Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › How to keep our children on a Torah path
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May 14, 2014 11:26 am at 11:26 am #612772ymbyiMember
We commonly ask how to keep our children “on the derech”, however this becomes how to keep my child on specific derech with no lee way.
This is the problem.
Yes we must raise our children as we see fit, but when Children begin to question our Hashkafa or our dress code parents must relent and give their children the freedom to explore any form of Halachic Judaism that speaks to them.
My family has a very wide variety from very charedi anti-Zionist types to very Dati Leumi State loving, Army serving types. Of my 36 first cousins and my cousins numerous children (34 are married) they are all Halachic Jews. Nearly 100 souls from my mothers side alone are all Halachic, but you find among them Sheitals, colorful Mitpachot, Black hates and Kippot Srugot.
We all get together for family simachot and all eat at each others houses without exception. Even within different families there is a wide mix of Torah ideology among the cousins. It is amazing and beautiful and no one judges. And that is the secrete to this success story. I had only had one cousin who briefly became secular and we did not judge her and loved her and now she is back and seriously dating a very serious guy who learned at Yeshivat HaGush.
Barcuh Hashem I am in such a family and that is the secrete.
As my great grand father wrote in his will: Keep the love of Hashem, Torah and Eretz Yisrael strong, sing lively at Shabbat meals and thsu guard the fututre generations. We have fulfilled my great grandfathers request and may we continue to do so for eternity.
May 14, 2014 11:51 am at 11:51 am #1017920ymbyiMemberPS. My grandfather built both Yeshiva Telz and Bnei Akiva in Cleavland under the same roof. He was both Ohev Torah and Ohev Ha’aretz and he wanted to strengthen both ideal in Cleavland.
May 14, 2014 12:24 pm at 12:24 pm #1017921the plumberMemberMy family is the same way, we hav chassifish, litvok, orthodox, reform, conservative. Needless to say, wer don’t eat at everyone’s house. I personallywill not let my kids explore like my family did.
May 14, 2014 6:08 pm at 6:08 pm #1017922sm29ParticipantFor one thing, people need good models and examples. If children experience an environment where there is good middos, joy of Torah and Mitzvos, and ahavas yisrael, then the children will hopefully want to follow that. Of course, no one is perfect and there might be times when negative situations come up that might or might not have an impact. In that case, we should also teach people how to be strong despite negative situations. That’s why we need a strong foundation when we learn, so we are resilient and don’t let things tear us down.
Communication is key to a strong relationship with family. Plus, listening to how they feel, and being understanding and patient.
Also, pray to know how to help your family, because we can’t do it without G-d’s help. 🙂
May 30, 2014 6:48 am at 6:48 am #1017923sm29ParticipantGood message for Shavuous
May 30, 2014 7:09 pm at 7:09 pm #1017924To be or not to beMemberExcitement about yidishkeit. Chidren feed off of adults enthusiasm< WE ARE JEWS!!!!GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!( a little cheesecake doesn’t hurt though)
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