Help Speaking To Grieving People

Too vague to answer. Why is the person no longer in his life?

Is the person a relative or a (former) friend?

adorable, we go through what we go through for a reason and we don’t always know why. People walk through our lives for a reason as well. We learn something from different people and from different relationships. Sometimes it is that we should NOT have had that relationship and we know better for the future but we still needed to go through it to learn that. We learn something from everyone we meet and every experience we have. So we should appreciate all the friendships and all the relationships we experience. And we also need to appreciate the hardships we go through when the relationships end because that too is a learning experience for the future.

Sometimes we gain understanding, compassion, patience, and other values from a relationship that wasn’t destined to last, but yet it did have meaning and was productive and purposeful while it lasted. So things happen for a reason and end for a reason. Hashem is in charge and he helps us through the good times and the bad, the ups and the downs and through all the bumps on the road.

Out of her life because they fought? out of her life because they were nifter? out of her life because she moved away? out of her life because they r sik or nifter? out of her life because she didnt get along nd now they are not on talking terms? If your going to post put some details so we can actually follow what your talkinb abt and giv u advice. tnx

adorable: I went through something similar to the situation you describe. Those weeks were sheer torture. I felt as if somebody has torn out a chamber of my heart. The healing process was painful and took a lot of emotional strength. What was most helpful to me, was a listening ear. No, you don’t have to fully understand what that person’s going through (if you do, then great). Try not to interrupt her when she unburdens to you. Just simply listen. Please don’t tell her she should stop thinking about him and move on. When anybody loses a close relative, the Torah tells us to sit shiva and discuss the niftar. Why don’t we just tell them to move on? Why do we dwell on the fact that they’re no longer here? Because it’s just impossible to “stop thinking” (as many “considerate” people advised me to do). We do think about them.

BUT, we also have to learn to move on. Gently, try pulling her back to reality. Take her out to eat, go shopping etc.

In my case, my friends were very anxious that I turn into my usual self and just go on with life. Thanks to that, my healing process didn’t take too long but was very, very painful. B”H, I’m now over with that (although there are still some fresh wounds and bruises).

She knows she’s done the right thing. Try giving her chizuk, share your thoughts on the matter(you can reiterate your point a million times – she wants to hear how harmful and dangerous it was), and just be there for her. That’s what mostly counts.

Hatzlacha Rabba.

be a good listener. (not always so easy). she might need to go over the same things of why she came to that decision. hatzlocha.