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These past two years have been filled with klalos for me and my family. 5 hospitalizations for me. My wife miscarried. My father was suddenly niftar. I was incredibly successful once making mid six figures but I am now disabled, in debt up to my eyeballs, no insurance for my family (I am on medicare) and although I try and get very close to success, ALL of my endeavors have fallen though. I was just working on a project for the past month on spec and was just informed that the company passed though it was a near sure thing.
I am at my wits end and it is affecting me profoundly. I am angry and feel like Hashem has turned away from me. My mazel is gone.
I tried changing my name per a Rebbe. My Rav got very mad at me and made me change it back.
I cannot afford to have my mezuzzas checked though I am pretty sure they are good.
Any thoughts? Advice? I say tehillim. I say extra tefillos. I do not cheat, steal or rob. I try and live my life al pi Torah but I am sinking fast and in great despair. My family is worried about me. I don’t know what to do.
Yehuda Tzvi i am very sorry to hear about all your troubles, may you get a yeshua very soon and a complete refuah shleimah.
I’m sure that you can get a Lubavicther or some other nice person to check your mezuzas for free. Also check your tefillin. Good luck!
Please post your name so that we can daven for you. May you see yeshuos really quickly.
There was a tzaddik who suffered a run of very bad mazel until he had nothing but the clothes on his back. H
I am sure that it is easy to despair due to all your trials and tribulations. though try very hard to look at the good that has happened instead of focusing on the bad. We only see parts of the puzzle. We dont get to see the total picture. I pray things start to pick up for you and your family very soon!
He went to a frozen lake to toivel one erev shabbos through a hole in the ice and when he came up his clothes were gone, stolen. He laughed and started to dance, had he lost his mind? No, it occurred to him that this was the bottom and now that Hashem took everything the only way forward was up and kach hava. Hatzlacha and when you are back up there don’t forget how it felt at the bottom so you can empathize with yener.
Firstly, you are definitely in my Tefillos (and I’m sure many others as well). For practical stuff, I’m no rav, but two things come to mind.
One, did you ever consider doing the thing with lead to remove any possible ay”h.
Two, there is a wonderful organization called Daven for Me which matches people davening for a certain thing, based on “Kol Hamispalel be’ad chaveiro…”. It basically means saying a few Perakim of Tehillim a day for someone else. Its completely free and you can even do it anonymously. If you’re interested, they’re online.
Lots of Hatzlacha. Hang in there, IY”H it’ll be good.
Do not check your Tefillin. That is a bad idea unless you have some reason to think they might be Passul. You are allowed to rely on the Chazakah that your Tefillin are Kosher for you entire life. If you actually check and find out they are Passul then you are in trouble. Once again, your Tefillin are Halachically Kosher even if some time over the last 50 years the Klaf inside deteriorated. If you check and find out that they have, you will be Megaleh Lemafrea that your Tefillin have not been Kosher for who-knows-how-long.
I don’t know too much about it, but I think there are people who pour lead to remove a possible ay”h. I’ve seen an advertisement in Mishpacha with info of someone from Israel (they say they have haskamos).
I believe there is also a Tefilla (possibly from the Chida) that serves a similar purpose. Maybe someone else would know more about it.
(There is probably at least one more thread on it which I cant find now)
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