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I once heard someone opine that when your kids want you to do something you can’t do on shabbos (let’s say, play with them with their electric toys), you shouldn’t tell them that the reason you won’t is because of shabbos. The ostensible reason is that you don’t want them to associate shabbos with negative feelings about restrictions.
So that kind of makes sense to me, but now I disagree anyway.
See, the alternative is telling your kid you won’t do it for no reason at all, which is unreasonable and irrational. I think it is better for them to hate shabbos than for them to think their parents are unreasonable and irrational.
Especially, since people imagine G-d similar to their parents. If your father is unreasonable and irrational, you expect G-d to be that way.
And as far as shabbos, they’ll be ok. If you don’t complain about shabbos and enjoy it, your kids will also.
Popa
A smart way to do it in general with all prohibitions is to try and provide a permissible alternative. So say we cant use X toy because it is muktza because it has batteries and we cant use muktza toys on Shabbos but we can play with this “Z” toy which isnt muktza and is a lot of fun.
Take a scenario with a mother and a young child. The kid is screaming because he doesn’t want to go to bed. The mother, after trying to reason with him, says, “You have to listen to me and go to bed, Hashem says so. ”
I get very very upset when I hear parents telling their kids things like this. Your child, at four years old, does not really care what Hashem wants while he’s having a tantrum. It’s going to make him resent Hashem if the parents use Him as an ‘excuse’.
Not exactly sure if it’s the same situation but it came to mind. I do agree with you on the Shabbos thing though.
And that’s why everyone should learn hilchos Shabbos thoroughly. Too many times I have seen people tell their children, “You can’t do that on Shabbos,” when it was something permissible. There are enough things that are prohibited on Shabbos without adding extras.
Not everything is to be construed as Mukzto.
I see far too many people say to kids that it is Muktzah to do so & so on Shabbos. Muktzoh & Melocho are not the same, and are certainly not interchangeable words nor terminology.
BTY Mukzto is as most mid’Rabonon, whereas Melocho rises all the way to a violation of the 4th commandment.
You can’t start differentiating between muktza and melocha with a 4 year old so “muktza” has become the way of saying it. When they get older u can explain the real difference. When they are little you tell them they can’t touch something because it is muktza so memaila they can’t use it either since that involves “touching” although the real issur is moving.
Carrying a burning candle is not only muktzah but also a melacha, but the candle burns better if you lift it up.
mik5
Carrying a burning candle is a melacha? How so?
Only if the carrying will affect the rate of burning; But in practice, carrying the lit candle will in some way or other, affect the actual rate of burning.
I just told my kids and now my grandchildren that on Shabbos we have special things that we eat, drink, do, and play with, that we don’t do when it is not Shabbos. I keep special Shabbos toys for the little ones, and there are treats they are ONLY allowed to have on Shabbos,a nd they look forward to Shabbos for that reason alone. I explained muktzah to them as things that we don’t use because then Shabbos would be just like any other day, and because it is special to us we also act in a special way.
My children were never permitted to use riding toys on Shabbos, though I see the frummest kollel families allowing their kids on tricycles and other such toys. I don’t happen to think that’s a good precedent from a chinuch standpoint alone.
i agree oomis. i do not let any riding toys either because it’s just not shabbosdig. there are a few things, that are permitted, that i tell my kids not to, just becuse they are not shabbosdig.
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