How to cope spiritually, emotionally, seeing a loved one suffer??

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  • October 23, 2011 7:10 pm at 7:10 pm #600110
    Stock Trader
    Participant

    What do you do when a loved one is suffering? (due to illness). After helping them physically & emotionally. How do you cope — emotionally, spiritually, with seeing your loved ones suffering??

    Acceptance? Thinking this is from Hashem, He has a reason why He wants them to suffer and we need to accept it?

    Any ideas pls? Would be greatly appreciated.

    October 23, 2011 8:46 pm at 8:46 pm #826740
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    what about never losing hope?… that Hashem created the whole entire world and He made the person sick and of course He can make the person recover, keep positive thoughts and pray. {thats what im doing} and i guess if they don’t recover, just know None of your tefillot went to waste and that Hashem know’s what’s best-like u sed.

    October 23, 2011 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #826741
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    Sorry you have to go through this, it’s definitely painful

    -There are support groups exactly for those you describe, some over the phone.

    -Make sure you have consistent downtime to refresh yourself

    -Remember that all this suffering in olam hazeh clears the way for a great spot in olam haba

    -Remember that much suffering in this world is easier than a moment of suffering in the next

    -Your energy is saved by accepting the situation as is rather than fighting it. Use your energy to help fight the illness.

    -It’s a madrega to reach that one blesses Hashem for the bad as well as the good

    -Remember to thank for your own health and for the myriad things that ARE going well

    -Hashem is WITH us in the pain (IMO anochi b’tzaar)and is holding your hand and giving you the strength to cope

    -Hashem always wants the best for us, somehow this is best for the neshama at this moment

    -Have soft music playing in the background if possible

    -Read Garden of Emunah or Garden of Gratitude

    Been there, done that, so I really feel for you in the situation.

    If you’d like to share the Heb. name, we can split the Tehillim.

    Hatzlacha, and keep up your strength!

    October 23, 2011 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #826742
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    thats great advice thanks for helping me too ayc:)

    October 23, 2011 11:59 pm at 11:59 pm #826743
    Stock Trader
    Participant

    I just cant bear to see them suffer 🙁

    Thanks so much AYC, gr8 advice, something to aim for. Wow were you able to keep that forefront whem you needed? And thanks also brotherofours,- yes if i believe Hashem yochol hakol, my tefillos will be more realistic, -I know Hashem can heal.

    October 24, 2011 1:59 am at 1:59 am #826744
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    wow glad to help, this thread is SO nice and useful.

    November 12, 2011 11:53 pm at 11:53 pm #826745
    am yisrael chai
    Participant

    How are you both doing, Stock Trader and brotherofurs, during this trying time?

    Our thoughts are with you.

    November 16, 2011 10:59 pm at 10:59 pm #826746
    Stock Trader
    Participant

    AYC you are too nice. Thanks a million. It is hard going. A couple weeks ago, as I walked into the elevator in the hospital with my unwell family member, I was accompanying them to go for a very scary procedure, I thought as you said: – Hashem wants the best for us. And this is the best thing for this neshomo at this moment. That literally gave me the physical strength to put one foot in front of the other to go to that dreaded medical procedure.

    Hashem loves us and this suffering will help the person get a better place in the next world is also often the only thing that keeps me going.

    Thanks for asking

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