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what do you do if for ex. a doctor puts out his hand to you and says “nice to meet u” – do u shake back?? do u explain?
..i think i just insulted some1 today and possibly made a chillul Hashem 🙁
It depends on two things. #1) Are you fe or male. #2) Is Doctor fe or male.
Seriously, there are courteous and refined manners to every situation. But one has to realize it’s a no-no, and find the right solution.
One does not make a chilul HaShem by listening to HaShem!
What do you do if a colleague especially bought you a cheeseburger and gives it to you and says “try it, its delicious, I went out and bought it for you”. Do you eat it?
It’s a kiddush Hashem to do the right thing — meaning not eat the cheeseburger or not touch/shake the opposite gender — rather than look or feel good about what you did.
“One does not make a chilul HaShem by listening to HaShem!”
Might anyone happen to know why it is muttar to return an aveida of a goy?
Bar Shattya
Probably because that’s what HaShem wants!
try responding in an enthusiastic “hello” so that the person will know that you are pleased to meet them and wont get insulted. and you can definitely explain that you do not make physical contact with the opposite gender – goyim can understand that as some very religeous ones refrain from doing so as well.
If this is a doctor you are dealing with, isn’t s/he going to be touching you anyway? I guess you might say that that is necesary but shaking hands is not but it does make it harder to explain.
If this is a doctor you are dealing with, isn’t s/he going to be touching you anyway?
I have had that experience. I used a female hand surgeon, and you think she’d say “Gee, I can’t touch your hand? How am I supposed to examine it?”
It’s happened to me…i just declined and explained that i couldn’t because my religion forbids it. they understood.
I was once sleeping in the hospital with a little boy and at 4 am the new doctors came around on the floor and woke me up. I sat up all disheveled only to find this random guy standing right at my bed. He stuck out his hand and before I had any time to think I just shook his hand. When I really woke up my father told me it was fine.
No No No! Since when do we shake hands with strange man? Did not the Purim Nes come about because Mordechai stood up for what is right and was the only one who would not bow down to Haman?
The Duke of Wellington came to visit our workplace. He stretched out his hand to shake mine. I explained that I was unable, for religious reasons. He accepted it. My boss came back to me in a rage how I could do such a thing. On Leaving the Duke asked why he had not been told that he was not supposed to shake our hands. He mentioned that he admired me!- Thank Goodness – My boss had to calm down!
bomb- good job! thats the best thing to say….
I smile and say “sorry, I don’t shake hands with men for religious reasons” and that seems to go over OK. Sometimes the guy will apologize and I’ll reassure him that he didn’t do anything wrong, I wouldn’t expect him to anticipate my religious practices.
What do you do if a colleague especially bought you a cheeseburger and gives it to you and says “try it, its delicious, I went out and bought it for you”. Do you eat it?
I actually had a non-frum colleague trying really hard to convince me to eat the fried squid. I was really happy they weren’t kosher. I don’t think I would want to eat anything that doesn’t have bones.
(Also, someone is going to say we are not supposed to be disgusted by treif. They should go desire to eat cockroaches and centipedes and report back.)
#1) Are you fe or male.
Iron?
Great move, Be Happy.
but sometimes it is rude and awkward!! i am faced with this situation all the time!
why did you remove my post?
Because it was rude, anti-Torah, against Halachah, and bordering on apikorsus.
Derech HaMelech
Who?
Rav Moshe Feinstein zt”l said, “…..there are some people who say that it’s okay to shake hands if the hand was extended to you first, reasoning that it’s not b’derech chiba; for practical purposes, however, it’s hard to rely on this.”
Rav Ovadiah Yosef had a very embarrassing story, in which his responsa sefer, Yabi’a Omer, won a government prize. Golda Meir, in front of thousands of live spectators, and broadcast on TV’s all over the country, offered her hand. He simply shook his head.
Ask your rav for his opinion.
ovktd: In his responsa, Rav Moshe agonized over this unacceptable practice of shaking a woman’s hand and repeatedly stated that it is forbidden and infringes on giluy arayos.
This has happened to me a couple times. Just smile and explain “I don’t shake hands with men for religious reasons but it’s nice to meet you”
ovktd: No, Rav Moshe was referring to a woman’s hand being extended to a man. He said it is strictly forbidden to accept for the aforementioned reason.
Igros Moshe OC I:113 and EH I:56
The Steipler writes in his letters in the name of the Chazon Ish that it is absolutely prohibited.
Regarding a so-called heter that you will embarass her if you don’t shake hands, it’s simple logic: If someone asked you to call them on Shabbos and you telling them sorry I can’t do that would embarrass them for asking, would you be mechalel shabbos to prevent their embarrassment? Or if someone offered you non-kosher food and refusing would embarrass them would you eat treif?
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