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I believe that girls going to Israel for seminary is a waste of time. They go for a year or even two years for what is basically summer camp all year round, and they don’t gain anything from it.
Seminaries are the cause of the shidduch crisis because the girls are starting shidduchim later.
How do you define “the shidduch crisis”?
http://www.theyeshivaworld.com/coffeeroom/topic/defining-the-shidduch-crisis
They should go to local seminary, not seminary in Israel.
Or get married out of 12th grade.
Agreed it is summer camp.
I went to seminary in Israel and it was an amazing experience. I learned a tremendous amount. It was nothing like summer camp. I was in class Sunday- Thursday from 8:30 in the morning to 10 at night (12 on Thursday nights for mishmar). The learning I did in seminary built on my high school education and left me with an appreciation for Torah. It was definitely not a waste of time.
Notwithstanding the face that my daughters went to Israel for seminary, I agree it is a waste of money and time. They could go to seminary here if they are really interested in learning post-HS. But I don’t agree that this is the cause of a shidduch crisis. Most of my daughters friends with whom they went to seminary together are already married.
Luna: No doubt there are many girls with your experience, but there are many more that it is like summer camp. The curriculum is geared toward those going into chinuch. Sadly, it is peer pressure that has fueled the seminary industry, much to the dismay of parents who can ill afford it. Looking back, do you think your parents owed you that $25,000-plus experience?
1) Girls not getting shidduch suggestions
2) Girls not going out
How does pushing off shidduchim for a year cause or even exacerbate that?
“hanging out in Geula and town with boys after curfew”
“Israel is meant for mature guys that want to come to learn in yeshiva.”
So I presume you would agree that going to “learn” in E’Y is not for all guys either.
Most of my friends who stayed here for seminary did not get any shidduch suggestions during the year. It’s hard for people to take an 18-year-old girl seriously.
With regard to seminary, I don’t know where I would be without it. I feel that if utilized properly, the seminary year can be a year of tremendous emotional, spiritual, and intellectual growth. That growth could not have necessarily been achieved here, when girls are still connected to their families. Seminary is a time to step out of preconceived notions about yourself, which is hard to do when you’re living at home.
As for the partying- well, know your girls. Yes, some girls do go to E’Y to party, and I would tend to agree that for them, seminary is a waste of time and money. Most girls don’t go for that, though. In my seminary, it was a very small minority of girls who were partying in Geula and Ben Yehuda; the rest of us took the year seriously. Yes, we had a ton of fun, but that wasn’t the sole focus.
Not all sems are like camp.
Flatbusher- I worked hard in high school to get good grades which helped me get a scholarship from the school, I applied to various organizations that give girls learning in Israel scholarships, and I used some of my own money that I made from various jobs over the years.
I really wanted my year and worked hard to make it happen. It wasn’t handed to me.
Luna: But you do understand that not everyone does it that way. Not every school gives scholarships and what organizations offer often does not cover even half the cost of the year. So your parents didn’t pay a cent to make it happen?
Shopping: No one said all seminaries are like camp but there are enough out there that are. My daughters went to a serious place and worked hard but there was plenty of fun time as well. Seminary in Israel is a racket. They have limited space but still charge non-refundable application fees that must be lucrative since they can take only a percentage of the applicants. I don’t know how many girls actually want to go to Seminary in Israel for the learning and spiritual experience, but for most people it is a draining expense.
My parents urged me to go to seminary, even when I decided I didn’t want to go. Not because it was socially acceptable- if I’d had good reasons for not wanting to go then they would have been completely supportive- but because they wanted me to experience EY and have an amazing year. Baruch Hashem I listened to them, gaining in learning, maturity and experiences that are inseparable parts of me.
In a way, it’s even more important for more yeshivish girls than me. I know from my cousins that this is the last and only year for THEM- where the focus is on their self-growth, their enjoyment, their experience. The next year is a whirlwind of jobs, college, dating, marriage- in which the focus is on others. Is the year necessary? No, I’d say not. Is it an amazing thing? Yes.
Where does the tuition money that seminaries charge go towards?
Are actual costs and overhead really that expensive?
People like me have it tough. I have yet to find anyone/organization/grant for girls whom live in Israel currently.
Hashem will send help. I’m not going for sem for camp. I have reasons I cannot disclose here.
But don’t judge everyone.
Bored: Probably the same as tuition money, where schools hire inexperienced teachers fresh out of seminary. I don’t think they are paying them high salaries.
This name is already taken- No. I did not go to BJJ
DaasYochid: How do you define “the shidduch crisis”?
This name is already taken: 1) Girls not getting shidduch suggestions
2) Girls not going out
isn’t both reasons one and the same? How can they go out if their not getting shidduch suggestions?
3) girls not getting married
is also related.
4) The boys mother
is also related.
So are his sister and cousin.
The girls get brainwashed that they should marry a learning boy who wants to sit in kollel the problem is that most girls are not growing up with such a lifestlye and after 9 months they think thats their tafkid in life and most girls dont realize this until a couple months back
Bramo- those who do not believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as brainwash; those who do believe in marrying a learning boy will view it as being taught the right way. It all depends on your perspective.
Many, if not most girls my age did not grow up with this lifestyle. Even if our fathers started off learning, most likely they went out to work when we were very young or not born yet. However, just because a person did not grow up with something, does not mean they cannot choose it for themselves.
you have to know your daughter… Israel can also be a very dangerous place If ya know what I mean…
Joe -“Or get married out of 12th grade.”
To a guy much older than them!
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