BMG freezer

because the askangvirim are too busy on YWN to do any askanus.

The purpose of the freezer is to give bochurim time to settle in to learn before they get distracted by shidduchim. The age gap is, to me, an issue, but the advantages and diadvantages have to be weighed.

If one has a problem with this, there are other Yeshivahs, I guess. I personally don’t think it’s a great idea, but my opinion matters very little. This is their policy v’zehu.

I have a feeling that the Roshei Yeshiva have a better idea whether shidduchim affects the bochhrim’s learning than askangvir.

Yes, but your name is Ask Angvir. You are supposed to give US answers.

I have the solution!!!!!

If the problem with the freezer is that the boys are entering the freezer at an advanced age, then how about having the boys in the freezer EARLIER?

This means that boys should be coming back from E”Y by 21 at the latest, so they will be able to date from Lakewood at age 21/22.

Why should my daughters suffer because boys feel the need to “discover themselves” for 5 years after high school? Let them go to Israel at 19 or 20 for a year or 2 at the most. Why should all these boys start dating at 23 when our 21 year old has been in the parsha for 2 years already!

I believe the BMG policy was established in order to create an atmosphere that the Yeshiva is not be used solely as a shidduch playground. The freezer is only 4 months so it’s not much in terms of contributing to the shidduch crisis and it’s substantial enough to create a nice ruach of new bochurim learning without distraction for 4 months.

If one has a shidduch that he is seriously considering he may submit the name of that individual at the beginning of the zman and is permitted to pursue that prospect even during the freezer. The point is to prevent a hefker atmosphere in the yeshiva as opposed to preventing shidduchim from materializing.

On the flip side if one is on the “BMG track” and presumably knows the rules of the system then technically he is as much to blame for having gone to BMG when he’s already going out. He could have come a few months earlier and the freezer wouldn’t have affected him at all.

If you believe that the ultimate is for the husband to be learning (which you obviously do if you’re looking in bmg) then you would want the boy to first be settled in his learning environment and only after he’s had a good schedule for a few weeks, he should start dating. If those are your priorities that’s what you should want. But if you want your sons/sons in law to learn for the sake of fitting in and you don’t believe in the actual value if their learning then you would make fun of the rule and say ‘when they have kids they’ll be too distracted to learn so why not destroy their learning now bec it’ll be destroyed later anyway’.

As for me, I think this whole hoopla over bmg is ridiculous so I make fun of it. Then again my husband is sitting and learning so it’s really the obsession with bmg that gets me rather than the kollel aspect. If you really need a boy in learning, take any of the boys who have expired the freezer (there are plenty to go around) or go to. Any other yeshiva (also of which there are plenty).

poshute yid +1.

If BMG allowed it, children would go there just to say they are in BMG for “Shidduchim” purposes (he would be worth more years on the market). This way he actually has to put some time in first.

bigkhuna – You may be right, but that is too cynical for me.

The Goq – Not if you want the Chasivus of marrying a Lakewood Bochur. If girls were willing to marry without first looking at the prestige of their chassanim, the shidduch crisis would have been significantly reduced already.

even girls who aren’t looking for BMG guys are having trouble finding shidduchim, don’t kid yourself that thats all that everyone wants and thats why theres a shidduch crisis

You have a pronoun “that’s” which is undefined. Are you telling me that girls do not ever reject guys (for any reason) because “all girls just want a shudduch”?

Remember, in Europe (and even now by Chassidim to some extent) the girls really don’t have much of a say in the matter.

Goq, the vast majority of bochurim of a particular type are in BMG.

Gavra, I thought “that’s” was clearly defined as BMG bochurim (or that type) and I think sem613 was sharing her observation that girls who are not looking for that type are also having problems.

Sem613: Assuming DY is correct, the push for BMG guys certainly affects those who are not looking for that type. First it creates the marketplace, which is pro-boy. Second, the push for BMG-type boys overpopulates that group (as many boys won’t start working until after Sheva Brachos is over), and gives incentive to be a “learning boy” (as they get supported, which is a much easier life than having to go work). The girls who want to marry working boys are left with very few (yeshiva-type) boys to date, as they are all still learning.

T613: It certainly contributes to why the crisis is less severe in the Chassidish community.

This is really true? Only BMG will do for a serius learner?

Can’t tell if you’re all kidding around? Or stating this as fact?

I’m not going to name names but there actually are other yeshivas out there. They’re all full of batlanim?

And gavra, that last sentence of yours about the search for “prestigious” chassanim says a lot about the current reality of shidduchim. (Open to debate whether we want to call it a crisis.) Unlikely that your point will be addressed seriously by anyone. Not the girls. Not the shadchanim. Not the askanim. Not the girls’ mothers.

The only really good shidduchim thread round here was the “InShidduchim…” with that cliffhanger mystery running through it. I’m still waiting for the posters to take pity on the rest of us and tell us WHAT HAPPENS AT THE END.

Nothing at all against most of the guys in a Lakewood. They are truly ehrlich and are amazing in their hasmadah.

But, in a yeshiva of 7,000, if 10% don’t belong there, that is still 700 guys who may have gone to some other yeshivos or started college/working, but instead felt they had to go to Lakewood to make everyone happy.

While I disagree with some of askangvir’s points regarding the freezer, he’s right that the typical bochur from BMG’s profile is not the same as one from many of those yeshivos listed.

most guys go there so most girls think its the only place. btw goldenburgs in monsey bimkom YU for 20

You know what FriendinF-

Let’s bash YU!

Let’s also bash Mir, Chaim Berlin, Novardok, Shor Yashuv & Waterbury!

Oh, and let’s not forget Ateret Torah!

Also any boy who’s under 6′, any boy who doesn’t go to Deli 52 Thursday night, any boy who once might have accidentally worn mismatched socks, and any guy who once left his hat in the back seat of his car when he ran in to Mincha!

Now we made our very own shidduch crisis!

Right here in the CR!

Easy, wasn’t it?

That was a little too easy, but that point is well-taken.