Final post and request for mechila

Seichel is not my forte.

I do have a good brain, and I thank Hashem for it, but many times I do come up short in the “common sense” department, as emotions get in the way of my rational thought.

It’s been 7 months since the CR and I parted ways. I am better off for it, and I am sure the CR is as well, although I don’t lurk much either in order to avoid the temptation.

When I first started posting here way back when, I viewed this place as a safe place to have fun debates, get clarity in various areas via arguments, vent, and have a good time. (BTW I would like to thank whoever bumped my “yeshivishe maaselach” thread from way back when. Good times indeed.)

Several events happened that changed my mind, along with, of course, my “cr shomrim” debacle:

1. A total stranger used my posts to figure out my identity, email address, and even my rav, and many threads seemed geared to getting people to divulge more information;

2. I became aware that people were using the CR in lieu of a rav, meaning my words had more meaning than I intended;

3. I further became aware that my arguments change depending on the poster and my mood, meaning it’s quite possible many of my posts were outright sheker, if not distortions of the truth. This would be bad enough in and of itself, but along with #2 it became really troublesome;

4. I became aware that even if I said the truth, people may go by the direct response to something I said which was not true, which would still be my responsibility in a sense;

5. I became aware that my posting here was becoming a problem in that it interfered with real life;

6. I learned through Even ha’ezer siman 21, which raised many questions about a participation in a mixed board which I have not satisfactorily resolved;

7. As many here know, I tried to solve problem #1 by increasing vigilance. I thought i could handle the inevitable blowback, but I couldn’t, and it led to serious lapses in my judgment, which have caused untold hurt and pain and weakened what was a real cause.

In light of the above,I am making my separation from the CR official. Additionally,

1. I am being mevatel EVERY post I have ever made here, as it might contain sheker or distortions. If I didn’t quote a source it’s obviously batul, and if I did then you need to check the sources to make sure it’s not distorted. Lo sharirin velo kayamin, batul umevutal. The sole exception to this is my post about being aware of what private information you post up here, which is still very true in a practical way.

2. Unfortunately, actions do have consequences. Good intentions or not, I did end up hurting people, sometimes badly. I would therefore like to publicly apologize to and ask mechila from ayc, Joseph, the anonymous poster whom I wrongfully accused of chillul shabbos, ywn owner, mod42, and anyone else I harmed with my actions. I would like to also ask mechila from anyone who got a distorted viewpoint or halacha from something I posted which was not emes le’amito, or who got a distorted view from direct responses to my posts.

3. I am hereby mocheil, beleiv shalem, anyone who has harmed me or insulted me here.

Kol tuv and kesiva vachasimah tovah.