Home › Forums › Decaffeinated Coffee › Intimidated by men who know so much
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January 19, 2012 3:34 am at 3:34 am #601699skiaddictMember
Its weird and all but i feel like all these men on here that know so much stuff, like in a second they can quote meforshim in the whole gemoro, are amazing, its a bit intimidating(not in a bad way)i feel like i dare not argue with them cos they are so amazing and know so much more than me.
What i mean is that i respect them for being so knowledgeble, and feel inadequate compared. Do any other women feel like that or do i just get impressed too easily?
Similar point, also by a shiur, i have huge respect for the rov because he knows so much stuff that i will never. But today i was thinking that i disagreed with something a rov said but i told myself i betta just accept because he is way above me and knows betta. Im sure there is something wrong with my reasoning but cant figure out.
January 19, 2012 3:51 am at 3:51 am #845061always runs with scissors fastParticipantYeah, I am impressed when I see their discussions going on. But its more like the picture that comes to my mind is of just how many years were put into being able to know that knowledge of Torah. How many years of dedication they sat in cheyder, yeshiva etc.
But I have no idea what they are talking about.
January 19, 2012 3:59 am at 3:59 am #845062sternbergerMemberi feel like that also, but it might be that we both are impressed to easily… 😉
u need 2 follow ur rovs psak, but if theres a diff psak u might just be thinking of it when u said that u disagree w/ ur rov
January 19, 2012 4:01 am at 4:01 am #845063squeakParticipantSee, this is why we have a shidduch crisis. The girls are simply not good enough for the guys, thats why they are left in the cold
January 19, 2012 4:37 am at 4:37 am #845064Sam2ParticipantHow do you know? This is an anonymous forum. All of the really knowledgeable people here might be girls.
January 19, 2012 4:44 am at 4:44 am #845065NechomahParticipantI’m always impressed with how much the men know and I know that my tafkid is not to know gemorah like they do but to know the issues pertinent to my life. There’s a ton that you can learn if you want and it’s the women who know so much that really impress me. They did it while still making/building their houses. Truly amazing.
Squeak, do you want to know as much as your husband? Shouldn’t he be the rov of the house (and know when to go to his rov to ask shailos)? I think part of the shidduch crisis is that the girls know too much and we don’t know when to just listen – we want to voice our opinion too. The men don’t always like that. The biggest trick in finding the right shidduch I think is to find a man who is willing to take your feelings into account. This is what I was advised when I was dating my husband. My rebbetzin asked me if he would take me into consideration when deciding on a new chumra for the house or would he just barge forward. There are chumras that the man can take upon himself without forcing his wife to do the same (like not carrying on Shabbos even if there is an eruv) and there are chumras that will require a lot of extra work on her part so he should take that into consideration when deciding how to implement keeping that chumra.
January 19, 2012 4:50 am at 4:50 am #845066yitayningwutParticipantSam2 –
+1
lol
January 19, 2012 4:51 am at 4:51 am #845067ZeesKiteParticipantWomen too can throw around pas and shoskim, randomly. How about my Shor Shenagach for women? Maybe we start a shiur of the women, by the women, for the women?
January 19, 2012 4:55 am at 4:55 am #845068OneOfManyParticipantI think squeak must be an inherently girly word. There’s no other explanation for this.
January 19, 2012 5:03 am at 5:03 am #845069chelsealewMemberI Personally feel that yes, if a rav says a psak Halacha, there’s no reason to argue against it since it’s Halacha, but when a rav says something that is just a matter of opinion, one is entitled to argue. And you shouldn’tbe intimidated by intellectual men. You don’t need that much intellect to Have an opinion and argue it.
January 19, 2012 5:19 am at 5:19 am #845070MDGParticipantskiaddict said:
“But today i was thinking that i disagreed with something a rov said but i told myself i betta just accept because he is way above me and knows betta. “
The next time you should respectfully ask. If you are wrong you will learn a little more as you hear an explanation. If you are right, then you can bring someone to the truth. Do not assume infallibility.
Besides which, a Rav learns more when he is questioned as he has to think clearly about what he is saying.
January 19, 2012 5:39 am at 5:39 am #845071OneOfManyParticipantSam2, yitayningwut, is there something you’d like to confess…? XD
January 19, 2012 5:48 am at 5:48 am #845072sam4321ParticipantLike MDG said there is nothing wrong with asking in a respectful manner.
Just to add, there are things that women do that are extremely impressive taking care of kids, cleaning, cooking, helping with homework, and working a job while their at it .
January 19, 2012 6:15 am at 6:15 am #845073chocandpatienceMember“Squeak, do you want to know as much as your husband?”
Hee hee! This is not the first time.
January 19, 2012 1:08 pm at 1:08 pm #845074skiaddictMemberYeah Zeeskite lets start a womens shiur! BUT i dunno whos gonna give it! Maybe one of the fake men!!!
MDG- im talking about in middle of a public shiur where its not always possible to ask questions, can i disagree in my head?
January 19, 2012 2:09 pm at 2:09 pm #845075It’s not the quantity of the knowledge, but the quality, and, even more, what you do with it.
Personally I wasn’t frum my whole life and my knowledge is rather limited – particulary gemoro-wise. But that doesn’t bother me, since I have plenty of knowledge (though I always strive to learn more) and I have sufficient knowledge to be able to find whatever I want to find.
Wisdom compensates quite well for lack of knowledge, and wisdom is something you have, or don’t have.
January 19, 2012 2:47 pm at 2:47 pm #845076WIYMemberSkiaddict
If the Rabbi quotes a sefer and you disagree, you need a valid reason Halachic or Hashkafic for disagreeing. You can’t just disagree because you don’t like what he said.
January 19, 2012 3:58 pm at 3:58 pm #845077BTGuyParticipantHi skiaddict.
I am with you on that, and I am a guy.
The women, too, can talk the talk and walk the walk as well.
It’s pretty awesome to read and I learn a lot, and they all deserve tremendous respect.
I wish there was a yeshiva I could go to where I did not have to leave what I do for a few months. Otherwise, I remind myself that I do spend a lot of time learning, on my level, and have come very far, BH, from where I was.
There is SO much to know and many people who know SO much. I feel blessed to find real Judaism.
January 19, 2012 11:26 pm at 11:26 pm #845078bptParticipant“men on here that know so much stuff”
One word: Google. Ok, two words: Wikipidia as well.
80% of what I know, was aquired by reading and listening to those who knew more than I do.
The remaining 20% (or more importantly,the 20% I need to launch a compelling case) is the result of a web search, culling the info that’s out there, and coming to a conclusion that I feel I can stand behind.
I may not have all the answers, but I know where to look for them.
January 20, 2012 12:36 am at 12:36 am #845079yitayningwutParticipantOneOfMany – lol, not anytime soon.
January 20, 2012 3:14 am at 3:14 am #845080WIYMemberSam2
” How do you know? This is an anonymous forum. All ofthe really knowledgeable people here might be girls.”
This is an anonymous forum. All ofthe really knowledgeable people here might be the same person with many screen names.
January 20, 2012 9:20 pm at 9:20 pm #845081Bar ShattyaMemberMen just know how to google better
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