Improv: Online

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Viewing 24 posts - 1 through 24 (of 24 total)
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  • #610426
    eclipse
    Member

    Here’s the situation:

    Group Therapy for the elderly, all living in a nursing home,with few if any family visitors.

    What might it sound like?

    Who wants to be the kind and understanding moderator?

    Whoever you are,you can be a serious or funny character, but STAY in character.

    Oh, and a little twist.

    The moderator’s father is the owner of the place,so everything has to be worded very tactfully.

    ActI, Scene 1: The Moderator introduces the day’s topic for discussion.

    #975926
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I’m the crotchety old man.

    #975927
    eclipse
    Member

    I’m Celia, who likes to keep things moving efficiently,no matter what.

    Celia: My teeth are in. Let’s begin. When the moderator gets here,we’ll fill her in on what she missed.

    #975929
    LevAryeh
    Member

    Her meds! She missed her meds. We need to fill her in on those.

    I’m the twelve year old boy who ran away from home and is posing as an eighty-five year-old woman, for the free food and Percocet.

    #975930
    TheGoq
    Participant

    I’m Alex I’m 86 years young I’m a widower twice and have 3 children none of whom i really care for I’m sad to say, I am an eligible “bachelor” and many of the ladies here at Sunrise Glen are fond of me in fact Sarah the dessert monitor gives me extra jello, for over 50 years i owned the Lamp Emporium on Long Island I sold the business because none of my children wanted to follow in my footsteps I am by no means wealthy but very comfortable.

    It was my choice to move into this “assisted living center” please they can call it what they want its still a nursing home but a nice one the staff is mostly nice and the food while bland is not awful.

    My best friend here is Max we were buddies in the navy and when i moved in here we were reunited after 50 years.

    #975931
    eclipse
    Member

    Celia: Little boy, I hope you brushed your teeth, or you’re gonna end up with a dentist’s Purim project,like me. Gentlemen, we ladies want to know if you agree to purchasing a new treadmill for the recreation room. Popa? Alex? Keep in mind, there will be mandated speed limits, and rubber tires on either side for the reckless ones.

    #975932
    LevAryeh
    Member

    I don’t wanna brush my teeth because toothpaste is eewy and tastes like root beer. Also old people aren’t supposed to have teeth so I don’t have teeth.

    #975933
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Well Celia as vice president of the Sunrise Glen residents association i think a treadmill is a great idea but we will have to have a fundraiser to pay for it any ideas? the bake sale we held last year was a bit of a flop any new ideas would be appreciated and we will we ask ownership to agree to match us dollar for dollar.

    #975934
    eclipse
    Member

    Moderator: Ahem. Celia, what’s going on? What are you doing with my notepad? And gentlemen, this week’s fundraiser is up to you. What kind of treadmill do you want to buy? And how will you raise the money?

    #975936
    🍫Syag Lchochma
    Participant

    It seems to me that those little kids with the squeaky voices are always begging to come sing for us. Hows a bout we charge them this year. They can pay us $1 per song or a flat rate of $25 per show. It will be much easier to sit thru that tumult if I know there’s a treadmill on the other side.

    #975937
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Alex: excuse me moderator lady what was your name again? i dont mind talking about treadmills and such but this supposed to be a therapy session and i have some issues to discuss please. Wasnt there supposed to be cake and coffee for this?

    #975938
    LevAryeh
    Member

    I want applesauce with whipped cream.

    #975939
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Alex: so anyway Miss/Mrs./Ms. moderator my daughter Rachel called me last night oy what a kvetch she is she has been a kvetch her whole life! I know its not right to speak ill of ones one child but she drives me up a wall sometimes, now her youngest wants to go to college and of course she cant afford the tuition because her husband is a good for nothing, I offered to bring him into the business and he flat out refused and then he started his own business which went belly up within two years and he has been struggling ever since so now she wants me to help pay the college costs she always comes to me for money and i think its time i put a stop to it but of course i would be happy to see my grandson go to college but i cant keep bailing them out what do you think i should do?

    #975940
    eclipse
    Member

    Alex, you must breathe between sentences, or you will need oxygen!

    And the college thing….honestly it’s your call. Is your grandson likely to succeed? It’s more about if you want to do it for HIM.

    #975941
    sm29
    Participant

    love this

    #975942
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Alex: well you know what my grandson deserves a chance to succeed so I will pay his tuition but directly to the school my daughter and her husband wont get their grubby hands on it i will set up a trust for my grandson.

    Celia what were you discussing last time about your stepfather? i think you should continue with that.

    #975943
    eclipse
    Member

    Alex, I would love to continue but it’s my “hour” not to speak loshon hora, so I will tell you over mashed potatoes at lunch.

    #975944
    LevAryeh
    Member

    can we please have whipped cream and applesauce

    #975945
    eclipse
    Member

    Celia: If you put ON your glasses you’ll see the applesauce was in front of you the whole time… Wait, your glasses are IN the applesauce. When are you going to get yourself together?? Never mind-it’s MY glasses. I can’t see through applesauce…okay,clear now. Someone get him more applesauce, my glasses have aluminum in them.

    #975946
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Don’t give the kid my applesauce its got my metamucil in it.

    #975949
    eclipse
    Member

    Celia: Why is everyone else so quiet? Oh, they’re sleeping. Well, I’m going,and don’t talk about me when I leave,ladies. As they say, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful!HaHa, if your glasses are in your applesauce, I’m beautiful.

    #975950
    TheGoq
    Participant

    Alex: excuse me moderator lady where did you say you got your degree from? no offense but you look like you are new to this, how did you get this job?

    #975951
    eclipse
    Member

    Moderator: Now that Celia’s gone, I can THINK. Alex, this session is about you, not me. I have a degree in LIFE EXPERIENCE. I got the job because I’m married to the owner of this joint–uh–facility.

    #975952
    sharp
    Member

    Bump

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