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whenever im around my parents all they do is talk lashon hara.. ive respectfully asked told them its not right but then they say “dont try acting all holy..” so idk what to do.. when we get in a car i usually just listen to music and w/e but its not such a healthy relationship so idk ..
Stuff a bar of soap in their mouth while they are sleeping.
Yours is a very common situation. As someone that experienced what you are currently experiencing, i would only mention it once to them which you did, and i see they told you “dont try acting holy” – but just go ahead and do that, and dont cut yourself off from your parents. Talk to them and communicate with them as you would if they were not speaking loshon horah. We have a commandment of Kibud Ov Ve’aim and its important you dont cut yourself away from them. I think if they see what a good person you are and are trying to be, they will respect you for that.
Try these:
Mrs.Ploni is such a gossip – “Mrs.Ploni is so nice to me and is always interested in what I’m doing”
Zone out – don’t pay attention, and if you’re called on, say, “sorry, I didn’t hear what you were saying”
Change the subject. Mr.Ploni leaves his yard and sidewalk so messy. – “Did you notice that it’s starting to rain outside?”
It’s not hopeless, if you are sincere and consistant they well grow to respect you, and change themselves.
The best idea i could suggest is to change the subject with some interesting news or comment or question directed at the speaker. Like… did you hear so and so had a boy? or where did you put my tennis racket. usually this changes the subject, but if the person is infected they usually will turn that topic within 1 min to another lashon hora comment.
The best thing to do at that point is to just leave the room, go wash your face, or get a tissue, or just go for a walk.
I cannot begin to tell you the S’char one gets for avoiding L”H
and the pain, suffering, and tragedies they spare themselves and the rest of Klal Yisroel. If there is anything important to focus on now it is just that. It will make a person more sensitive in general and protect them from doing other sins as well.
Hatzlocha Rabboh!
popa_bar_abba: LoL but then workinonit wouldnt be doing “honoring your parents”. But maybe you can argue you are helping them clean up. 🙂 🙂
Many people have learned two Halachos a day in Shmiras Halashon as a zchus for something. Maybe ask them if you can learn as a family for a zchus?
Hatzlacha!
workinonit
You get a lot of credit trying to do the right thing under difficult circumstances.
The posters above gave great ideas:
-change the subject
-be consistent
-ask them to refrain because it makes you uncomfortable (this shouldn’t sound “holier than thou” to them)
Hatzlacha raba!
Tune out.
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