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The Boys have to go out without the mother, and then at date 10, say “Ma, i hope you’ll be at the L’Chaim, this coming Tuesday”
IUseBrains – I agree with you. Just want to add a few words. “Boy” has to keep the same attitude toward his wedding and his future family expenses and pay for everything from his own packet. The truth is – he is a BOY (mommy’s boy), not a MAN.
I agree with both of you.
I haven’t the slightest idea why boys who wouldn’t let their mother pick their suit at the store would let their mother have anything to do with picking a spouse.
Stop being a boy, be a man.
IUseBrains-
It looks like you missed the reply I left you for in a different thread click =>>here<<= for that.
I disagree with you on your opinion- look at it from the guys side. When I was dating I was in yeshiva full time plus I had a part time job and was in college at night. I didn’t have time to research every name that a shadchan picked out of a hat. Additionaly, as you are well aware from being a shadchan, the references that the family provide are the friends who are going to say what the girl/ family want them to say.
My mother, on the other hand, worked half a day and was able to spend the whole afternoon on the phone with shadchanim (while cooking supper, folding laundry, running on the treadmill and doing other housework). My mother also had a larger network when it came to doing research (people that told the truth) as I had a couple of siblings in shidduchim at the same time.
Keep in mind that I was probably getting about ten names a week, and to me a name was just a … name. If there are so many names coming up- doesn’t it make sense to let my mother filter them out and pick from the list of the ones that she also approves of? Why should I bring a girl home that my mother doesn’t approve- would it be fair to the girl to start off her marriage and have a mother-in-law that doesn’t approve of her?
IUseBrains-
Who are you to decide what is an appropriate reason for someone else?
Mods, lets not redo the old thread. Both points were made. Starting a new thread about it with the same attitude is not going to change anything.
There are SOME shadchanim who do not “listen to understand”.
There are SOME parents who get in the way of their children’s shidduchim.
There are SOME boys who depend too much on what their mothers think and don’t stand up for themselves.
Then there are others.
aries2756-
Good point.
I was trying to get IUseBrains to at least acknowledge that there is a different point of view. For some reason he/ she keeps ignoring what I write.
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