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Appropriate or inappropriate?
Appropriate or inappropriate?
Sometimes, yes, sometimes no.
Care to give examples?
The Wolf
Be specific and we will give you a specific answer.
Today’s day our children are not maturing as young as they used to when we were kids. Due to the technology generation we are in we also need to keep an eye on our children much longer until they are about 20 and mature enough to know for themselves how to stay away from bad things that effect their frumkeit
The less Tumah and gashmius you bring into your home while your children are young the earlier they will mature and be secure to remain frum without the need for you to babysit them
If bad things would effect frumkeit, bad things would be good things.
appropriate or inappropriate?!
just try!
Mommy deciding who her 25 year old son dates. Inappropriate
lesschumras- agreed, but sadly most people disagree.
Still inappropriate. If a 25 year old thinks his parent(s), with his best interest at heart, more life experience and more objectivity, should be more trusted than himself, he’s not ready to get married.
Sometimes, yes, sometimes no.
Care to give examples?
Still waiting…
Or was your OP just a “let’s throw this up on the wall and see what sticks?”
The Wolf
Mothering – yes. Smothering – no.
And I agree that a 25 year old MAN who does not trust his OWN instincts, is not ready to get married.
There is a big difference between asking a trusted person for advice and letting them control you.
RebYidd23, you hit the nail on the head.
And I agree that a 25 year old MAN who does not trust his OWN instincts, is not ready to get married.
Or woman.
The Wolf
“If bad things would effect frumkeit, bad things would be good things.”
I just got this.
I must’ve read it four separate times before getting it.
Well done, RebYidd
What if a 35 or 45 year old doesn’t trust their own instincts. Should he/she also not get married yet? 55?
If they can’t decide for themselves who they should consider for marriage, to the point where they are abdicating all authority and responsibility for the process, then yes, at any age, they should not get married.
The Wolf
35 is old enough to trust his/her instincts. If he/she does not, it would most likely be unfair to the potential shidduch.
35 was your example.
20 is also old enough. 18 too. Many would even argue younger.
It depends on the individual. No doubt some at 20 are ready. Others not.
The Wolf
Doesn’t the Talmud say something about this? Or did I read it from one of the seforim of the gedolim? Hmm..,
That not letting your grown up children be themselves and hovering over them is detrimental.
But hey, what do I care? If parents persist in mothering their chicks and the chicks get agitated with them, the parents have only themselves to blame. They keep opening their mouths.
The younger generation did not grow up shoulder to shoulder in shtetls like the previous gens. We are independent and spread out now.
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