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- This topic has 4 replies, 5 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 2 months ago by Nechomah.
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September 16, 2011 7:35 pm at 7:35 pm #599418workinonitMember
ok so im more of a reserved person, im not like super quiet or anything.. like im not the type if girl tht sits in the corner of the room tht doesnt talk, BH i have tons of friends and have been told i have a very cute personality, but to all u outgoing people out thr.. do u like more reserved ppl? i always get the feeling tht ppl dont like me as much cuz im more reserved and dont always have something to say or talk a bout, idk how to fix it, a lot of times i have trouble keeping up a convo and idk how to buid my social skills its rly hard 4 me! how do some ppl ALWAYS have something to say and just make ppl laugh effortlessly?
September 16, 2011 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #810277deiyezoogerMemberThose who spend most of their time listening are actualy smarter people. Remember noting you will say will teach you anything new!!
September 16, 2011 7:59 pm at 7:59 pm #810278am yisrael chaiParticipantWhen you become more comfortable with who you are and accept and love yourself as is, THAT’S when a happier vibe will come through and you’ll naturally respond in an even better way.
And people tend naturally to the happier people.
September 16, 2011 8:02 pm at 8:02 pm #810279shmoelMemberI’m the reserved/quiet type and I find that people respect my opinion, and even solicit it, much more than the outspoken ones who offer it unsolicited and without much thought.
September 17, 2011 9:42 pm at 9:42 pm #810280NechomahParticipantIf you have, as you said, “tons of friends”, I wouldn’t spend my time worrying about whether people like you more or less because you seem reserved. Like am yisrael chai said, it’s how you feel about yourself that counts. It’s not only a matter of feeling happy, it’s your self confidence and self esteem that matter. Don’t determine your self-worth based on how you feel others are thinking about you. Most often you will be wrong at your assessment of how they think of you, but you can’t always run around checking with everybody to see how they feel about you so that you can figure out how “good” you are.
In a way, it’s like Torah values. Since they come from Hashem, they are not subject to the whims and attitudes of the current society. Your self esteem should come from within, when you recognize your strengths and also even your weaknesses, gaining strength from working on those things you want to change, without this coming from external sources.
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