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  • #612347
    TheGoq
    Participant

    A New Jersey court has ruled that an expectant mother can refuse to have the baby’s father in the delivery room saying that he doesn’t have the right to bond with his child before it is born. I think this is a fair ruling if the soon to be parents are not on good terms with each other she shouldn’t have to deal with the stress of her ex in the delivery room or during pregnancy, what do you think?

    #1007979

    How much “bonding” is really going on in the delivery room anyway?? Hello??? If he wants to “bond” with the baby before it is born that should be done before she goes into labor– and, yes, I think she should have the right to object even to that. After the baby is born they can make custody and visiting arrangements, etc, but until then baby and mother are literally inseparable, and she shouldn’t have to be subjected to his company if she doesn’t want it. Especially since unborn baby bonding frequently involves physical contact.

    #1007980
    apushatayid
    Participant

    call me naive, but is it possible to “bond” with a fetus, even one developed to the point that it is ready for birth?

    #1007981
    akuperma
    Participant

    If the patient doesn’t want a “guest” in the room during a medical procedure, it isn’t for a court to be involved. Privacy counts for something. The “back story” of the case may be fascinating (or tragic, or pathetic), but it really isn’t of legal significance.

    #1007982
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    I think the right for the father to bond with the baby is only once the baby can be without the mother… before that it’s up to the mother whether she wants to be with him. If he wants to bond with the baby before, he should make sure to be nice to the mother :).

    #1007983
    apushatayid
    Participant

    could we stick to the courts ruling for a second?

    what does this mean “saying that he doesn’t have the right to bond with his child before it is born.”

    does bonding = emotional attachment? I would think not since you can not legislate for or against an emotional attachment. bonding in this context probably means something else, what?

    #1007984

    I don’t know the case, but it sounds like the guy argued he had the right to be in the delivery room so he could bond with his child, and the judge said there was no such thing as bonding with a fetus.

    #1007985
    TheGoq
    Participant

    That is right jf02 the court ruled that parental rights for the father do not start until the child is born.

    #1007986
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    The result in this case should be obvious that he doesn’t get to be in the delivery room.

    It should also be obvious that it doesn’t mean anything about the general rights of the father.

    #1007987
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Further information for those who might want it the fathers attorney claims he didn’t want to be in the delivery room but wanted to see the baby soon after the birth so he could begin to bond with the child right away just as the mother does.

    #1007988
    apushatayid
    Participant

    by him crazy glue.

    #1007989
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Further information for those who might want it the fathers attorney claims he didn’t want to be in the delivery room but wanted to see the baby soon after the birth so he could begin to bond with the child right away just as the mother does.

    See, now that makes more sense, and it is obvious the father should be allowed to see the kid on the first day, and even change its diaper.

    #1007991
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    Gamanit has the best response 🙂

    #1007992
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I think the right for the father to bond with the baby is only once the baby can be without the mother… before that it’s up to the mother whether she wants to be with him. If he wants to bond with the baby before, he should make sure to be nice to the mother :).

    And for this reason, I never take care of my kids at all until they are old enough to be without their mother.

    (Real response: Maybe the mother was at fault in the relationship. And why should it be different based on the parents’ relationship? Cannot the father hold the baby for 20 minutes even if the mother hates him?)

    #1007993
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    This story is bizarre.

    The father’s lawyer says he never wanted to be in the delivery room; he just wanted to see the baby in the hospital as soon as possible.

    My guess is the judge wanted to be in the news, and wanted to write a landmark opinion that would be cited. So he just went off on a rampage instead of addressing the actual dispute.

    #1007994
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    The father can hold the baby without the presence of the mother if she so wishes. It just doesn’t make any sense for her to be forced to let him be in the delivery room with her. They can take the baby shortly after birth and let the father hold him/her.

    #1007995
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Yes, that is my understanding.

    #1007996
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    When I was giving birth I told my husband that *I* would wait outside and HE could have the baby.

    #1007997
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I’ve opined before, that women really ride on the fact that men don’t give birth to try to claim that it’s very hard. I don’t believe it. If men gave birth, they’d just do so in the handicapped stall and then be back at their desk after changing into smaller clothes.

    #1007998
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    apparently Gd disagrees with you.

    And besides, I never said it hurt, I just had some phone calls to make.

    #1007999
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    It just says you’ll be sad. Post partum depression.

    #1008000
    🐵 ⌨ Gamanit
    Participant

    popa_bar_abba- do you think it’s called labor because it’s easy?

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