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This question i have comes to my mind every so often. It just came to me now when reading about Nachman Kletzky’s visit to E”Y.
When something newsworthy happens to someone, does that mean that for the rest of his/her life they will be known for that thing that happened? That he/she will be reported every time (or almost every time) they go out or do something? Cant they go on in peace? In this case, will Nachman Kletzky always be known as “the father of the boy who was killed”? Is it really newsworthy that he went to E”Y? I mean it is so thoughtful of him to go, but many people flew in to be menachem avel. It is an amazing bracha that he got from R’ Chaim, but many people got berachos from R’ Chaim!
Yes i know that klal yisrael is a caring nation and want to follow up and make sure the Kletzky’s are fine, and yes this bracha he got was oen that would give a boost to klal yisrael. But really, do we have to know everything? And this case is just an example.
Will the boys from Japan be known as ‘they boys from Japan’ forever? Will Moishele from Mumbai always be known for that horrible incident? Will the news always follow him? etc…
Excellent point. A politician makes a decision to go public and be reported on. Perhaps it is not right to be following someone who never made such a concious decision.
miritchka, I absolutely agree with you. I don’t think it is fair for anyone to be put in the spotlight and labeled as something that may cause them pain without their consent. It is the opposite of tznius. I feel very strongly that we shouldn’t give people a public identity that may cause pain. One should be very careful about this.
There is also an opportunity in “unintentional celebrity” to influence others for good and continue a Kiddush Hashem in many cases. For instance, I read the autobiography story of Mendel Bilus, written years after his trial and it was fascinating and inspiring. But I agree the individuals deserve privacy and our media should behave very differently than secular one.
It was a bitter and unforgettable tragedy, and he WILL always be known as “the father of Leiby z”l.” But he can somewhat be proud, proud to be a part of Klal Yisroel and knowing how much achdus that incident created. Until his future sons will be born & grow up and be Gedolim iy”h, only then he will be known as the father of the gedolim. Until then he is the “father of the boy who was killed”.
Thats the price to pay when in the media these days. Whether we make the concious effort to be in the limelight, or if it pounces on us out of nowhere, if it’s a big story, that’s who you ARE, FOREVER.
I side with miritchka.
to BaalHabooze:
maybe so, but is everything he does, A story to be reported?
last word.
I definitely hear what everyone is saying. However, we choose our involvement in a “story”. Another thread I didn’t even know who the person was that is being discussed (nor do I care to know). However, with the kletzkys we, all of klal yisroel, were heart broken, many people felt, and continue to feel, as if Leiby was their own. We see the same thing with Gilad Shalit as the family tries to balance normalcy and keeping the klal informed of progress. The media will be as savage as we want them to be. If we lack interest, the media will lack interest. It is just a matter of us (yes we are and must be responsible) choosing the proper “stories” to follow after and when to stop. As far as I know the media and individuals have given the requested time and space to both the Kletzkys and Shalits and I hope they will continue to do so.
Being labeled by an incident is another issue. But the reality is we are all labeled by what has happened to us or what we have done. For example Shlomo is Dovid’s son, or, he is the mechaber of xyz. To be labeled by a tragedy is unfortunate. But it happened, and now these two incredibly strong and inspirational families will continue, and they will acquire the status of people we can look up to because they weren’t destroyed by tragedy. We may think that the spotlight is on them, but really it is their light that can guide us.
I look forward to a day when klal yisroel knows no more tzarus.
miritchka and nitpicker:
I did not say he SHOULD be reported on everything. Aderabbah, he SHOULDN’T be reported ANYMORE, and the media should leave him be!
HOWEVER, what I was saying was wherever he GOES people in the STREET will view, perceive, and refer him as “the father of Leiby z”l” forever. Al Korchoch. When I or you see him in the street, what’s the first thing we think in our head? Be honest. right?
miritchka; It is unavoidable. Though I do think they should leave these people alone and let them be. Unless you can help in any way.
Don’t stare at these yidden in public, and don’t make them feel uncomfortable trying to make yourself feel good.
Baal Habooze, that’s true and Miritchka seems to agree to that, but figured that you didn’t get her main point, which you agreed to.
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