- This topic has 14 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 10 years, 3 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
of course that what a “bucher” that’s dating should look into a girl is if she has good “midos” and “hashkafah”….
but how much should A) money, b) looks, be a factor according to the correct “torahdike’h hashkafah”?
moyshe kapoyer, Torah comes before anything else.
Just look up the myriad other threads on this topic. ( go figure, here we go again.)
To be or not to be, very funny.
Moshe kapoyer, these questions are a matter of opinion, so the best thing is to ask your mentor these questions
Midos, hashkafah and compatibility are most important. Looks are in the eye of the beholder and can and will change. Marry for money and you’ll live to regret it. Besides, money doesn’t always last either.
He who pays the piper, calls the tune. Marry for money, and watch those puppet strings attach themselves to you. Marry the girl who hashkafically matches you, has middos that you would want to see inculcated in your children, and to whom you are attracted. If her family has money, and despite that, they too, are menschlech, then you have a wonderful shidduch.
Money is hard to ignore.
Look for a heart of gold rather than hard gold.
moyshe kapoyer, just look for somebody that loves Torah.
A couple needs to make a parnassah somehow. Parnassah can come from many different places. If either the girl or the boy or both of them is working or is planning to work, that’s great. If NEITHER is planning to work long-term and the two sets of parents are unable to come up with a combined level of support that is adequate– well, that’s where money comes into the picture. In other words, there might be practical financial reasons to turn down a shidduch from a less wealthy family, but no reason I can think of to prioritize shidduchim from wealthier families. As far as looks, that’s always important. To what degree it is important depends on the individuals involved.
R’ Paysach Krohn says, if you marry for money, you’ll soon lose interest.
geordie613, lose interest in the money or in the girl?
Money is actually not a positive attribute. It comes along with lots of problems, especially in Shidduchim and a new marriage.
And about looks: you need to like how your spouse looks. You don’t need a drop-dead gorgeous model, but you do need a girl that you find pretty.
Hope that helped.
R’ Paysach Krohn says, if you marry for money, you’ll soon lose interest. “
lose interest in the money or in the girl? “
IT’S A PUN!!!!!!! Kinda like, ” If you ignore your good health – don’t worry, it will leave you.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.