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break an engagement or go through a divorce? Obviously neither are choices anyone wants to ever go through but I have recently heard that there are people who would rather divorce than break an engagement? Any thoughts on this?
People who make a “tanoiim” by the “vort” hold it’s a serious thing to breach, and I don’t know more than that about THAT. I do know how awful a bad marriage and divorce can be though, so if you KNOW it’s gonna be a disaster,break it off!
Anyone who thinks it is better to divorce than break an engagement should not be going out! Divorce is far more traumatic for each party, it is often messy, and who is to say that it would not involve children, potentially? As a parent, I would also not dismiss the crazy costs involved with making a wedding, all for nothing.
Is this rly a question! Of course it’s better to break the engagement for many reasons!
I’m guessing part of the question is that the people don’t actually know they’ll get divorced.
Like, I assume you aren’t asking that you’ll have the sofer standing by at the chuppah, and have eidi gerushin be another kibbud.
I assume the OP heard about situations such as eclipse described. I too have heard of people getting married, knowing that they will divorce after sheva berachos.
No kibbudim, though.
Theoretically, I would think that it would be better to break an engagement instead of getting a divorce, because with an engagement, you aren’t even married yet, so it’s a lot simpler. Um…. Did that make much sense?
I’m guessing part of the question is that the people don’t actually know they’ll get divorced.
and who is to say that it would not involve children, potentially?
I think it’s understood that the OP is talking about where the decision to divorce comes even before the wedding and, as a result, there will be no possibility of children.
The Wolf
I don’t understand why this is being dredged up again. There was a thread about this in the past.
I will note that threads that start with “I heard” are usually half quotes and has no bearing on the person posing the supposition.
If this is a situation that applies to poster, the absolute worse thing to do is get advise from a forum such as this. ????.
I’m curious to know, anyone have stories of:
1- someone who was really unhappy before the marriage and wanted to break it off, but got married, and ended up being really happy? Or the reverse?
2- someone who broke off the engagement, and after got married to someone else, and then regretted breaking off the first shidduch?
dy-I too have heard of people getting married, knowing that they will divorce after sheva berachos.
???? are you serious.
Of course it’s better before than after the wedding! After the wedding, the divorced kallah can never marry a Kohein. Are people so afraid of what “people” might say, that they would go through with a wedding only to get divorced?
Much better to end an engagement (or near-engagement). Relatively few halakhic consequences, relatively little financial loss, and you avoid the heartbreak and problems of a miserable marriage.
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