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i have a first date coming up and i am extremely nervous! i havent spoken to a boy in over 6 years and i feel like i wont be myself on the date. any tips or advice?? conversation starters??
just smile, relax & let the boy do the talking, cause remember that’s the boys job on a date more then the girl
Be matzliach if its the right one for you
Given that the boy has probably not spoken to a girl for more than 6 years you are ahead.
Let us know when you get a mazal tov.
be nice, listen, smile/laugh when appropriate. in my experience, first date conversations are usually about lighter topics like hobbies, family, work, school, childhood, etc. Talk about that stuff and try to relax. conversation should flow naturally, just like if you were talking to anyone else you know, so don’t barrage him with questions or stay totally quiet, and take turns.
also remember that he might very well be nervous too (especially if he hasnt dated much yet and is more yeshivish), so just accept that there might be some awkward silence. Gam zeh yaavor…
if you can still stand him after 2 hours or so, it’s a good sign. hatzlocha!
When I was in yeshiva, there was an alteh bochur who got very nervous on dates.
So what we did for him, is we would script his entire date for him. It took a lot of research into the girls he was dating, so like if we’d have him ask where she went to seminary, we had to have the right follow up questions for him (e.g. where’d you to to seminary? Bnos Sarah. Oh, that’s the closest one to the dining room, right? No. Oops, must have read that on YWN. You read YWN? No, my friend does and tells me what it says. Whose your friend? PBA. Phew! At least I know I’m not dating him. Of course you’re not dating him, you’re fat (PBA-we had to know if she was fat). Slap.).
Over time, we got better at predicting what girls answer to questions, so we had much less of those awkward moments where she’d go off-script and then he’d have to just stay on script and the conversation sounded all weird.
I’d be happy to write a script for you, if you’d like.
For a few extra dollars aren’t you going to offer the option of an earpiece and hidden mike so you can just script in real-time?
You’ll be fine, speaking from experience (I’m a guy) guys get just as nervous. Just treat them like you would any other person. Like its the first day of school and you just met this new interesting person.
Personally I just wing it on dates, but it always helps to prepare before. Every once in a while I like to write down different questions/ observations that will start a conversation. I’m not as serious as other people so my questions are things like, Do people really go to Pittsburgh when they die? (Get it? People are buried in the ground, pits) Then I can talk about traveling or something like that.
You’ll be just fine.
I don’t recommend making any references to death on first dates. You’re trying to create an upbeat, enjoyable conversation; not reminding your date of the last funeral they attended.
The last funeral someone attends is usually their own. (Don’t say this on a date.)
Das Yochid
If you are having a conversation with someone, usually they are not dead. So the last funeral they attended wasn’t their own.
Does anyone know if a Zombie touches you do you become tuhmay? Do they ( The Zombie) have the din of a dead person? This is a good question for a girl to ask a boy on the first date. Especially if she isn’t interested in another date with him.
Then it probably wasn’t the last, just the most recent.
Abba_S: My friend’s brother spent a date once (actually, a Shabbos table conversation at the home of the girl he was dating) arguing with everyone, including the girl he was dating, about whether or not it is halachically permitted to be a vampire. Then again, they were practically engaged at that point and I guess she’d already missed her chance to get creeped out.
(They’re now happily married and adorable.)
Then again, their second date was at Har Herzl, so they march to their own drummer.
(Actually, I’d totally go on a date to Har Herzl. So, whoever I marry, if you’re keeping track, you’ve learned two things for our dating process on these threads: no flowers when you propose and cool cemetery dates are okay.)
writersoul
I presume that the vampire in question is biting and sucking the blood of a human which is permissible as long as the blood has not gone out of the body. The vampire sucks the blood directly from the neck to his mouth. However if it came out of the body into the air and the vampire sucked the blood off the skin it would be prohibited by the rabbis.
I wonder if they have a coffin in their living room. I am told they are very comfortable and they make a good conversational piece.
Is it halachically permitted to be a vampire?
Reb Yidd123
The prohibition of eating blood is only animal blood from the Torah. The rabbis prohibited all blood because it could be mistaken for real blood. So for example if your gums are bleeding. If you bit a piece of bread and there is blood on the bread you must remove the part that has the blood although you can swallow the blood in your mouth.
It is the same as Copepods as long as they are in the water they are permitted but once they are on land they are prohibited. Here too the vampire sucks the blood directly from the person it would be permitted. If the vampire was to open a bottle of blood it would be prohibited.
Is a vampire even Jewish? Is it considered to be human?
Drinking blood is not the only aspect of being a vampire. And probably vampires can drink artificial blood nowadays. (The zombie question could probably apply to vampires as well.)
See? it really is a great topic to get to know someone better, isn’t it?
Never having been on a date, I can’t help with that, but just popping in to say congratulations! That’s great! I hope everything moves smoothly on the next one and that you find the right guy at the right time! It’s great that you had a good start…
RebYidd23
Vampires would only be like zombies if while sucking the blood out the victim he died. If he left the victim alive he is tahor. Even if the victim died while he was sucking, the vampire is only a Father Tumah while the zombie is a dead person who was resurrected, thus making him a Grandfather of Tumah.
I guess jewish vampires daven vasikin.
Vampires are also undead.
Vampires never died they were just bitten by another vampire and got the disease. While a zombie died and was buried and is resurrected from the grave.
My general rule is that if Reg Shoe lets ’em in, they’re undead.
Vampires are undead.
Stern (YU) has a science and Judaism journal every year and people tend to write about very… interesting stuff- a girl once wrote about porphyria and how it might have related to Esav (IIRC) and, of course, used the vampire tagline. It was actually a very interesting essay. Those journals are fun to read.
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