Why do we judge each other?

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  • #598342
    mommamia22
    Participant

    It makes me so sad to read some of the posts. We are such a fragmented community. I understand wanting to primarily be friends with people who are hashkafically similar to us, but choosing not to Daven with MO? Half my family is MO the other half chareidi from Lakewood and yerushalayim. I just don’t understand…….

    #792736

    some people look down at the MO as the “red headed step child”…it’s sad but true. The infighting seems at an all time high.

    #792737
    mommamia22
    Participant

    I think instead of posts trying to figure out how the two groups are different and never the twain shall meet, maybe we should look at what’s similar, try to learn Torah together and increase achdus amongst AM YISRAEL.

    #792738
    aries2756
    Participant

    It is the yetzer horah and people giving in to it. It is the feeling of “i’m better than them” rather than we are all yiddin. It has a lot to do with your heritage and how you were raised. I am second generation holocaust survivor and my mother always reminded us “when they came to round up the Jews they didn’t care if you were FFB, BT, Chasidish, Frei, bearded, not bearded, to them a Jew is a Jew is a Jew” unfortunately that is a lesson we have to learn from them. A Jew is a Jew is a Jew and we should never take that for granted. We are one big family and each one counts and each one is precious.

    #792739
    bombmaniac
    Participant

    because its so much fun…?

    #792740
    apushatayid
    Participant

    “Why do we judge each other?”

    Because it is easier than judging ourselves.

    #792741
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    I don’t know about this.

    Judging things is an essential part to having ideals and morals. If you are afraid to call something wrong, then how can you call something right.

    To give a funny example- consider this thread. You are criticizing those who judge. Aren’t you judging?

    I think we need to differentiate between judging ideas and judging people.

    So that, while I try to be understanding of people based on their individual struggles and backgrounds, that does not mean that I approve of the ideas they espouse.

    So I will judge ideas. I will judge groups based on the ideas they represent. And I think that means that I have the courage of my convictions to say that this is right and this is wrong.

    #792742

    Popa, great post! MO is a philosophy, therefore we can discuss if their philosophy is right or not, the same way they may discuss why their leaders felt chareidi philosophy is not applicable for today’s day and age. Of course we are not allowed to discuss particular people who believe in the traditional Chareidi ideology but don’t really actually practice it too well. If the MO community would disclaim their ideological beliefs, but would still practice the same behavior as they do, then nobody would have a right to cha”v criticize them on a public forum.

    #792743
    oomis
    Participant

    The problem is when someone doing the judging smugly believes ONLY he is right. In fact, he may be very wrong. And that cuts across the board, chareidi and non-chareidi alike.

    #792746
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    oomis

    Why do suggest something is a problem if there is another side to the argument?

    Isn’t it possible that this is not a problem?

    are you suggesting that only you are right?

    #792747
    minyan gal
    Member

    oomis is not suggesting that she is the only one that is right.

    She is saying that people judge others on where they daven, how they daven and which minchagim they follow – when in fact, everyone is a Jew, even with different customs. We all read the same Torah, celebrate the same Yomtovim and have the same forefathers. (oomis – I think that is what you meant – that is how I understood it).

    Aries – as usual, I agree with you completely.

    #792748
    mommamia22
    Participant

    Lomed mikol Adam,

    This isn’t a discussion about whether we believe with the hashkafa of MO, but rather why some would say it isn’t even ok to Daven in such a shul. I believe that many chareidim who feel that way would feel otherwise if they would find themselves in a MO community (ie: near a Sunday activity) and needing to Daven. Who would actually choose to Daven b’yechidus rather than join such a minyan?

    Your screen name is so nice… Now we just have to believe it and live it.

    #792749

    mommamia: Who claimed in the other thread that they wouldn’t daven in an MO shul? I would definitely daven in a MO shul if I spend Shabbos in the vicinity. I genuinely love all Jews. For me to daven on a permanent basis, I would look for a Shul in which most/many of the members are like minded as myself, so I would feel comfortable in my surroundings.

    #792750
    brotherofurs
    Participant

    I think instead of posts trying to figure out how the two groups are different and never the twain shall meet, maybe we should look at what’s similar, try to learn Torah together and increase achdus amongst AM YISRAEL.

    mommamia- definitaly! and i feel like we shouldnt make threads like “do u watch movies” because it points out people’s differences.. oh idk maybe that’s just all threads hmm..

    #792751
    mommamia22
    Participant

    The other writer was told he is wrong in two possible ways: 1) if he’s davening loud during shmonah esrei and 2) that he’s davening in a MO minyan. He wrote his thread b/c he was bothered by the fact that people were talking, and was told he doesn’t belong in a MO minyan (if I understood correctly). There is no shaichus in my opinion. People talk in yeshivish minyanim as well as MO ones. Instead of advising him to leave the minyan if people were disseminating ideas that are k’neged hatorah (which I would do), he was advised to leave after complaining people were talking.

    #792752
    Bar Shattya
    Member

    Like your favorite bar shattya always says- If you dont hate anyone, you dont stand for anything.

    #792753
    quark2
    Member

    mods is there a rule that you can’t post anything bad about YWN, like in communist russia?

    (posted something negative about this site, which is true, and would help people if they knew. But it was deleted by the mods! Even though it was true and helpful, just because it was something that the mods thought was negative about the site.)

    #792754

    Bar shattya: Its Assur to hate anyone. Hatred of people is evil, period. We must despise what the Torah describes as an essence of evil as the posuk in Tehilim says “Ohavei Hashem Sin’u Rah”, but we may never interpet the hatred in a practical way at a specific human being.

    #792755

    Its Assur to hate anyone. Hatred of people is evil, period.

    it is sometimes a Mitzvah to hate someone, period.

    #792756

    Mod 80: Please cite sources for your quoted ‘mitzvah’? Its a mitzvah to wipe out Amalek, but its not written in the Torah that its a mitzvah to hate them.

    #792757

    im not talking about amalek. its a Mitzvah to hate a rasha. there are other categories as well. im not a Talmid Chochum, i cant give you sources. perhaps some of our resident lombdim can help.

    #792758

    and its a Mitzvah not a “Mitzvah”

    its a very well known one to those who learn.

    #792759

    from Rav Moshe Leib Halberstadt:

    “There is a difference of opinions among the Rishonim regarding a Rasha whom it is permitted and a Mitzvah to hate, whether he should be hated totally. It was decided Lehalachah like the opinion that it is a Mitzvah to hate him totally.”

    but its well known and pushut.

    #792760

    Mod80: who is Rav Moshe Halberstadt? I need verses from the Torah or Talmud or Midrash; the Rishonim also have to be quoted with exact wording. The Gemara says its “Assur L’histakel Bifnei Rasha” since one can be spiritually harmed from this stare; however it doesn’t say that its a mitzvah or permitted to physically hate him.

    #792761
    popa_bar_abba
    Participant

    80:

    I’m not sure about that. I’ve always been told that we hate ????? ??? ??????. Sins but not sinners.

    #792762

    not sinners, a rasha.

    what is a rasha halachically?

    dont know

    im out of this conversation

    i dont know enough.

    carry on men

    #792763

    Mod80: I’m not well versed either. I just want to point out that the end of the possuk which popa qouted(“Yitamu Chataim Min Haaretz”)says “U’Rishaim Oid Einam”, so the posuk is discussing Rishaim.

    #792764

    hopefully someone will enter and clarify matters

    #792766
    winny1
    Participant

    we tend to judge each other because we have no right to. And people often do what they should not. So, lets all work on ourselves to be more accepting of one another.

    #792767
    apushatayid
    Participant

    What does the passuk in koheles “es lisno” refer to? There is a time to hate who or what? What does rashi say on the passuk?

    #792768
    quark2
    Member

    mommamia, many people here’s strange idea of “fun” is to write troll comments bashing people for whatever reason. You should not take those comments seriously.

    #792769
    mommamia22
    Participant

    80: Please tell me you are not referring to MO as reshaim? I am not MO, and don’t follow their kulos, but find it so unpalatable that orthodox people would be called reshaim. We all have a need to work on our Yiddishkeit.

    #792770
    WolfishMusings
    Participant

    its a Mitzvah to hate a rasha

    Ah, that explains why some people hate me.

    The Wolf

    #792771
    oomis
    Participant

    are you suggesting that only you are right? “

    Oh, please….We both know that is not true. And that is precisely my point. You made that judgment.

    Minyan Gal got it right.

    #792772
    shlishi
    Member

    It’s a mitzvah to hate apikorsum and mosrim after an attempt was made to have them do teshuva and they rejected the overture.

    #792774
    kapusta
    Participant

    I think you mean bashing, not judging. You’re completely right.

    I might hate some things you do, but that doesn’t mean I hate you.

    (you in a general sense)

    *kapusta*

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