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I just came from a wedding where the friends of the chosson were going around asking the guests to chip in to pay for a limousine for the chosson and kallah for after the chasunah. Has anyone ever heard of this? My table thought this was rather rude.
I dont know if its rude but its rather tacky.
rude and unnecessary
It might be rude. It might be tacky. It’s a Mitzvah of being M’sameach Chassan V’kallah. If you have the money to be M’kayem it in that way, great. If you don’t or just don’t want to then you don’t have to give.
Absolutely unnecessary is right.
Rude, maybe. Tacky, perhaps. Necessary, who knows. The real question is, will it make the chassan kallah happy.
It’s been a custom for the Chosson & Kallah to leave the Chasuna in a limo for a long time. Not everyone does it but many do. Usually the Chossons’ friends arrange the limo and the money before by this wedding it seems they didn’t and it was wrong for them to go around. Usually the Chossons’ friends prearrange it, sometimes a family member, friend or one of the parents will arrange and pay for it but it’s been around for a while.
i heard of it before to but the chasan and kallak x rlly have money so it was more of a chesed i guess
Wow. How extraordinarily tacky. If I was the kallah, I’d rather no limo.
Cray request in these hard times!
I hope the Chassan has a job, not everything will be paid for
my husbands friends arranged for our limo…it was really nice for the pictures but its not a CHESSED…if u cant afford it dont go shnuering friends for moneyfor the five minutes ur in it….oh please!??!
at a friends wedding her brother asked me to chip in for the limo, i thought it was a little rude but i felt bad and gave something…
I’m surprised they didn’t ask for money for first month’s rent…
I personally never understood the whole limo thing. I didn’t do it. But if others want to have it, then by all means, I have no argument.
However, hitting up the guests at the wedding for money is tacky and rude. This should be arranged and paid for beforehand — if not by the couple, then by their friends.
The Wolf
Sorce is goyish. tehy all leave the church after the ceremony in a limo. Purely non Jewish source. Collecting $$$$ should be left for inyanei Tzedakah and lets not make this into a “dei machsoro” issue!
Excess $$$$? Tons of needy legitimate open hands….. much bigger zechus for chosson and kallah!
avhaben, do you lack complete common sense or is it just regarding this issue? So many things wrong with your analysis I don’t even know where to begin. First of all $150?? Do you just guess random numbers? I’ve seen services as cheap as $50 and mine was $75 plus the GASP tip I gave him. Second of all, what issue of tznius is there?? What does that even mean? Next, who are you to say “no need for a limo”? Why don’t you mind your own business and not make these statements that may or may not apply to an individual? And lastly, you probably don’t know this but women like to feel special so going straight home after the wedding would feel like a bit of a let down…Going to a beautiful hotel makes them feel more special…but otherwise great points…
Congrats Wolf…That’s my point. It depends on the girl so it’s no one’s place to make a statement that implies it applies to everyone.
Romance is a goyishe concept.
In my day and age, the chossons friends chipped in for that. Now days it seems that bochurim go shnoring and ask the next person to foot the bill. Sign of our times. I wonder how many of them are going to end up in Kollel?
I was at that wedding too. Not only was that tacky but the chossons friends showed excessive drinking and crude behaviour. I would like to know which Yeshivah this was as I will stay clear when looking for my daughters.
Here we go again with people complaining about guys drinking at weddings. Trust me any guy who drinks at a wedding is not looking for you as a father in law That the last thing he will need when hes over by you for shabbos is everytime he takes lechaim he gets the “eyes” from you.
It was unquestionably impolite and very chutzpahdig to do this. There is IMO nothing wrong with a limo however, as long as someone is willing to foot the bill for it. The chosson’s best friend usually makes the arrangements and asks other close friends (and ONLY them), if they would like to chip in tzu shteier for it. My son has always taken this task upon himself to make the arrangements for ALL his close friends, and covers whatever portion is not chipped in, and that is his wedding present to the couple. Just about EVERY Yeshivish couple in his chevrah has enjoyed this gift, and all the friends are happy to contribute to it.
The chosson and kallah are usually exhausted from the wedding, and the limo makes them truly feel like the melech and malka that they are supposed to be on their wedding day. And while I personally went back to my apartment with my new husband, in our clunker of a car, the times they are a-changin’ (and if I had it to do again, I would possibly LOVE to have gone to a hotel in a shiny white limo). BTW, some pretty unmentionable things also happen in people’s apartment buildings and in their very own soon-to-be-filled-with-kedusha apartments as well, from the former tenant’s who lived there (much like the former hotel guests who rented the room). Kedusha is what YOU can bring to a place that has none to begin with.
If you do not want to go in a limo, then by ALL MEANS do not do it. But don’t run to ascribe goyishe zachen to a very nice and thoughtful gesture on the part of the friends of the newlyweds. I do agree 1000% that it was a tacky and rude thing to approach guests for money at the wedding. This is usually discussed with the friends in advance of the wedding. Kids can be quite thoughtless sometimes. What a shocker!
Romance is a goyishe concept.
Making your wife feel loved and happy is a goyishe concept?
Totally goyish and possibly not tznius.
You seem to think everything is goyish. Just because the goyim do something does not necessarily make it not okay for us to do it.
working harder- I am talking the difference between a wine glass filled with wine and a water glass filled with wine.
As long as the bachurim are not driving the limo (or any other vehicle), what they drink and how much they drink is the responsibility of their parents and/or rabbeim, not you. I guess if you were the caterer, you might also be concerned that nobody barfs leaving a messy clean up for your staff.
Cshapiro
Huh?
I never heard that.
I thought there were just different minhagim: those who cover the entire wedding, those who cover after yichud, and those who cover the next day.
I never heard of covering as being connected to whether she’s chosen to wear her wedding gown home.
A LIMO? I want a 747! Off of the hall’s roof and to land on top of the hotel’s roof!
SiDi™
And to think I took Eeees home from our wedding in my 1979 Dodge Diplomat station wagon. 🙂
The Wolf
My husband paid for half of our limo and his friends paid the other half. Our chasuna was really far from where we live and his friends offered to pay for it but my husband decided to just split it. For everyone here saying how unessecary and wasteful a limo is, I have to say it was such a special part of the night! My husband and I were starving because we literally did not have 5 seconds to eat at the wedding, do we ate our steaks in the limo and and not be crammed in our wedding clothes into the backseat of a car. The hotel was somethig my husband wanted because our apartment was not totally ready yet it was a big mess, and he thought that it would make me happy ( which it did).
And to whomever said that goyim wear white dresses to their weddings, +1!!!!! Hello?? Should we start to wear black so as to distant ourselves as far as we can from goyim. Maybe we should have the dancing and dinner before the chuppah so that is the opposite too!
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