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Is this a good solution to the Shidduch Crisis?
Hi Chaim, been there done that, when i went and i went to quite a few back in the day, they were not good for me but at that time i wasn’t a very sociable person so i dont know if it works for others or not, what i did see was a lot of fraternization experienced singles who knew each other and spent time hanging out together.
Things i did like at these events, the food, entertainment, the food, some of the lectures were very good some were too lectury, the food, some of the social activities games and such, the food etc.
Was the food any good?
Oh man it never stops with the food, buffets, tea room, kiddush, arrival banquet, ice cream socials, motzei shabbos pizza on and on and on.
Can we stop getting off topic please?! The Goq, what kind of food did they have at the buffets???
Oh my curiosity whatever you could imagine and much much more and endless sea of delectables too many to describe!
On the surface, I think this is a GREAT way for single people to meet each other. BUT – it is veruy high pressure for the girls who feel they are at a “meet” market. They feel the need to compete with each other, and the process is very demeaning in many ways. But at least it is proactive on THEIR parts, and they are not relying on someone to eventually get around to fixing them up, and the back and forth nonsense that accompanies shidduchim nowadays.
The bigger problem is that it is usually the SAME people going to all of these “exciting” events with haskamas of rabbis, and facilitators (who on earth ever coined that expression – they are not facilitating anything and their presence is oppressive at times).
I went to singles events when I was young (once upon a glorious time ago), in fact I made a very dear friend on one of them (hi, Best Bubby). But nobody was bothering or facilitating or mentoring or ANYTHING us. We just met some very nice people under nice circumstances, had pleasant and wholesome activities before, over and after Shabbos, and many of us got asked out as a result.
Nowadays the entire thing is VERY awkward.
I have a female relative who attends these events, either at hotels (not so often) or in people’s homes. The same crowd always shows up, but still she goes, because “ya never know.” Ya never know, is right. She is 29 and looks about 22. You know who invariably approaches her and even ask her out? ALL the guys pushing 40(and they think she is in her early 20s and are shocked when she tells them she is older). Do they really believe that most 20-23 year old girls are looking for guys who are nearly twice their age? Still she is menschlech with them, and doesn’t rudely run off when they speak to her.
There has GOT to be a better way.
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