- This topic has 11 replies, 12 voices, and was last updated 13 years, 7 months ago by .
-
Posts
-
any such thing?????????? i really have a problem. i have no problem walking into a store, picking up like a million things to try on (i convince myself its just for fun), like half of them (or more), and i end up leaving the stores with mixed feelings of guilt and satisfaction. i find really nice things to wear (mostly on sale), and i love what i got, but i have these little pangs of guilt, the first few times i wear what i bought, but these pangs of guilt soon go away.
does anyone have this problem????????? i’m 20, i’m working, and i wanna lead a simple lifestyle b’ezrat HaShem. but how can i motivate myself to really try to work on myself? i don’t want to be like this. one tiny setback is that Baruch Hashem i am busy this yr and i don’t shop so often anymore. problem is, when i do go shopping, i go all out. HHHEEEEEEEELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!!
~{]*YC*[}~
If you are using credit cards or other borrowed money for this shopping, there is something called Debtors Anonymous. I know many frum Jews who have found recovery there.
I also love to shop and on every day off(basically) I can be found in various stores in BP and nearby stores. I also feel guilty getting certain sweaters or tops cuz I know that I don’t really need it but I feel good shopping so i usually end up only buying one or two.
I can relate to what your sayin cupcake – A good idea is to not use a credit card- cash only. It helps you budget and realize the value of your money. Also- as hard as it seems, when you find something great but your feeling those guilty pangs- leave it behind and wait a day before buying it. Its incredible how often after I get home I change my mind about needing it.. I always feel great when I realize I SAVED money.
Charlie,
do you know of some group that helps someone like this who is not in debt or using credit? Perhaps like the OP? I know someone who has lots of stuff & is disorganized.
aw come on yummy – it can’t be that bad 🙂
what does your family think or say about it?
i love to shop also but can’t afford it- then i feel guilty too.
as far as s2021’s suggestion about not buying it and then realizing that you don’t really need it. well, um, i’ve done that. i feel so good walking out of the store feeling that i overcame the desire to buy it! wow – what a gr8 feeling! but guess what!! i go back the very next day and BUY IT anyway. then my kids see me wearing it and say “hey i thought you weren’t going to get it” HEEEELP!!
Forget it YC, you’re hardwired to shop, especially for things you cannot possibly buy.
You’re 20
Your’e a female.
You’re flush with disposable income.
Don’t fight it; embrace it. Down the road, your husband can hang out with us in the parking lot.
Here’s a quote from R’ Avigdor Miller zt”l: (Not exatly on topic, but worth repeating)
When the sign on the store says come in and save, I stay out and save even more.
I heard of a guy who said he didn’t realize how badly his wife was hooked on the Home Shopping Network until he came home one day and saw a UPS 18-wheeler backed into his driveway!
1) Don’t carry plastic of any kind
2) Each month put aside a set amount of cash for clothing (put in in an envelope) and only spend that
3) Stay out of stores.
there is no magic bullet
Yummy: It may be difficult for you to understand this now, but when you are older it will make a lot of sense – I am old enough to be your grandmother and I still enjoy shopping and getting a “bargain”, but…..for about 99% of all the things that I have purchased throughout my life (particularly expensive items), it was far more fun “wanting” the item than actually “having” the item. Make a budget for yourself and stick to it. Even if you just cut out half of what you are spending on clothing and save the money, before you know it, you will be able to make some very good purchases at the bank – term deposits or bonds, etc. You may even have a different goal such as a great vacation. Whatever it is, one less sweater or pair of shoes won’t make any difference to your life, but the $100.00 that you save can grow for you.
I wish I could find enough things to have this issue…. Just joking but I love shopping but try to limit myself and not go to a mall every Sunday like I would love to. I have to get dressed everyday for work so that can be my excuse but I try very hard not to overshop! The guys are so lucky!!!!
- You must be logged in to reply to this topic.