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My friend who (I thought tells me everything) I just recently found out she is talking to this boy… Not just talking to him but they r obsessed with each other! This girl is a really frum girl, she is going to the best seminary in Eretz Yisroel next year. When she first had a bit to do with him I told her to go to someone in school who would help, let’s call her $ she went to her. Now I know I can’t tell $ about what’s going on bc $ doesn’t appreciate people hiding things from her and she won’t want to hear it from me. I have no idea what I’m meant to do in my situation, she doesn’t know that I know about her and this boy! I need help please!!
Is she doing anything more wrong than just talking? If it’s just talking and a bit of an emotional connection, the best thing IMO is to leave it be. They’ll stop talking when she’s in seminary, there will be some emotional pain, and that will be that. If there’s more going on than just talking, then you need to get involved before anything happens that can affect them both for life.
How did you find out, if you weren’t supposed to know and she didn’t tell you?
MYOB!!!
You have a complete obligation to tell her parents. You should also tell “$”. Anything you can do to break it up you must do. Even if it will cause a breach in your relationship with her.
Sam2, Is she doing anything more wrong than just talking? If it’s just talking and a bit of an emotional connection,
From the OP: Not just talking to him but they r obsessed with each other!
DY: If the only connection is emotional, then there will be more harm done at this point in any attempted forced break than in letting it go on. It will end on its own in 4 months anyway when she goes to seminary. Obsession with a guy is certainly not a good thing for any high school girl, but in that situation the lesser of all evils is usually to just let things end naturally. If there is any concern that more than just talking may occur, that’s when you need to step in.
If someone were to ask me where is the last place in the world that you should be looking to for advice for an issue like this I would say yeshivaworld. we have more than enough professionals in our community that deal with issues like this. no one here has any idea what they’re talking about. please do your friend a favor and ignore everything written here and speak to someone who is qualified in this area.
and renter, you want responsibility for destroying a family, do you have any idea what you’re talking about. I realize I don’t either which is why I know how to keep my mouth shut instead of playing with ppls lives
Not having experience in the matter, I wouldn’t presume to know the best way to deal with such a horrible situation.
But, I would think that there is a very real danger of the situation going from bad to worse. Sam, you wrote, “If there is any concern that more than just talking may occur, that’s when you need to step in.”
I just don’t see how there wouldn’t be such a concern.
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