shidduch list??!

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  • #597536
    613love
    Participant

    do mothers of the top boys rly have lists of the girls from bjj, bnos chava.. ect. and then choose the 1s that r the prettiest or have yichus and money? is this true or just a rumor??

    #778990

    Sounds like a rumor to me

    The sad thing is the truth is most likely alot worse.

    People have a vested interest in getting the “best” and not the “right fit”

    As long as the attitude is I want the best this or the best that then your going to have this self imposed crisis.

    Best advice I can give you is networking, I would tell you to just be yourself and unique but that doesnt go over well.

    Good luck!

    #778991
    bpt
    Participant

    Yes, its true. But relax, becuase the mothers who have “top boys” rarely do. So they are chasing an illusion to match up to their own illusion.

    You, on the other hand, sound real, so your chances (regardles of your $, yichus or looks) are as good as the next girl.

    Look at it this way: are you as qualified as your parents when they were dating? Chance are, (if you’re like my kids), your more qualified than your parents were. Yet despite their “hadicaps” they got married. What makes you think your chnaces are any worse?

    #778992
    tobg
    Member

    That’s basically true and if you want to test it just call one of those mother and offer her a nice girl.

    #778993
    RedNails19
    Participant

    True. I agree with that tobg.

    But you know what- THE UNIVERSAL TRUTH IS..no matter what “lists” boys have etc…it WILL NOT TAKE AWAY FROM UR DESTINED ZIVUG!!!

    HASHEM IS THE SHADCHAN- EVERYONE HAVE FAITH THAT HE’LL TAKE CARE OF YOU NOW, LIKE HE HAS YOUR ENTIRE LIFE!!

    …THATS WHAT I’M DOING!!:)

    ….CUZ HONESTLY, THERE IS NO OTHER WAY…:)

    #778994
    tobg
    Member

    RedNails19, you’ve nailed it!

    #778995
    RedNails19
    Participant

    ty tobg 🙂

    #778996
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    RedNails, that is a great attitude. I really don’t like the way a lot of people handle the dating process, be it having lists, or mothers having lists, or asking tons of questions that don’t matter, or stretching truths, or parents making decisions that the child should make, etc. Because ultimately, as you said, G-d is control. Yes, we should do our part, and be proactive about it, but seriously, people, just be sensible.

    #778997
    RedNails19
    Participant

    Middlepath- I REALLY like you attitide!!!:)

    you just my kind..lol

    #778998

    @middlepath,

    There’s no security in being sensible when being all sorts of extreme works like gangbusters.

    #778999
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    cleverjewishpun, That is all too true.

    RedNails, Perhaps I am. But then again, this is an online forum, so I could easily be an 80 year old woman pretending to be a 22 year old guy..

    #779000
    RedNails19
    Participant

    and i would care because??

    I might not know who u r, and i honest dont care if ur 2, 15, or 100 m/f..ur point was very much an attitude I appreciate!

    #779001
    MiddlePath
    Participant

    Ah, then forgive me for assuming something I should not have. I am happy you appreciate my point.

    #779002
    RedNails19
    Participant

    np np dw

    #779003
    yid.period
    Member

    I’ve been wondering…

    what makes somebody a “top boy?”

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