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You want the kids to marry earlier…
But how early is too early?
For girls, is 15 an okay to marry?
And boys at 17?
This is what the chassidim do, why can’t we do the same?
Opinions?
Chazal have a pretty clear opinion on this question. Why not take their advice?
In New York State it is legal to get married beginning at age 14.
I might be wrong about this, but I don’t think chassidish girls marry at 15.
It depends on individual maturity.
You’re either a kid or a pedophile.
If you’re a kid: you’re too young to get married.
If you’re a pedophile…
Shopping613, is it usually the wife that’s 15 or both the husband and wife that’s 15? (I assume the 13 year old was the wife.)
Rabbi Shick of breslav in the north of Israel recommends his followers to marry very young, 15 or 16
In Yemen this too was the custom, and when they emigrated to the UK or Israel we used to see young men of 17 walking around with 2!!!!!!! Wifes
Not everyone is even physically mature at 15.
I am told that because of our diets we mature early these days
Soya for example has hormones that cause early maturity
I am told that because of our diets we mature early these days
So should we start marrying earlier, say at 13, rather than at 15?
What’s wrong with 9 and 3?
Barlev: Some researchers suggests that it’s because of watching modern “untzniyustik” media that causes psychological, emotional and physical changes.
Wisey: So insular folks who are not subjected to the type of media or other exposure that you refer to, do not experience the same physical changes referred to?
Lior, I wasn’t using that argument to suggest early marriage, just to refute Reb yid claim that at 15 some are still immature physically
Most people are physically mature at 15. Most, but not all.
It’s the emotional maturity not physical maturity that is the issue.
I would not have let my kids marry at 15 years of age no matter how mature they were.
Physical maturity is also important.
“In New York State it is legal to get married beginning at age 14”
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Is it legal to work at age 14 in New York State?
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“It depends on individual maturity”
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If people can’t support themself, they are not mature to get married.
It is legal to work at 14, but not to leave school.
Then I guess that in NYS, at 14 you can get married and work but you have to continue going to school.
Can you imagine 14 y.o girl, who going to school, working and, on a top of this, cooking, cleaning, making laundry…..
I can’t see why she would like to be married at age 14…
I can’t see why her parents would like her to be married at age 14….
I don’t ask what kind of job she can do at age 14 and what she can make for a couple hours after school… it is very obvious
So if you get married at age 14 you need your parents/ welfare to support you in order to allow you to finish hs. At that point, I suppose that if you are married, that going to public school according to Daas Torah is no longer an issue- as nobody can ever really afford the tuition to go to a day school at such a young age. Perhaps getting married at such a young age will interfere with the husband’s ability to learn. He will be unable to get semicha after hs because he will have to work… He will also have problems attending the rigorous schedule at his yeshiva.
But there are limitations on the working part. And I find it ridiculous that you are old enough to be married before you are old enough to purchase alcohol.
Do you think the minimal marital age ought to be 21 or do you think the age for alcohol should be 14?
I think the age for alcohol should be 13. But nobody should drink alcohol until 18 or marriage.
I like 10 year old alcohol, but 15 is even better, and 21 even better. Single malt, of course.
Shopping613: I quite frankly don’t believe you. At least not in the US. 13 & 15 are definitely not the norm to get married at in any Chasidish group here. If you’re discussing extreme cults like Helbrans (now in Guatemala) or maybe Yidden in Yemen (if there are any left there) that’s something else.
And many Chasidim have long engagements, so if someone is engaged at 17 (which is young even by Chasidic standards, but possible) it’s very likely he or she will be 18+ at the wedding.
Mammele: I believe Shopping lives in Eretz Yisroel.
Even in EY I don’t think 15 is a common age to get married at. MAYBE 17.
You have to wait until 21 to do a lichayim. Might have a kid by then.
Lior: I’m not holding in these inyonim but those researchers might not be aware of such communities.
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