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I read threads such as the two that are currently running regarding things that people commonly do wrong (linked below), and I think and wonder if I’ve ever actually performed ANY positive mitzvah correctly?
When it comes to negative mitzvos, I can be reasonably confident. I’ve never given my children to Molech. I’ve never murdered anyone nor committed adultery. I’ve never planted in the Shmittah year. And so on… That’s not to say that I’m confident on ALL negative mitzvos (I wouldn’t be surprised if, as a youth, I did something out of ignorance that was a melacha on Shabbos), but on many of them, I can be pretty confident.
However, when it comes to positive mitzvos, I think back and realize that I don’t think that there a single one that I can say with 100% certainty that I’ve performed correctly.
Tefillin? Well, I got my tefillin on my bar mitzvah. Were the parshiyos written k’sidran (in order – a bona fide requirement of tefillin)? I don’t know and there is no way to know. Even if I were to go out and buy a new pair now, I *still* couldn’t say it with 100% confidence. Write my own pair? Even if I learned the halachos, how could I be 100% certain that I know *all* the halachos?
Eating matzah? I don’t bake my own matzah. Do I know, with 100% certainty, that the matzos were done in 18 minutes (as opposed to, say 18 minutes and 45 seconds)? No, I don’t and, again, without doing it myself , I have no way of knowing it. And I don’t have the skills (or time) to do so myself.
Shofar? How do I know the ba’al tokeah had me in mind. Yes, I grant you he probably did, but can I say for sure? No — and neither can you.
Shiluach Haken — not to touch that one. I know I’ve never done that one.
Krias Sh’ma — Maybe, but do I know for a fact that I can say it with complete perfection? And do I know for a fact that my siddur is absolutely 100% correct with all the finer points of dikduk and nikkud? No, I don’t.
… and on and on. The more I think about it, the more I realize that there isn’t a single positive commandment that I can say that I *know* for sure, 100%, that I’ve fulfilled it in the proper way at any point in my life.
And that’s just sad.
The Wolf
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/things-that-people-do-wrong-halachically
every person should just do their Hishtadlus (buy the pair of tefillin “but also from a reliable sofer) & then you have done your part & if there is a mistake with the pesach matzos you bought the owner of the bakery is the one chayav for you eating chometz C”V not you. his contract includes a promise that all the matzos are kosher for passover etc…
Somebody recently told me that she heard from an ehrliche Yid that if after doing a certain mitzva you doubt yourself it’s coming from the Yetzer hora, not the Yetzer Tov. You do the best you can and then move on WITH SIMCHA.
I don’t know if it’s applicable for everything and you do need to learn the halachos going forward if you think your knowledge is lacking, but simply doubting yourself with no benefit is definitely counter-productive. And the Torah was not given to angels — we try our best with the information we have as mere mortals — not by second-guessing everything up the chain over which we don’t have much control.
Wolf, would you be willing to sell your Olam Habo for a good amount of cash?
If not, you obviously know you have what to hold unto.
I feel that Hashem knows our kavana and rewards us for good intentions even if performance is not what may be expected.
Have a look at the Rambam in pirush hamishnayos on the last Mishna in Makkos. He says the reason we have 613 Mitzvos is so that over the course of our lifetime, it’s impossible that we won’t do one Mitzvah lishmah. ayin sham
Echod hamarbe, v’echod hamamit. some do more, some do less. as long as you have the correct intentions, don’t worry. you have credit. just keep on doing your mitzvos. eat matzo, observe shabbos, put on tefilin, daven, lain krias shema. eat in the succah. hear shofar. give tzedoko and do chesed. you’le be in great spiritual shape.
It cannot be that intentions are all that count, because most terrorists believe that they are doing the right thing and murder people with the best intentions.
Why do you look at your positives as a “concession”, as if you’re admitting to a crime rather than the positive it is?
RebYidd: Who said intentions are ALL that count? The point is good intentions, machshava tova, referring to mitzvos not the evil of the terrorists.
Hashem does not want neurotic servants. We cannot be expected to do more than we can. If you really want to go at it, how do you know that you are you? Maybe a switch was made in the hospital and really you are not Jewish. Maybe really an heir to a great material fortune and the victim of a conspiracy to cheat you out of your share.
Uncle Ben, who said I said they said?
WolfishMusings,
My problem is with positive commandments, where, despite my best efforts (which, admittedly, maybe aren’t enough), I can’t say that I’ve ever actually fulfilled one.
And how does this make you different from any other Jew?
If that’s the case, then I’m not required to do any of these mitzvos anyway.
It’s much more than that. If that’s the case you are prohibited, on pain of death, from keeping Shabbos. Shouldn’t you be similarly concerned?
I had the very same problem as OP, so I worked on disliking myself to the point I was sure that I loved all my friends as much as myself.
WolfishMusings,
A. Other people don’t seem to have these doubts. They’re confident that they have fulfilled the mitzvos, and perhaps they have.
That doesn’t make sense. If I have confidence that I’m the president of the United States, I might actually be the president?
And besides that, just because you don’t see people having doubts doesn’t mean they don’t have them.
B. Even if the previous point is false and I am like every other Jew, so what? Does the fact that everyone else fails at a task magically make it okay for me to do so too?
The gemara says that even the least of the Jews are as full of mitzvos as a pomegranate is full of seeds.
WolfishMusings,
I’m doomed either way.
Do you really think that Hakadosh Baruch Hu is R”L a big meanie in the sky who gave us the mitzvos just to trip us up and trap us in sin so we can be punished?
WolfishMusings,
The more I think about it, the more I realize that there isn’t a single positive commandment that I can say that I *know* for sure, 100%, that I’ve fulfilled it in the proper way at any point in my life.
And that’s just sad.
No, that’s called being human. If Hashem desired 100% accuracy 100% of the time, He would have populated the Earth with robots, or angels.
Think of each of your Mitzvos as one of your photographs. In retrospect you could have perhaps used a different lense or angle, so you learn for the next shot. And some photos are just about perfect, but being you, you just can’t admit it… And yet others are perfection in itself, so that even you can’t deny it.
The problem/difference is that your photos/Mitzvos haven’t been fully developed yet, so you stumble in the dark as to its merits. You wonder if the the film you used wasn’t expired merchandise relabeled, or perhaps exposed to extreme temperatures which damaged it. You wonder if your subject didn’t move at the wrong moment, if the lighting was adequate or too bright etc. Only Hashem has the Power to develop them and reveal its beauty. (Yeah, it’s an old school moshol but I’m sure Wolf can relate.)
But as I touched on earlier we must “serve Hashem with Simcha”. Sadness is a tool of the Yetzer Hora to depress our potential and limit our Spiritual achievements. So (say cheese), smile, and keep on doing what’s right.
I agree with Mammele that’s its your yetzer hara trying to get you to be dissatisfied with your avodas Hashem.
Wolf – I agree & disagree. When it comes to Bain Odom Lemokom people think they haven’t done enough. But when it comes to Bain Odom L’chavaro they think they have done enough, even when they haven’t!
In any event, if someone would give me a penny, they’d likely be overpaying.
A very sad statement to make. The value of your mitzvos are priceless, and worth more than billions.
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