Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Crowdsourcing dating
- This topic has 53 replies, 28 voices, and was last updated 11 years, 12 months ago by popa_bar_abba.
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March 4, 2012 6:55 pm at 6:55 pm #602355popa_bar_abbaParticipant
According to shlomo carlebach, shabbos is not only on shabbos. I assume that means motzaei shabbos is also not only on shabbos.
I have a friend who crowdsources his dating. He posts all the resumes he gets on his facebook page. Then, every time he breaks up with a girl and wants to go out with another one, he puts a poll up on his facebook page so all his facebook friends can vote for who he should go out with next.
He says the system is working really well and he has gone out with over 200 girls like this in the past 3 years. (For a frame of reference, many girls I know go on only a few dates a year.)
Do you think this system should be spread to other people, since it works so well?
March 4, 2012 9:27 pm at 9:27 pm #914307OneOfManyParticipantFacebook is assur.
March 4, 2012 9:29 pm at 9:29 pm #914308ItcheSrulikMemberNot only is motzei shabbos not only on shabbos, it’s never on shabbos.
March 4, 2012 11:35 pm at 11:35 pm #914309oomisParticipantI may be an old fogey, but IMHO that is not a proper thing to do. Who is to say these girls would WANT their personal info plastered all over the Internet? It is extremely disrespectful to have strangers voting on your date-worthiness, also. The whole thing smacks of a lack of tznius and honor. Personal profiles, are just that – personal. They are given to the person for whom it is shayach, and not meant to be the subject of a public social network’s popularity contest that any and all can participate in.
March 5, 2012 12:07 am at 12:07 am #914310yoyaMemberI think you are probably making this up to get reactions but obviously that’s a sick thing to do. It’s basically demeaning the value of the girls. But again I don’t think that’s true.
March 5, 2012 12:38 am at 12:38 am #914311skiaddictMemberwow what a sicko! And the girls he goes out with must be crazy.
March 5, 2012 12:44 am at 12:44 am #914312popa_bar_abbaParticipantwow what a sicko! And the girls he goes out with must be crazy.
Out of 200, some of them must be normal. Besides, I happen to have gone out with about 15 of them, and 5 or 6 of those were normal.
March 5, 2012 12:56 am at 12:56 am #914313far eastParticipantone of many- please elaborate on facebook being assur?
March 5, 2012 12:58 am at 12:58 am #914314ImaofthreeParticipantTwo hundred girls? Three years? I don’t think his system is working so great!
March 5, 2012 1:38 am at 1:38 am #914315LogicianParticipantA lot of very serious people around here have some heavy-duty lightening-up to do.
March 5, 2012 1:47 am at 1:47 am #914316OneOfManyParticipantIt will make you go off the derech. Any shidduch that comes out of it is a treife relationship.
March 5, 2012 1:50 am at 1:50 am #914317ambushParticipantYou write that “the system is working really well”.
What’s his point? To date as many girls as he can? Is that the bar of ‘how well’ one’s doing in shidduchim?
So 10+ for him! He’s gone out with 200 peoples wives…
Bottom line, his goal is obviously not to get married and to find a wife, because last I checked, marriage is not a popularity contest on facebook…
March 5, 2012 3:22 am at 3:22 am #914318No One Mourns The WickedMember& how exactly does his “friends” determine who he should go out with? The prettiest picture wins the prize?
March 5, 2012 3:30 am at 3:30 am #914319popa_bar_abbaParticipant& how exactly does his “friends” determine who he should go out with? The prettiest picture wins the prize?
Well, that is the entire point of crowdsourcing. When you ask a lot of people, you actually do get a good answer even if they all don’t know very much.
And like he says, it has worked really well. He’s gone out with 200 girls.
March 5, 2012 3:33 am at 3:33 am #914320☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantLogician +1
Folks, think about the Carlebach reference.
March 5, 2012 3:40 am at 3:40 am #914321oomisParticipantNo one needs to lighten up. Assuming this is true and not a Purim Shpiel, it is reprehensible (and if you were one of the girls whose personal info was posted without her permission, you would feel that way, too, especially if you were voted Off the Island by his immature friends). If it IS a joke, then hahaha, we fell for it. Happy Purim :p
March 5, 2012 3:43 am at 3:43 am #914322popa_bar_abbaParticipantFolks, think about the Carlebach reference.
March 5, 2012 3:57 am at 3:57 am #914323OneOfManyParticipantNu. Facebook is assur. Why are we still talking about this.
March 5, 2012 4:06 am at 4:06 am #914324midwesternerParticipantThe rest of them are what they are. But oomis, you’re a veteran of the coffee room. Don’t you know Popa yet?
I must admit though, as familiar as I am with a very large body of the work of the Holy R’ Shlomo, I don’t get the reference.
March 5, 2012 4:13 am at 4:13 am #914325☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantAssuming this is true and not a Purim Shpiel
Don’t assume that.
Had I thought he was serious, I’d be just as offended as you are.
If it IS a joke, then hahaha, we fell for it. Happy Purim :p
If you recall, popa enjoys the occasional “motzaei Shabbos troll thread”. According to popa’s logic, Carlebach would allow him this pleasure on any day of the week.
March 5, 2012 4:16 am at 4:16 am #914326oomisParticipantFolks, think about the Carlebach reference.”
Pops, that’s what made me initially think you wuz funnin’ with us. But, ya know what – I would not be a bit surprised to hear that some irresponsible and immature guy (or girl, for that matter) would do this.
March 5, 2012 4:17 am at 4:17 am #914327Boris KarshinaParticipantThanks popa. This thread made me laugh just like all your other ones do. Keep it coming!
March 5, 2012 5:33 am at 5:33 am #914328RABBAIMParticipantBrooklyn bridge is for sale…. cheap!
How gullible can we be?
March 5, 2012 5:47 am at 5:47 am #914329yitayningwutParticipantOneOfMany –
It will make you go off the derech. Any shidduch that comes out of it is a treife relationship.
Well said!
March 5, 2012 6:01 am at 6:01 am #914330yid.periodMemberCan we focus the thread on how “Facebook” is gematria “Sitra Achra” now please? I think that proves the point…
March 5, 2012 10:54 am at 10:54 am #914331NechomahParticipantI’d say that it hasn’t worked at all, because presumably his point is to get married to one of these girls, not simply to go out with all of them. Couldn’t he pick one of those 200 girls to marry?
March 5, 2012 2:24 pm at 2:24 pm #914332OneOfManyParticipantOkay, that was me failing at zealot-troll. This was somewhat serious, though –> “Any shidduch that comes out of it is a treife relationship.”
March 5, 2012 2:48 pm at 2:48 pm #914333BTGuyParticipantHi PBA.
Are you serious? That sounds idiotic. Just the “public-ness” of it makes it seem trashy. Unless I am missing something..
March 5, 2012 3:36 pm at 3:36 pm #914334popa_bar_abbaParticipantIt is in the story of chatzkele l’kovad shabbos.
March 5, 2012 3:50 pm at 3:50 pm #914335Think firstMemberYup great system if ur GOAL is date as many girls as he can!!
Succesful system?? NO! Not the least bit.
March 5, 2012 5:02 pm at 5:02 pm #914336charlie brownMemberpopa, I had to come out of the bunker to congratulate you on the funniest troll thread you’ve started in a while. But I’m disappointed that you claimed in the OP that a friend did this instead of saying you did it. You can’t take the heat anymore when people think you did something dolty?
back to the Starbucks bunker….
March 5, 2012 5:25 pm at 5:25 pm #914337popa_bar_abbaParticipantThat sounds idiotic. Just the “public-ness” of it makes it seem trashy.
Marriage is supposed to be a public and communal event. What do you mean “trashy”?
March 5, 2012 5:43 pm at 5:43 pm #914338popa_bar_abbaParticipantcharlie brown: Thanks.
You know the old story of the guy goes to his rav and says that his friend did a terrible aveirah, and wants to know what to do, but is too embarrassed to come to the rav.
The rav asks him why the friend couldn’t just come to the rav himself and pretend he was asking for his friend.
March 5, 2012 5:58 pm at 5:58 pm #914339yitayningwutParticipantlol
March 5, 2012 6:52 pm at 6:52 pm #914340☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantI would not be a bit surprised to hear that some irresponsible and immature guy (or girl, for that matter) would do this.
Probably more of a guy thing.
March 5, 2012 9:38 pm at 9:38 pm #914341No One Mourns The WickedMemberI’m glad we’ve established this was a joke bec lord…
March 5, 2012 11:00 pm at 11:00 pm #914342popa_bar_abbaParticipantYup great system if ur GOAL is date as many girls as he can!!
I should point out, that everyone I know who is married, is married to the last person they dated.
We can easily say that anyone who is single still has not dated the person they are going to marry, and should continue going out with more people until they meet that one.
So, I’m not exactly sure what your issue is.
March 6, 2012 3:00 am at 3:00 am #914343oomisParticipantThe rest of them are what they are. But oomis, you’re a veteran of the coffee room. Don’t you know Popa yet?”
I was being dan l’cuff shtuss…
March 6, 2012 4:22 am at 4:22 am #914344big dealParticipantpopa: Your logic is a bit faulty. There are plenty of instances where boy and girl have dated before and then picked back up after a while. In that case the boy would have already met girl.
Besides, Achasveirosh tried something close to this idea thousands of years ago. So you and your friend are pretty archaic 🙂
March 6, 2012 5:23 am at 5:23 am #914345Kshmo Kein HuMemberWhy is it funny to start troll threads?
The original post wasn’t even funny. Not as in because if it was true it would be sick, just as in that was a lame joke in any case.
Seems like a waste of time, why we even giving this attention?
Why am I even responding?
March 6, 2012 3:25 pm at 3:25 pm #914346popa_bar_abbaParticipantWhy is it funny to start troll threads?
It is pretty closed minded to assume that anything you don’t agree with is a troll thread.
March 6, 2012 4:08 pm at 4:08 pm #914347BTGuyParticipantHi PBA.
Please dont switch horses in mid stream and compare apples to oranges.
You were not talking about marriage.
You were talking about a guy who posts resumes of girls on his facebook and has gone out with over 200 girls in the past five years.
That, to me, is not only trashy, but heartbreaking. He has a lot of mechila to ask for.
“Seeking” ones beshert this way is just wrong. He seems to be too attached to his revolving door system and missing the point.
March 6, 2012 4:17 pm at 4:17 pm #914348popa_bar_abbaParticipantBesides, Achasveirosh tried something close to this idea thousands of years ago. So you and your friend are pretty archaic 🙂
And he got esther. Sounds good to me.
March 6, 2012 4:19 pm at 4:19 pm #914349popa_bar_abbaParticipantPlease dont switch horses in mid stream and compare apples to oranges.
I don’t understand, shouldn’t we try to use all arguments to reach the truth–not just the same ones over and over?
I would switch horses in mid stream, if there was a better horse available that I could switch to and it was worth switching even in the water.
And I would compare apples to oranges, and see what common elements I could pull out.
March 6, 2012 4:28 pm at 4:28 pm #914350soliekMemberpits
March 6, 2012 4:30 pm at 4:30 pm #914351BTGuyParticipantHi PBA.
An argument has to be about the same issue, and not another, new one. (an opinion on crowdsourcing versus marriage).
Sure you can try to find the truth and revise your view. That is admirable.
If you want to clarify, here is a reminder of the conversation:
1. I commented on the “system” in looking to become married, resulting in putting up resumes on facebook and dating over 200 girls in five years.
2. You replied to the effect that is not ‘marriage’ suppose to a public communal event?
While I am weak on yeshiva hock, what shychis does marriage being public have to do with criticizing the ‘means’ someone is employing to allegedly become married?
To me, that is not switching horses in midstream. That is just falling off the horse and landing in the water.
Anyway..hatzlacha to this guy. I hope the system works for him and he finds his beshert and does not need this “system”, and that in the meantime, he is not hurting people along the way.
March 6, 2012 4:32 pm at 4:32 pm #914352pascha bchochmaParticipantHe’s not married. Therefore, it failed.
And please, 200+ girls?! I doubt he wants to get married, and after that number has any idea what he’s looking for.
Just goes to show how desperate some girls are.
March 6, 2012 4:49 pm at 4:49 pm #914353big dealParticipant“And he got esther. Sounds good to me”
His marriage was also great. He didn’t see his wife in over 30 days although they were living in the same palace. He didn’t even know who is wife was. – These are all great segulos for Shalom Bayis 🙂
Maybe its not such a bad idea after all 🙂
October 3, 2012 4:00 am at 4:00 am #914354popa_bar_abbaParticipantOne of the girls asked him about this, because she read this thread.
So he said that it wasn’t really him. That really, it was popa who does this, but he let popa write that it was him, because popa didn’t want to write that it was himself.
And so she told the shadchan that, and the shadchan told popa’s wife that, and now popa has to make his own pizza tonight.
October 3, 2012 4:31 am at 4:31 am #914355PurimMashgiachMemberMy wife would never make me pizza. She thinks I’m obese.
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