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Here’s the situation:
Group Therapy for the elderly, all living in a nursing home,with few if any family visitors.
What might it sound like?
Who wants to be the kind and understanding moderator?
Whoever you are,you can be a serious or funny character, but STAY in character.
Oh, and a little twist.
The moderator’s father is the owner of the place,so everything has to be worded very tactfully.
ActI, Scene 1: The Moderator introduces the day’s topic for discussion.
I’m the crotchety old man.
Her meds! She missed her meds. We need to fill her in on those.
I’m the twelve year old boy who ran away from home and is posing as an eighty-five year-old woman, for the free food and Percocet.
I’m Alex I’m 86 years young I’m a widower twice and have 3 children none of whom i really care for I’m sad to say, I am an eligible “bachelor” and many of the ladies here at Sunrise Glen are fond of me in fact Sarah the dessert monitor gives me extra jello, for over 50 years i owned the Lamp Emporium on Long Island I sold the business because none of my children wanted to follow in my footsteps I am by no means wealthy but very comfortable.
It was my choice to move into this “assisted living center” please they can call it what they want its still a nursing home but a nice one the staff is mostly nice and the food while bland is not awful.
My best friend here is Max we were buddies in the navy and when i moved in here we were reunited after 50 years.
I don’t wanna brush my teeth because toothpaste is eewy and tastes like root beer. Also old people aren’t supposed to have teeth so I don’t have teeth.
Well Celia as vice president of the Sunrise Glen residents association i think a treadmill is a great idea but we will have to have a fundraiser to pay for it any ideas? the bake sale we held last year was a bit of a flop any new ideas would be appreciated and we will we ask ownership to agree to match us dollar for dollar.
It seems to me that those little kids with the squeaky voices are always begging to come sing for us. Hows a bout we charge them this year. They can pay us $1 per song or a flat rate of $25 per show. It will be much easier to sit thru that tumult if I know there’s a treadmill on the other side.
Alex: excuse me moderator lady what was your name again? i dont mind talking about treadmills and such but this supposed to be a therapy session and i have some issues to discuss please. Wasnt there supposed to be cake and coffee for this?
I want applesauce with whipped cream.
Alex: so anyway Miss/Mrs./Ms. moderator my daughter Rachel called me last night oy what a kvetch she is she has been a kvetch her whole life! I know its not right to speak ill of ones one child but she drives me up a wall sometimes, now her youngest wants to go to college and of course she cant afford the tuition because her husband is a good for nothing, I offered to bring him into the business and he flat out refused and then he started his own business which went belly up within two years and he has been struggling ever since so now she wants me to help pay the college costs she always comes to me for money and i think its time i put a stop to it but of course i would be happy to see my grandson go to college but i cant keep bailing them out what do you think i should do?
love this
Alex: well you know what my grandson deserves a chance to succeed so I will pay his tuition but directly to the school my daughter and her husband wont get their grubby hands on it i will set up a trust for my grandson.
Celia what were you discussing last time about your stepfather? i think you should continue with that.
can we please have whipped cream and applesauce
Don’t give the kid my applesauce its got my metamucil in it.
Alex: excuse me moderator lady where did you say you got your degree from? no offense but you look like you are new to this, how did you get this job?
Bump
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