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When you name your children, what criteria do you like to use:
1. Do you tend to give them one name or two (i.e., Reuven ben…, or Ruven Shimon ben…)?
2. Do you tend to name after relatives or great Torah scholars?
3. Would you name a boy after a female relative? I won’t ask the other way around, since it’s clear this is not a good idea (kedusha should go upwards).
4. Would you name a child after a non-choshuv relative (some will do this, but will have a different more choshuv person in mind when actually doing the naming. It matters not what you tell your relatives in terms of who the baby is named after – you know the truth)
5. And do you give you children English names? If you only give them one Hebrew name, would you give them an English middle name?
Each of my kids has 2 names.
For my son, we had a relative we wanted to name him after, but we also had a name we really wanted to use. Since the two names go well together, and there have been rabbonim who had those two names, we gave him two names.
For my daughter, we were originally planning on only giving her one name. However, the relative we were naming her after died somewhat young. In such cases, some people hold a name should be added. We asked our Rav, and he told us to add a name. We picked out the name ourselves, not after anybody. It was a name that expressed some of our feelings at the time.
As for your #3 question: was the person chashuv? My grandfather, in my mind, was very chashuv. He went through Auschwitz and remained frum. He raised children who are frum and have frum children. He was a businessman who had a reputation of being 100% honest. That’s chashuv enough for me.
We call our son by his Hebrew name, On his birth certificate, it has the English version – to use the classic CR example, if his name is Yosef, it says Joseph on the paperwork. No, my son is not the infamous Joseph!
For my daughter, we call her what the relative was called. It’s not exactly the Hebrew or the English, it’s somewhere in between.
“Kedusha should go upwards.” What do you mean by that please explain.
I know of a family who had a Yospa to name after. Some gave boys, Yosef, some gave girls Yospa, and some changed it to Yosepha. According to you it would be wrong to take Yosef and change it back into Yospa??
Yeah, what exactly do you mean by “kedusha should go upwards”?
We gave all our kids two names – their Jewish names are exactly the same in English, so no secular names were given.
2. “Do you tend to name after relatives or great Torah scholars?”
I did both. My youngest son actually WAS specifically named for one of our arguably greatest Torah scholars AND also for a family member who was a Rosh Yeshivah.
3. “Would you name a boy after a female relative?”
Probably not, but it is a moot point for me.
“I won’t ask the other way around, since it’s clear this is not a good idea (kedusha should go upwards).”
HUH?????????
4.”Would you name a child after a non-choshuv relative (some will do this, but will have a different more choshuv person in mind when actually doing the naming. It matters not what you tell your relatives in terms of who the baby is named after – you know the truth)”
Everyone is choshuv, but I know what you meant. My father-in-law O”H was not a frum man, but he was one of the biggest Baalei Chessed I have ever been privileged to know. He was niftar shortly before my son’s first son was born, and they named the baby a first name that stands for Yerushalayim, and gave him my shver’s name for his middle name.
5.”And do you give you children English names? If you only give them one Hebrew name, would you give them an English middle name?’
Nope. I never gave secular names to my own children. What my children decide to do for THEIR children, is their decision. One child did give a secular English name, the other child chose to keep the Hebrew first name as her child’s secular name. In the case of the children who were given secular names, those names mostly reflect the Hebrew, i.e., if the Hebrew name were Dovid, the secular one would be David.
1. Do you tend to give them one name or two (i.e., Reuven ben…, or Ruven Shimon ben…)?
Two of my kids have two names. The other has three.
2. Do you tend to name after relatives or great Torah scholars?
We named after relatives who were very special to us or others in the family.
3. Would you name a boy after a female relative? I won’t ask the other way around, since it’s clear this is not a good idea (kedusha should go upwards).
No.
4. Would you name a child after a non-choshuv relative (some will do this, but will have a different more choshuv person in mind when actually doing the naming. It matters not what you tell your relatives in terms of who the baby is named after – you know the truth)
Depends on your definition of “choshuv.” None of the people we named our kids after were rabbanim. Some weren’t even frum. Yet, they were all “choshuv” and special to us.
5. And do you give you children English names? If you only give them one Hebrew name, would you give them an English middle name?
Our children’s legal names are their Hebrew ones. Those are the ones on their birth certificates.
The Wolf
So what are Walter, George, and Wilma’s full names?
So what are Walter, George, and Wilma’s full names?
Mitty, of the Jungle and Flintstone.
The Wolf
I love it how all the females who posted have a problem with “kedusha should go upwards”
you never ever ever say that to a female
Wolf – love it!
One of my grandfathers was ‘tamid b’simcha’ but he was raised frum and left, was very into prust humor and as much as he was wonderful, and loved, I was worried about naming a son after him. I wanted very much to give kavod to my mother who was his favorite girl. I agonized about it but when my son was born on his birthday (two weeks after he was due) I felt it was what Hashem wanted. His name was Yirachmiel, which my mom assumed was for her father. To me it was a bracha that Hashem should have rachamim on people in situations like mine!
“I won’t ask the other way around, since it’s clear this is not a good idea (kedusha should go upwards).”
I see many have asked why he wrote that. I, too, have an issue with it. But I don’t need to ask what he means by it. IT’S KIND OF OBVIOUS! And apparently coffee feels the same way about women!
Certain gedolim were makpid that their children only have one name. My rav has children with 2 names, so I’m not. I have seen halachos that you can name a girl after a boy but not a boy after a girl. Can’t quote a source for it now, but I did see it. As always, ask your lor.
beged eisha
Gefen,
I’m not getting into the argument just pointing out something,
I realize he said that to stir the pot
What do you think about giving three names??
i have three names
we know a few ppl with four names! can anyone beat that? i’m sure if ya think about it…
coffee, then i’m sorry i accused you.
Is Zeeskite one name, or two?
What do you think about giving three names??
As I mentioned above, one of my children has three names.
The Wolf
zk – it’s like a picture – worth a thousand words (all good – of course)
Gefen, (!!!) Thanks!
so zk – i guess you win! nobody else has a thousand names. 🙂
Naming has a long history in kabbalah-oriented texts, especially among the chassidei ashkenaz of 800 years ago. As time went on, it accrued more and more mystical significance, especially among the chassidim after the 1700s. In the past few generations, and still today, it has attained the status of mythical, life-defining proportions. In my opinion, this emphasis has been exponentially exaggerated and needs to be put into normal perspective.
It is ok to name a male after a female and a female after a male. One name is ok, two is ok, three is ok, and so on. The name does not determine the future of the child. One should name a child with seichel and consideration for others. Past that, it doesn’t really make a difference.
About the whole idea of not naming a girl after a male got me thnking of something I heard. I once heard that a person’s last gilgul comes as a women since that is the highest form one can achieve, or something like that…
But, I don’t really hear much about girls being named after a male.
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