The five-phase cycle of a girl in shidduchim

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  • #610559
    live right
    Member

    “girl in shidduchim cycle”:

    phase 1: I love being single!!!! im so independent, living it up!(symptoms= crazy social life, lots of shopping and road trips)

    Phase 2: I am sick and tired of being single and i am never gonna get married (symptoms= lots of crying, sulking, venting)

    phase 3: theres someone out there for me and until i find him i will just grow and get better (symptoms= learning seforim, davening shacharis, mincha and saying tehillim yomi and perek shira, smiling, running to do mitzvos)

    phase 4: I want to be bad bad bad and i dont care if i ever get married (symptoms= lots of unmentionables)

    Phase 5: I want to run away as far as i can get and have fun and act crazy (symptoms= hysterical bouts of laughter, impulsive drives to random places, impulsively jumping on plane to somewhere/driving somewhere/going for Shabbos at last minute, making sure not to be home for more than 10 minute intervals)

    back to…Phase 1: I love being single!!!!!

    warning: each phase can last for as short as one or two days and for as long as a month. normally, a phase will be about a week long.

    #995515
    Mr Sfardi
    Participant

    Live Right: You sound like your an only boy in the middle of a abunch of sisters.

    #995516
    live right
    Member

    Mr Sfardi: I can see why you would think that. but no. that is not the case

    #995517
    Burnt Steak
    Participant

    I feel kinda bad because I laughed after reading this.

    But from what I’ve seen with relationships this also applies to guys although a much lesser state.

    #995518
    SaysMe
    Member

    not any of the singles i know well, but i hear! Sounds like a draining cycle you’re in

    #995519
    notasheep
    Member

    I think there is a stage 0 (a bit like the START square on a board game): I am ready, but not desperate and will enjoy being single whilst I still am, but if something comes up I won’t say no.

    I never got past that stage. I enjoyed my time being single but never really got fed up of it to the point of despair, and when I got engaged I was not upset to leave it behind. I don’t remember going through any of the other stages…

    #995520
    live right
    Member
    #995521
    Toi
    Participant

    boom

    #995522
    live right
    Member

    notasheep: I wud call that a pre- shidduchim stage. You are not actively looking or waiting. I had that for about 5 months. it gets old after you realize that nobodys coming after you.

    #995523
    ikno
    Member

    you left out the stage of waiting for ppl to actually remember you are available and call with suggestions! and that incorporates all 5 stages. been there, doin it!

    #995524
    live right
    Member

    “you left out the stage of waiting for ppl to actually remember you are available and call with suggestions!”

    Ikno: that would be called ” being in shidduchim”. so these are the 5 phases a girl goes thru while she does exactly that: wait. and wait. and wait. and wait. and get a suggestion. and wait. and wait. and wait. and get a suggestion redt. and wait. and wait. and wait. and wait. and get a no. and wait again.

    so….yeh.

    #995525
    batseven
    Participant

    live- right- I can definitely identify with almost all of those stages

    #995526
    ironpenguin
    Member

    ouch this kind of hurts! live right – i hear the waiting game a lot!! So stressful!

    #995527
    rebdoniel
    Member

    This sounds like it can describe men, too. I found that after breaking off things with someone, I typically take extra solace in religious matters, and increase learning, etc.

    #995528
    the-art-of-moi
    Participant

    Wow, this is so true! my sister in a post;)

    #995529
    streekgeek
    Participant

    Bump!

    lol live right 😉 You’ve really broken it down in to a science. So where are we holding today…

    #995530
    👑RebYidd23
    Participant

    Most girls don’t get all five.

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