Inspiration/Personal stories regarding Shidduchim

OK I know someone who met his wife on a singles shabbaton where there were a range of Jews religiously speaking MO to Yeshivish, BT and FFB, etc. So much so that there was some activities that were not for everybody for instance they had Motzai Shabbos square dancing. He opted out and went to the hotel lobby and just stared at the fireplace there when suddenly a female voice asked him, “Are they really supposed to be doing that downstairs?” She meant the mixed dancing, anyway they started talking and it turned into his shidduch/beshert. – I thought(when I heard the story) wow all the ones who would say why not try it, it’s not disco you have to put in hishtadlus for your shidduch no it turned out the right hishtadlus was keeping shtark and true to your derech.

Hatzlacha to all singles may you find shidduchim hagonim b’karov.

I know two people who got engaged in the past number of weeks that, for different reasons, were likely not at the top of a shadchans list. G-d has a different list.

I am -at the moment

I love the way you wrote that. Its so… optimistic.

Good thread, btw.

*kapusta*

Hi photogenic.

Oh, no problem. Your post was well thought out and had a positive spin on an topic that is important, but too many times filled with expressions of frustration. I wanted to read what people had to say. Already, I think your post is benefitting its’ readers. Thank you!

Hi littleapple.

Thank you for sharing that story. There is a lot in there that I found encouraging. And it’s true….yet so easy to get frustrated over: stay true to your derech and what is suppose to happen will happen. Maybe we get in our own way by trying to bend, mold, and fit in to our idea of who we should look for and how we should present ourselves. Keeping it real seems to be the best way to go and your example underscores that well.

Hi Think first.

That sounds like a good idea.

You know, posting in a moderated forum like this is not the worst way to get to begin to know someone.

Hi littleapple.

In fact, I was thinking about what you posted on the way home from work yesterday and I have to say that was a really nice story you related. It had a simple purity to it that I found moving (in a masculine way.lol)

Thanks for what you said about my posts. I appreciate that.

Have a great Shabbos!

: D

I know people who got married, because they went onto Frumster, and after they were engaged & married, various people who had known both sides exclaimed they simply had never thought up this match, but what an incredibly great match. ….. Meanwhile the couples who met on Frumster saved an arm & a leg in Shadchonus fees.

BTW:- Anyone & everyone in this coffee room is computer literate, and hence anyone reading this thread is capable of registering & going online on Frumster, with zero exceptions & zero excuses.

I was asked to work at a new camp program for kids with disabilities (completely secular environment). The director said they needed me full time and not to even think of taking early Fridays to travel for shidduchim. I was thrilled. After 6 years I got a whole month off of dating!!! I hated dating and because I grew up MO and became more yeshivish-ish I was considered a BT by the yeshivish guys and FFB by the BT’s. I was often fixed up with people waaaaay off from where I was holding. (I would travel to NY but only to date other OOTers) One of the male counselors was a border of the director. They talked him into working for them at the last minute, for the month before he left for Israel to learn. He was in cut offs and t-shirts and I had no idea what his story was (I was dating BMG guys). As time went on I realized this guy was more “frum” than I thought and was shtarker than my friends and I. He just hadn’t been ready to make that uniform change. Needless to say, four weeks later, without even a single date, I knew who my ‘other half’ was. If you saw how he was dressed when I met him you would NEVER have redt him to me. And I never would have said yes. Hashem certainly has his ways.

Kol hakavod!

Its about time more people startd thinking out of the box..

or perhaps what will everyone say!?

a lot of MAZELand BRACHA!

The Ben Ish Chai brings a story about SHidduchim:

A carpenter called Avrohom living in Yerushalayim had a large sum of money stolen from his house one night by a thief. The thief escaped to Ein Gedi desert, where he got lost and died of thirst. A guy called Eliyahu was touring Ein Gedi, found a Meis Mitzvah and buried him, taking the money for himself, before returning home to Bnei Brak and hiding the money in a hollow tree in his garden.

That day, his father died, and he forgot about the money. During the shiva week, a big storm uprooted the trees all over the neighborhood.

After the Shiva, it was Eliyahu’s job to provide money for the family, and he traveled to Jerusalem, looking for a job. He was hired as an apprentice by none other than … Avraham the Carpenter.

Avraham went to collect lumber from the lake, where all the fallen trees were lying. He opened up one, and found his money, lying in it’s original wallet. He told Eliyahu the miraculous story of how his money stolen from him was returned in a tree. Eliyahu told him HIS part of the story.

Avrohom insisted that Eliyahu should take the money, but Eliyahu refused. So, suspecting that Eliyahu was embarrased to take the money, he asked his wife to bake a cake and hide the money inside, and gave it to Eliyahu before Eliyahu’s holiday.

Eliyahu unsuspectingly took the cake, and rode on his horse and wagon out of Jerusalem. A border guard searched his carriage, saw the cake and asked to buy it. Eliyahu sold it to him.

Meanwhile, the guard went and gave the cake as a wedding gift that night… and you can guess who made the wedding. Avraham the CArpenter.

The conclusion was that Avraham, so impressed by the boy’s middos and charm, suggested that Eliyahu marry his daughter, and the happy couple took the money… and lived happily ever after…

INSPIRATIONAL???

Thanks SiDi, it’s been 21 years. By the time he finished his months in yeshiva the cut offs (and grateful dead t-shirts) were history but I know I myself never would have grown an inch had I not married a BT in ‘growing mode’. As I think back I remember that I did alot by rote, I never learned alot about the musser and philosophy behind the mitzvos. I was so awed by how much he understood and the explanations he could give me for why certain things would bring you closer to Hashem. And during all that, in the back of my mind, I was still wanting to rush him into some of the outer changes that would make him look more like everyone else. Shame on me, I know. B”H I knew I was wrong and Hashem rewarded my patience with his changes, and my knowing how unimportant they really were.

Sorry for veering off course – – – you may proceed.

My husband & I are from similar backgrounds & met in the most ordinary way. Shidduch, shadchan, some dates, nothing at all extraordinary. I will not bore all of you with details of our subsequent marriage & years together. My point being- we don’t need to see amazing instances of unbelievable circumstances involving split-second timing & phenomenal happenings, to recognize and be inspired by G-d’s intervention in our daily lives. Every successful shidduch & marriage is an inspiration, and could not have occurred without Hashgacha that we may or may not distinguish.

golfer, you are right. Yet hearing stories about Hashacha Protis (any, for that matter) can help strengthen one’s Emunah. Especially by Shidduchim, where people find it very hard and don’t know why its taking so long, to hear stories where people went through the same (aggravating) process and you can see Yad Hashem, it can really give a boost of Chizuk.

You can always see Hashem in everything. Even the most “natural” thing. We just have to open our eyes…

SiDi™

I figured, as it has happened to me as well. They do post it and then remove it sometimes but maybe they thought I was so funny that they left it there. I thought of your recent shidduch under this catagory as well.

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