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if u would have an option of dating some one who u know or someone that was suggested what would u do?
It would depend upon many other factors, such as the individual’s middos, etc.
Sometimes there is a plus about considering a shiduch with someone you know, you know first hand info about what to expect instead of what other people tell you.
i think i would rather date someone who didnt know me from before, i changed a LOT since i was younger… but it would be nice to have someone who knows both sides well for the info point that was mentioned…..
I think Chazal say you should marry your niece. Why? Because you were both raised the same way. You and your sister. And then she raised her kid the same way.
If I were redt to someone I knew, I would somehow feel the Abershter at work.
In the past I had turned away offers based on just knowing them.
It kind of makes no sense but is still common practice.
Just know there are reasons for this.
bein: What are the reasons?
1) When families are close or people know each other, like a friend of your sister and it might be good might not, since it can go either, if it goes sour especially if they are family friends, it might cause a major break in the ties. Offend them like she isn’t good enough etc..
I know a story of two guys best friends that their families were good friends too, redt his sister to his friend who knew her for years, they got engaged major simcha yay!
Then they broke the engagement, families at war w/ e/o no more friends. The two best friends, now don’t speak to each other.
2)If the person is picky it’s a safer bet to let down a stranger.
3)You ever heard the expression “too close for comfort.”
4)People like change, feel better when it’s someone new, unknown.
I don’t know why exactly, it’s just the way it is.
i said so; I’m not saying it is very wise, i’m saying there are reasons. Though what if ones Bashert is a family friend, why should they avoid who they know is nice and are sure about the family and happy w/ them.
I will say this though, If it’s not something special, and you don’t feel the personality is such a match or don’t find them attractive, then it is foolish to get into s/t that has a weak potential for success and big potential for fights or hurt feelings.
It really depends how well you know the boy from before or their family. I never dated anyone that I knew at all from my past but I have heard of some of they guys families before. I am from out of town and I like dating guys from the same city as me. Those are very easy first dates because you have lots in common to speak about.
i completly agree with am yisroel chai, if you know the person has good middos and seems like their someone that you are interested in why not go for it try it! there are obviously negatives and positives abt. the situation but i strongly believe that as long as you feel it may be a good shidduch try, it may be an advantage that you know them from before rather than meeting up with a random stranger hoping there perfect for you and and that you’ll hopefuly fall in love with them.!!!!DEFINATLTY GIVE IT A TRY,
HATZLACHA
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