Autism Spectrum Disorder Support Thread

Why is the frum world so contradictory about it’s treatment of autistic people?

You say we have special neshamos, but you make life impossible for us to live. You try to force those of us who are high functioning to act like you, without taking into account everything about us that makes that so hard. You’re so quick to point out what is different about us that you miss the fact that we’re people as well. We have feelings, dreams, and hopes. We become ovewhelmed, stressed, angry and sad. But if you ask most people, even those educated in special education pedagogy, they will not even think twice before saying something dumb like “autistic people don’t have feelings” or “autistic people don’t want to have anything to do with other people”, and then you feel all nice and comfortable treating us like objects in the room, saying we’re aloof, rude, and cold. Let me tell you something. Every autistic person I know spends a whole lot more time trying to understand what other people are thinking and what effect their actions/words will have on others than I see any evidence that other people do. Yet, no matter what we do, and no matter how hard we try, we always fall short, and you are quick to point it out.

So don’t come now with your “autistic people are beautiful” and “all autistic people have special neshamos”. Just treat us (and, for that matter, each other) with the same amount of energy and consideration we spend on you. I guarentee you, if non-autistic people tried half as hard as I do to make sure that what they did didn’t upset other people or harm them, the world would be alot better off.

Here’s what I don’t get – they say that non-autistic people naturally pick up on what other are thinking and feeling and empathize with their feelings. In that case, if you always know how what you do will affect other people emotionally, why are you so cruel?