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Why did the Irish man die while drinking milk?
Because the cow sat down…
Paddy orders himself a pizza the guy at the counter asks him, ”Would you like your pizza cut in 6 or 8 slices?”
Paddy replies, ”6 as i can’t possiably eat 8!”
I asked Paddy ”why are you putting an empty bottle of milk in the fridge?”
He replied: ”Some people like their coffee black!”
hehe
I don’t get the last one.
Sorry i find these jokes to be offensive. How would u feel if there was an irish website that displayed jewish jokes?
Goq, you most definitely have a point overhere.
maybe you should post some jewish jokes over there…LOl;p!!
oneofmany- black coffee doesnt need milk….. please say you get it now….!
Goq, in this case i totally agree with you. I knew you would speak up about something like this.
Mods? Is anyone reading the content before it gets posted?
Trollala?!?
‘Paddy, can you play the piano?’
Paddy: ‘I don’t know, I’ve never tried’
*shrug*. And I find the hundreds of jokes that denigrate marriage in the other thread to be highly offensive. And some will find the many jokes that make fun of women, blonds, etc. offensive. There are precious few jokes around that nobody would find offensive.
It seems to me that every culture must have it’s dumb person jokes.
I agree with Goq. I think it’s best that we not be offensive to anyone.
The fact that the op is Irish is of little importance, I think we with our history of being the most persecuted nation in history we should be extra sensitive in how we speak of other nations, when i look back at american history from the 50s and 60s it makes me proud that so many of the people leading the charge in the civil rights movement were jewish they marched with them and protested a few of them lost their lives fighting for the rights of another persecuted nation.
Everyone makes jokes about the irish, no one really thinks their dumb, its just the way its done, no one takes offence.
crazybrit: you should have some irish jokes……!!!
Nope, still don’t get it.
” Sorry i find these jokes to be offensive. “
I agree. This has no place in the CR. It should be removed.
baloochi: good jokes, I don’t know what some peoples issues are with good jokes?
another,
Paddy’s walking down the road shlepping a wardrobe, Shamus asks him: why don’t you get Murphy to help you? paddy answers: he’s inside carrying the clothes!
Paddy is standing on a ladder painting the ceiling.
Murphey asked him: “Paddy, are you holding tight onto the brush?”
Paddy: “Yes, why?”
Murphey: “Then I can take the ladder away for a few minutes”!
Hey, can you explain that last one to me? I’m kind of curious…
Baloochi its not banter its called treating others as you would like to be treated, respect is a two way street if we do nothing but mock and insult the gentiles why should we expect them to treat us with any respect?
Goq – Who’s insulting gentiles? Who told you Paddy isn’t Jewish?
OneOfMany – lol, what are you so perplexed about?
I think I’m missing something…is there something with Irish people and milk or is it just trying to show that Irish people are dumb?
yitay 99.9 percent of irish men are gentile believe what you want.
According to the census of 2006, there are 1,930 Jews in the Republic of Ireland. (1,581 in 1991 and 1,790 in 2002).
thanks to wikipedia for this info.
Goq, I sort of agree with you. But I also think that anything inherently insulting in this type of joke is obviated by the fact that you can usually substitute the nationality/race/sex/whatever in question with anything else and it will be the exact same joke. For instance, I’ve heard the OP’s #2 before as a blonde joke. Same goes for yo’ mama jokes.
I don’t think it shows they are dumb. This is a certain kind of corny humor which simply needs a protagonist, and is intended good naturedly. I do hear Goq’s point that it might, perhaps, in some way, seem as though we are denigrating gentiles. So let’s use Rosh Yeshivas instead, because Rosh Yeshivas often say really corny things.
This is a true story: My Rosh Yeshiva was once pulled over for going the wrong way down a one-way street. When the cop said to him “You know this is a one-way street sir, don’t you?” he replied, in all innocence, “but sir, I was only going one way!”
yitay: Perhaps OOM is Irish.
Heh heh. Perhaps.
I’m not. I’m Polish, actually. 🙂
I don’t have a problem with it showing that they are dumb, and I don’t think it’s done in ill-humor at all. I’m not coming from the politically correct perspective. I just think that plug-in-a-subject-and-tack-on-a-corny-punchline jokes just lose their inherent humor. Your Rosh Yeshiva joke is funny, though (I guess by the same token). 🙂
(Of course, this all has nothing to do with the fact that I still don’t get the joke.)
oneofmany, black coffee does not require milk so someone who drinks black coffee could use an empty milk container for their coffee… really not worth the explanation.
I think OneOfMany gets it and she’s having a good laugh on the other side of the screen at all of us trying to explain it.
I understand that.
No no no, I really don’t get it. I’m actually trying to figure out if there’s something funny with Irish people and dairy products that I don’t know about. (Is that it?)
Lol 🙂
Baloochi,
As an Irish Jew, do you buy your whiskey on sale?
Or was it only coincidence that that the first three jokes all revolved around dairy products and I’m really reading too much into this aren’t I.
BALOOCHI, change it to JEW/IRISH/GEORDIE/TROLL/PAKI/POLISHER ETC.
just to keep everyone happy!
@ yitayningwut: i like the rosh yeshiva story!
r’ m. nissel has a similar story – he’s british and he got pulled over in the states for going down a one-way the wrong way. he told the cop “so sorry, i’m from england. we drive on the opposite side of the road.” he says the cop looked confused and just mumbled that he should be more careful in the future.
A man is driving along in the Irish
countryside, when he comes to a petrol
station, since he’s in need of petrol, the
man decides to stop. He says to the
attendant at the station, “Fill it up, will
you?”. The man says “Sorry – we’re
right out of petrol.” So the man
considers, and says “Well, I’m a bit low
on oil, would you mind topping that
up?” And the attendant
responds”Sorry, but no oil either.” The
man thinks, and asks the attendant to
wash his windscreen, to which he gets
the by-now predictable response that
he can’t do that. The man at this point
is fairly mad, so he asks the attendant
“Just what kind of petrol station is
this ?” The attendant then looks both
ways, and very carefully whispers to
the man “To tell you the truth, this is
just an IRA front.”
The man then says “Well, in that case,
you can blow up the tyres !”
“Hey,” said a new arrival in the pub,
“I’ve got some great Irish jokes.”
“Before you start,” said the big bloke in
the corner, “, I’m Irish.”
“Don’t worry,” said the newcomer, “I’ll
tell them slowly.”
Two Irishmen were sitting in a four
engined plane flying back from a
shopping trip to Paris when the
captains voice came over the
loudspeaker. “Ladies and Gentlemen,
one of the engines appears to have
failed. There’s nothing to worry about
but we will be 15 minutes late in
landing at Gatwick.”
Five minutes later he said, “Nothing to
worry about, ladies and Gentlemen,
but one of the other engines has failed,
and we will now be an hour late.”
A moment later, “Er…sorry about this
ladies and gentlemen, but the third
engine has also given up the ghost and
we will now be two hours later than
expected.”
One of the Irishmen tapped his friend
on the shoulder. “Good heavens,
Patrick, do you realise that if the other
engine fails, we’ll be here all night ?”
Gallagher opened the morning
newspaper and was dumbfounded to
read in the obituary column that he
had died. He quickly phoned his best
friend Finney.
“Did you see the paper?” asked
Gallagher. “They say I died!!”
“Yes, I saw it!” replied Finney. “Where
are you callin’ from?”
Higgins lived in Staten Island, New
York, and worked in Manhattan. He
had to take the ferryboat home every
night. One evening, he got down to the
ferry and found there was a wait for
the next boat, So Higgins decided to
stop at a nearby tavern. Before long he
was feeling no pain.
When he got back to the ferry slip, the
ferryboat was just eight feet from the
dock. Higgins, afraid of missing this one
and being late for dinner, took a
running leap and landed right on the
deck of the boat.
“How did you like that jump, buddy?”
said a proud Higgins to a deck hand.
“It was great,” said the sailor. “But why
didn’t you wait? We were just pulling
in!”
Liam had left Dublin to go up to Belfast
for a bit of skydiving, Late Sunday
evening he was found in tree by a
farmer. What happened said the
farmer, Liam replied, that his
parachute failed to open, well said the
farmer if you had of asked the locals
before you jumped, they would have
told you nothing opens here on a
Sunday.
An English man and an Irish man are
driving head on , at night, on a twisty,
dark road. Both are driving to fast for
the conditions and collide on a sharp
bend in the road. To the amazement of
both, they are unscathed, though their
cars are both destroyed. In celebration
of their luck, both agree to put aside
their dislike for the other from that
moment on. At this point, the Englishman goes to the boot and fetches a 12
year old bottle of Jameson whiskey. He
hands the bottle to the Irish man,
whom exclaims,” may the English and
the Irish live together forever, in peace,
and harmony.” The Irish man then
tips the bottle and lashes half of it
down. Still flabbergasted over the
whole thing, he goes to hand the bottle
to the Englishman, whom replies: ” no
thanks, I’ll just wait till the police get
here!”
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