- This topic has 16 replies, 16 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 2 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
sometimes when i cry over day to day hardships or struggles i think to myself that there are people with much greater tzaros and nisyanos than me – how can i even be upset abt these things. Like so many people have sickness and deaths chas vishalom in thier family and here i am crying over day to day little things (however in a sense these not so major things to some people are pretty major to me!) should i feel guilty for crying and being upset over my nesyonos if people have thir life way worse??
2CUTE4U
Theres no reason to feel guilty for crying (unless you are being a cry baby for no reason). However if your life truly gives you a reason to cry then at least focus the tears to Hashem in the form of a Tefillah. Maybe take a Tehillim and cry over a Kapitel and have other Yidden who are suffering in mind.
No, you should not feel guilty.
The fact that others have it worse makes absolutely no difference to you. If it is hard for you, then it is. Telling yourself that your feelings are illegitimate because others have it worse is not healthy, or what Hashem wants.
No, you should have no reason to feel guilty for crying. Everyone is different, and everyone deals with things differently. One person’s hardships can be for another person just inconveniences, while one person’s inconveniences can be another’s hardships. People have different emotional breaking points. So there no reason to feel guilty about it. But, it could be a way to try and help yourself deal with your day to day hardships, by thinking that, thank G-d, you don’t have to deal with worse things. But if certain things for you are very difficult, even if for someone else they may not be, and you manage to get passed them and grow because of them, then you will have managed an incredible achievement. Wishing you all the best!
It isn’t good to cry out of a kind of sadness that is a complaint. BUT, it is defintely okay to cry from a broken heart, and a heart of YEARNING. Yearning and complaining are very different. Hashem doesn’t like complaining, but he listens to your heartfelt tears of longing and yearning.So if you are crying from a complaining point of view, channel it to yearning instead. Bring into your heart that Hashem only gives us what we can handle, no matter how hard it seems right now, its for your benefit and out of His love for you. I learned, Rav Gamliel Rabinovitch, in Sefer Tiv HaEmunah writes that Hashem feels our pain as much as we do. As painful as it is to us, it is to Him as well. It isn’t a good feeling. The difference is that with us, we gain from it somehow. We become stronger, our perspectives change, and hopefully we get closer to Hashem and the emes of life. Hashem gets no benefit. So we know there is some light after the darkness. There is light WITHIN your darkness because Hashem is IN that darkness. But with Hashem, He feels the pain, but has no benefit. Try to remember that. I know it is hard.
There is nothing wrong with crying. It can even be good for you sometimes.
What makes you think there is something wrong?
it is perfectly ok and a lot of times actually good to cry as actually, crying relieves stress thereby allowing you to have (at least somewhat of) a clearer head to take a clearer look at the situation allowing you a greater chance of properly dealing with the issue. in my book it is perfectly fine to have what others may perceive as little things bother you, so long as you don’t allow them to overwhelm you (well this is really with any issue regardless of size) and you at some point face the problem and work out a way to counter/take care of it
hope that helps
😀 Zuberman! 😀
It’s good to think that way if will cheer you up. That kind of thinking was never promulgated to make you cry about crying. Besides, how dare you feel guilty? There are people out there who do such terrible stuff!
2CUTE4U, I feel the same way. Not so much about the crying, but that other people go through so much, and who am I to complain? I feel really guilty, too. I’m really thankful to the other posters for making me realize that it’s okay for me to feel this way. Everyone suffers on different levels and we shouldn’t compare one to another. All we can do is daven, work on our emunah, and hopefully we can get through it.
I wish you the best!
yes. and then cry about your guilt.
If you are so often moved to tears and sadness over what you yourself describe as trifles, maybe you should seek professional advice. I am not being mean or sarcastic. There is a difference between being “sensitive” and being clinical depressed.
Whenever I cry for something insignificant and then realize that I’m being silly, I try and change those tears to be yearning and to get closer to Hashem. I just think about all the people that need things and I cry to Hashem. its hard to get yourself started to cry about things that we dont connect to like the golus that we are in but if you are crying anyhow and think about that its easier
one of my teachers once told me that if we feel like were crying for something we shouldn’t be you can ask Hashem to take your tears and add them to the tears of people crying for mashiach and in that way bring the geula closer
methinks-Hey I heard that too and i always do it when i cry!! LOl
whenever im having a nisayon i i say to myself im having this nisayon 2 take away my aveiros and their is so many thinks that are so much wors r”l so it makes me feel better…
2CUTE4ME;
As long as it is not for foolishness. Crying over not getting pizza for supper is a no – no.
I agree with WIY; If you find yourself crying, cry also for other
peoples Tzaros too. You will have no reason to feel guilty, as you also used your precious tears for another child of HB”H, Tzar.
Tears are very precious, try to use them as such! It will help you for generations to come.
meanwhile, smile 🙂 It’s just as precious, if not more.
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.