starting to date

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  • #612311
    ihear
    Member

    i know that many people have many opinions on this matter so im going to take that into consideration but im curios what is generally considered late for a guy who is in yeshiva and college to get into the parsha, i mean age wise 22? 23? 24? never considered late?

    #1007750
    mybrother
    Member

    i know quite a few really good guys 24 – 25 that are still not really “in the parsha”,

    For good reasons ,most of them its for financial reasons, its not easy these days 🙁

    A woman needs a man she can respect, for example he can work and support the family OR he can dedicate his life to learning Torah.

    Those who aren’t up to par in that area are setting themselves up for a tough married life.

    Take your time, Be a man your woman can respect =)

    #1007751
    Logician
    Participant

    Why do you care the slightest what is considered late ? Are you really going to jump into something like marriage because of others’ perception ?

    Based on your feelings and reasons (which I would hope you would filter through the Torah figure in your life), make your own decision, and Hatzlacha!

    #1007752
    jbaldy22
    Member

    Have a rebbi who can help you decide. everyone is different it really depends on whether you are in a position in life where you have worked on yourself enough to be a good spouse. Financial concerns are not always a good reason to push things off this is where consulting with a rebbi/mentor will help you figure these things out.

    #1007753
    ihear
    Member

    All great answers thanks guys, but more precisely at what point does it become a question of “why hasn’t he started dating yet”? Is more what I mean.

    #1007754
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    Anything past 18 is considered late. Then the question is how late.

    The answer is a complicated formula. You take your current age, denominated in years, and you subtract the gematria of chai, and that yields your lateness factor.

    If your lateness factor is over 6, you should see a therapist immediately.

    #1007755
    ihear
    Member

    …Arbitrarily engaged in skepticism

    #1007756

    I was mature enough to get married at 13, but the rest of the world had not adapted sufficiently to my maturity. Also my wife was immature for her age (she was 29 at the time.)

    #1007757

    Logician, i agree with you

    #1007758
    Torah613Torah
    Participant

    You should start to date when you are able to be a good husband and future father.

    This means different things to different people.

    #1007760
    Logician
    Participant

    Torah613 –

    You should not date if you are UNable to be a good husband and future father. That much is true.

    #1007761
    ihear
    Member

    u guys are saying good but from an outside perspective as a klall what is considered the avg age to start or the avg time that is considered late to start, obviously if one feels he isnt ready to be a good father or husband he shouldnt begin but from an outside view what do people consider late

    #1007762

    It really depends on the community. There are different standards in different places.

    #1007763
    ihear
    Member

    Well that’s not ambiguous at all

    #1007764

    so what do you want? Ask a specific question and maybe you’ll get a specific answer! Do you expect a complete list of the standards of every single community in the world??

    #1007765
    golfer
    Participant

    Start after Purim.

    There. That’s settled.

    Ah freilichen!

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