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I’m having in mind that column they have in Family First about ‘Top 10 Things Your ______ Wishes You Knew’. I’d like to start one with little tidbits about camp and stuff counselors wish parents knew. I’d like other teens and adults who are counselors to add on. I’m a preschool counselor so mine will be from that angle, so if you work in another age group it would be helpful to include stuff for that age. Perhaps the parents on here will take heed…
I’ll start: (By the way, these are ALL real grievances I or my friends have had)
If your child is autistic, please TELL THE COUNSELOR (yes, this really happened to me).
If you can’t tip, I understand. Please just don’t ignore me. Mention briefly that money is tight or something, and write a cute note about how you appreciated what we did the whole summer. Otherwise I’ll think you just weren’t happy with how I did. (One of the best tips a friend of mine got, from a family who was experiencing financial difficulties, was a bag of homemade cookies.)
Even if you do tip, I love to get notes. Trust me, I will keep the note long after the tip money is spent.
DON’T POP IN!!! Please! Your child will be FINE. He just got used to being in an unfamiliar environment away from Mommy. We’ve got your number if anything goes wrong. If he sees you, I’m the one who’s going to suffer. (Especially prevalent in bungalow colonies.)
We are not responsible (and in fact are not allowed to) dispense medicine. If your child is sick, he or she should not go to camp. Period.
If you don’t want your kids eating sugar, then YOU provide an alternative. Otherwise your child WILL receive the standard lollies.
Please continue this, guys!
Parent feedback is also appreciated.
Excellent post! I was a counselor for many of my teenage years…..this really hits home, it’s so so true! If only parents can get this the first day of camp!
DON’T POP IN!!! Please! Your child will be FINE. He just got used to being in an unfamiliar environment away from Mommy. We’ve got your number if anything goes wrong. If he sees you, I’m the one who’s going to suffer. (Especially prevalent in bungalow colonies.)
+1,000,000,000,000,000,000,000
you make some very good points, but i think that it is a little much to ask someone who is tight on money to go and admit that to his child’s counselor. i would say though that it is important that when a parent comes on visiting day they make a point of talking to the counselor. i try my best not to have to call parents in middle to inform them about they’re child’s behavior. maybe it should be part of the visiting day activities: a parent-counselor meeting, because i don’t think that it is a coincidence that the i have never met the parent of the worst camper each year, even though they come and spend their entire day on camp grounds. also, even if you don’t think your child is a troublemaker, a change of surroundings can affect him. so please, make an effort to talk to your kids counselor (not with your child standing there). we already have a speech prepared and it is probably filled with interesting surprises. and about the tips, i say its all or nothing. either show me you appreciate with a bill that will cover my next off day, or a bag o homemade cookies with a note that says “sorry that they are a little burnt” (even if they aren’t). but when you hand me a 5 dollar bill and a curt thank you, that tells me that you don’t care at all and i would rather nothing.
how did the autistic boy deal with everything?
When your child says “I hate daycamp….” understand that that’s just what they say and (hopefully :)) don’t mean it-usually they don’t.
i always used to keep up appearances as a child pretending i didnt care, but i did. so the above comment is so true!!
Another long-time former camp counselor checking in to say that I agree with the OP. Well said!
The Wolf
Best if parents are fully informed of all tipping expectations before the first camp deposit is made.
Know that your child’s counselor and camp director work hard to provide fun, exciting and thoughtful activities. They love it when the parent gets excited about the activity too- as this excitement comes right back to the directors and counselors the next day in camp the moment the kid walks in…
also, if your child is a bedwetter…you are better off being up-front about it. The (sleepaway) counselor is going to figure that out pretty quickly anyways.
I also had a very difficult camper who I only recently discovered is autistic. Not that I’d have known anything about autism as a high schooler, but I wish I’d have been given more guidance instead of just assuming she’s cranky all the time and treating/disciplining her (IN)appropriately.
How about the senseless decision to send an epileptic child to camp without any indication or warning in the least. Right! This child had an attack on the last day, in full view.. Campers and staff went beserk, on-grounds medical personal had NO CLUE.. Hatzola were rushed.. TERRIBLY IRRESPONSIBLE!!
regarding tips, as a day camp counselor of many years, i cannot stress the importance of showing appreciation. Money is not the only way. A parent who worked in pearls gave their childs counselor a gorgeous black pearl necklace! I once got a watch. But what lasts most, as mentioned before is a simple card. I have all my cards, which add up to over a hundred, in my scrap book and it means alot! If you can give money, thats great. If you cant, just say thank you!
Now, as a mother in a tight financial status, I cant give alot. But I always send a warm thank you card with some money. Between busdrivers, therapists, teachers, bus counselors, and asst teachers, its just too much to give alot to all. I’m dreading the mandatory huge tips for Rebbeim when my son has a rebbe. I believe that Rebbeim are underpaid and work hard and are deserving of tips but mandatory huge tips are out of control…
Things parents wish counselors knew: (sorry to high jack this thread)
When we drop off or kids, if you’re not warm and engaging, and attempting to involve them in play to help them adjust, we question whether you know how to take care of kids (adjustment is hard and they need counselors who sense that and dive in to help them)
We worry that you get so busy, that you forget or neglect to change their diaper frequently enough
When you’re really young, it concerns us, but when you’re warm and loving it can make up for that.
A note about how our kids are doing can go a really long way in giving us confidence that you’re watching them well (ie: making friends, playing with others, eating, general mood).
Note to counselors. You are not in camp to have fun, you are in camp to ensure that your campers have fun. Hopefully, you will have fun fulfilling your obligations.
something like
Parents to Counselors: We’re about to spend half of our year’s salary on your professional care…
1)make sure your child will eat the food you send with them – I have had kids come to me saying “I dont have any food and im hungry”
2)send your kids with snacks at snack time they feel very bad when they see all the other kids with their snacks and they dont have
3) tell us if ur child has any allergies preferably write it down on a piece of paper for us if there are multiple things – i had a camper last year who was allergic to what seemed like everything and i felt bad when i would forget and ask if she wanted ‘blank’
4)if your child was only toilet trained in the past few monthes please send a change of clothes (we had to use a kids shirt last year when he had an accident because there was no other option)
5)Get ur children excited for day camp lots of times all they want is to do other things and dont want to participate in activities- this is super hard for us to deal with kids who don’t want to do anything
1. If you’re the kind of parent who is disappointed in their kids when they do things that aren’t even their fault, I can pick up on that. Those are the kids who aren’t going to tell their parents about things that are bothering them for fear of disappointing them. And that’s who I molest.
what is a molester doing in the cr
PBA: So very true.
ps I like (!?) your unique style of getting your point across.
Bump
coming from the sleepaway camp angle (more specifically 9-10 yr olds)
*if your child takes medication, it’s not enough for the nurse to know. i need to know as well. i’ll be discreet, but don’t expect your 9 year old to remember to go get her meds every time, or to tell me herself.
*as has been mentioned, i will notice if your child is a bed wetter. letting me know beforehand lets me make sure she gets a bed on a lower bunk near the bathroom, and to know to wake her up a bit earlier in case she has to clean up. at the same time, i’m not going to question her if she needs her laundry done. at age 10 i expect that she’d rather come tell me that she needs her laundry done than for me to ask her every morning. (obviously this depends on the child.)
*if your child has social problems, or there’s something going on at home, i will find out eventually, so i’d rather you were honest and upfront with me and tell me so that if a situation arises, i knwo how to deal with it. no, i will not treat her differently, and no, i will not do anything with the information. but it’s important that i know. you woulnd’t believe the things these kids discuss, yes, even your 9 and 10 year olds. case in point, i had a camper whose parent got remarried over the summer, another who’s parents had just recently divorced, another whose brother was sick, and several other similar issues. when these kids are talking about pple being sick, or pple dying, or when they get hysterical because one parent came and not the other on visiting day, it helps me deal with the situation if i know WHAT i’m dealing with.
from the day camp angle (5-6 year olds)while at sleep away camp
*if you run the camp, and your kid constantly runs away, and you give him a popsicle every time, please don’t blame me if he continues running away
*if you’ve been in camp all summer, then yes, by the time i come for the last month, your kid will be camped out. he wants home, and he wants mommy. understand that second session is a lot more difficult than first, and it’s not a lack on our part
*just because your child says he hates day camp doesn’t mean a thing :)you should see him when he’s in daycamp. but please don’t come visit-he’s impossible then cuz mommy’s there to protect him
*when i invite your kids to play freeze tag with me after supper, or cops and robbers or hide and seek on shabbos or other times after my hours, please understand that this is something i offer because i love your kids and don’t mind doing. but telling them to go find me/come to my bunkhouse is not appropriate. i do my best to be the best counselor i can, but i need down time in order to do so. while i’m happy to play, outside of daycamp hours, please, lets do it on my terms, and be respectful of my privacy.
*i can’t shadow and be a counselor for other kids at the same time. i tried that once, it didn’t work out that great…
*yes i know your sister/brother/nephew/cousin/neighbor/kid that youre a motehr’s helper for/random staff kid friend is adorable. he is, and i won’t deny it for a second. but PLEASE do NOT come visit with all your friends in middle of daycamp to go show him off. in fact, please don’t come visit. it’s incredibly disruptive, and throws everyone off. you really wanna bond with him? put him to bed or go play with him on shabbos. not when he’s playing quite happily, or even if he’s crying.
*if you see your child crying, keep in mind that if this was daycamp anywhere else-you wouldn’t see him. you’ve entrusted your child to my care for the day. please let me deal with it. if i can’t handle it, i’ll let you know. honest. but for all you knwo he’s crying because he bit another kid and i sent him to timeout…
this for everyone:
*i’m a counselor because i love kids. i might not know yours at the beginning of the summer, but once i get to know them, i’ll come to love them as well. i do my best to give them the best summer that i can. i can’t promise that they’ll have an amazing summer because i can’t control everything. i want what’s best for your kids and i want us to be on the same page. please tell me everything that you think i hsould know, and if not me, than someone in camp so that when situations arise, somebody can deal with them fittingly. we all just want to give your kids the best summer. please help us do that. work with us, not against us. and while yes, you should listen to your kids, and if they say someone or something is bothering them in camp-let us know!!!-at the same time, bear in mind that they may not be saying the hwole situation. you trusted me to watch your kid. please trust my judgment. and when you see me on visiting day, don’t say things against me or about me to your kid. it’s not fair…
basically, work with us, and know your child-some kids are NOT READY for camp just because you want them out of the house. and they’ll have a miserable summer, no matter what we do…
have a great summer everyone!!! 😀
1. If you’re the kind of parent who is disappointed in their kids when they do things that aren’t even their fault, I can pick up on that. Those are the kids who aren’t going to tell their parents about things that are bothering them for fear of disappointing them. And that’s who I molest.
I am shocked that someone would be so brazen as to write this. But it certainly is true. If you are that type of parent, you should no way send your kid to camp, or school, or anything.
Blast that, you shouldn’t be a parent.
Popa
You couldn’t get your point across without calling yourself a molester?
You couldn’t get your point across without calling yourself a molester?
Not only that, I had to do it twice.
Yeah. You must have really been desperate for some attention at that time.
Yeah. You must have really been desperate for some attention at that time.
I know. And I really appreciate that you were so accommodating with it.
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