if it would only apply to the most selfless person ever, who truly davened for her friend to get married not thinking about herself. So when the davener gets engaged first is she disappointed since she really wanted and davened that her friend should get engaged?
Of course this is possible, but I assumed it is meant as others describe it if you want to be answered in something daven for someone else
I heard a teich in “???? ???? ????? ???”
That the person davening needs that the other person receive that thing that he desires.
In other words his Tefillah is truly heartfelt and he has a strong desire that the other be answered.
In other words again: that the other persons need is to him as his own need.
I’m not sure this is coming out clearly.
One more time.
The “need”, the ????, of the davener is that the davenee be answered.
Beautiful p’shat, feivel.
Even if you bumbled your way through it…
Popa, I would definitely agree that that would be far more powerful, but it’s still very possible that thinking of someone else’s needs, even when your own are so pressing, is still a segulah along the same lines.
Yes, but why? Isn’t it because you are being selfless and prioritizes someone else’s needs ahead of your own, so Hashem prioritizes your needs?
So then if your real goal was to prioritize your needs, and you were just told that this is the best way to do it so this is how you’re doing it–does that still work?
I mean, aren’t you basically taking the gemara’s message, which is “be selfless and care about other people” and using it to promote your own needs?
Ubiquitin: I take your question well, but your answer doesn’t work for me. Why can’t the gemara’s message just be that the way Hashem works is that He wants you to prioritize other people’s needs above your own?
Also, DY should link the old thread about this, eventually.
Why is it all or none? Sure it’s nice if someone is on such an elevated level, but why can’t we take the lesson that we should care about others’ needs, even if we’re from the 99.99…% of humanity that will never reach the level of caring more about others than we do ourselves?
There was once a thread about this? You have such a good memory for minutia!
And I’m good at searching.
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/website-daven-for-me
I agree with WIY. Quite well informed, that one is. http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/website-daven-for-me#post-155082
I agree with this part of his statement:
if you are only doing it to be answered first you cancelled out the zchus. Or so it seems
As I said, though, there can be two motivations.
I think the M”B (?”? ???? ??”? ?”? ??) indicates that altought one should not do hidur in a mitzva in order to get a segulah, it would still work unless ????? ???????.
But feel free to check it out yourself:
http://beta.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14164&st=&pgnum=79
http://beta.hebrewbooks.org/pdfpager.aspx?req=14164&st=&pgnum=80
After thinking it over, it’s not merely that one can have two motivations (which is also true), the point here is that the motivation is not the same thing as kavanah.
Even if the reason one undertakes to daven for another is selfish, they can still daven with kavanah purely for the other person.
Perhaps this is even the p’shat in not serving Hashem al m’nas l’kabel p’ras. Even if the motivation is for s’char, the kavanah at the time one does a mitzvah should be purely to do Hashem’s will.
If a girl undertakes to daven for another girl who needs a shidduch, she should completely put her own needs out of her mind, and just daven for the other.
Well thought out, subtle, but glaringly true. You found the pashtus, which is not always so simple to do.
Personally, it straightened out a previous wrinkle in my “daas Torah”
Thank you
Mazal tov!
DY, I didn’t read thru the whole thing, but this looks like it might be it (or one of them).
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/shidduch-segullah
Feivel: I don’t think that your Pshat in the word Tzarich works with the way Rashi quotes it by VaHashem Pakad Es Sarah.
Thanks, kapusta. Look at this – I’m in agreement with squeak, and the topic is shidduchim!
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/shidduch-segullah#post-46539
It’s not my pshat.
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