Home › Forums › Humor & Entertainment › Real Estate For Sale – Great Price
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May 4, 2011 10:24 pm at 10:24 pm #596666Shticky GuyParticipant
FOR SALE:
Luxury Spacious Home In Pakistan.
Great Location In Quiet Wealthy Neighborhood.
Reduced For Quick Sale Cos No TV, Phone Or Internet Service Available And No Helipads On Roof.
Very Secure – Next To Large Military Base.
Suits Long Term Or Invalid Occupancy.
Near Local Zoo – Was Once Invaded By Seals.
All Amenities Inside: You’ll Never Need To Go Outdoors
May 4, 2011 10:37 pm at 10:37 pm #768490am yisrael chaiParticipantFurther reduced as prior occupants had no time to clean up
Affordable cheap labor to help with that
Great business opportunity to timeshare for the famous who want to vacation under the radar
May 4, 2011 10:44 pm at 10:44 pm #768491am yisrael chaiParticipantIncludes great courier service and room service
Wireless interior, wired exterior
May 4, 2011 11:14 pm at 11:14 pm #768492LemonySnicketParticipantNot worth it. The garbage will pile up quickly cause are no Bins (hehe). :p
May 4, 2011 11:46 pm at 11:46 pm #768493Shticky GuyParticipantThe garbage will pile up quickly cause are no Bins
Quite the contrary. I heard the Bins were Laden with garbage.
May 5, 2011 12:08 am at 12:08 am #768494am yisrael chaiParticipantBuilding professionally Sealed
No bed bugs. Rats disposed of.
May 5, 2011 1:07 am at 1:07 am #768495zaidy78ParticipantTruthfully, it is probably a great investment now. One day it will probably be turned into a museum with a mosque.
May 5, 2011 3:10 am at 3:10 am #768496am yisrael chaiParticipantA piece of history
Inhabitants a mystery
May 5, 2011 7:37 am at 7:37 am #768497Shticky GuyParticipantZaidy78 (There’s no mod78 is there…??? Just wondering cos you pop up about once in two months…):
The whole Bin Laden episode is a tremendous source of embarrassment to the Pakistani authorities and the allegedly all-knowing pakistani secret service, the I-C-NO-I-DONT. Time will tell how much they really knew of Laden Garbage Bin’s hideout. If it turns out that they were completely unawares then there’s no way they will allow that building to remain standing cos it will be the proof and symbol of their largest booboo, and I’m sure they will demolish it.
So if you were looking for a retirement home, I’m sorry. Anyway, it has cameras sending images half way across the world, not to a cave in Torra Borra but to a white house in the DC area
May 5, 2011 8:48 am at 8:48 am #768498hanibParticipantlol
May 5, 2011 3:29 pm at 3:29 pm #768499smartcookieMemberThis thread made me smile today! You people actually have very creative descriptions!
May 5, 2011 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #768500adorableParticipantI was wondering where you think you are going to be telling us to move to….you are very cute i must say! thank you for the laugh
May 5, 2011 7:38 pm at 7:38 pm #768501600 Kilo BearMemberTaken. I already brokered it to the Neturei Karta. They want to open up something like a Chabad House for their Muslim brothers – it will be called Beis Chaval of Abbottabad.
May 5, 2011 11:11 pm at 11:11 pm #768502am yisrael chaiParticipantDeal fell through
They couldn’t get a mortgage
May 6, 2011 5:40 am at 5:40 am #768503Shticky GuyParticipantMortgage? Those things dont exist with these people. They move into new houses in one of 2 methods:
With a large bag of cash
or
With the help of an AK47
May 8, 2011 5:10 am at 5:10 am #768504am yisrael chaiParticipantDidn’t know NK had either of those
Btw, Shticky,this thread is really funny 🙂
May 8, 2011 7:23 pm at 7:23 pm #768505eclipseMemberIf previous owner returns,you must evacuate immediately.(He might,y’know!)
May 8, 2011 8:36 pm at 8:36 pm #768506BSDMemberHow did Osama pass the time in his house? No internet, no phone,no midnight strolls, NO CR! For how long can you play solitaire? 5 years?
May 8, 2011 8:47 pm at 8:47 pm #768507am yisrael chaiParticipantHopefully in the live position
May 8, 2011 8:58 pm at 8:58 pm #768508am yisrael chaiParticipant(my response was to eclipse; the mods are obviously inundated with all our posts)
May 8, 2011 9:06 pm at 9:06 pm #768509yaakov doeParticipantBSD – He had 5 wives with him
May 8, 2011 9:12 pm at 9:12 pm #768510BSDMemberEclipse and ayc- they are actually turning it into a museum. As we speak, there are deep sea divers scouring the ocean floor in order to recover his remains so that they can restore him to his home and keep it as authentic as possible. The cr will be posting visiting hours. Bring along nose plugs.
May 8, 2011 10:09 pm at 10:09 pm #768511eclipseMemberEwwwwwww!
May 8, 2011 11:07 pm at 11:07 pm #768512BSDMemberBSD – He had 5 wives with him
Whaaaat? 5 wives? For 5 years? Under one roof? I almost feel for the guy! How did he manage with 5 mothers-in-law????
May 8, 2011 11:14 pm at 11:14 pm #768513GumBallMemberShtickyGuy- I WANT THE HOUSE!!!!!
May 8, 2011 11:40 pm at 11:40 pm #768514eclipseMemberAre they taking single Moms with Sect.8?:)
(they probably divide THE TENANT into 8 SECTIONS)
May 9, 2011 2:01 am at 2:01 am #768515BSDMembereclipse lol!!!
May 9, 2011 6:39 pm at 6:39 pm #768517am yisrael chaiParticipantBuilding still for sale
All your needs will be met.
But you won’t.
May 9, 2011 7:18 pm at 7:18 pm #768518BSDMemberI may be interested. Just a few questions:
How far is minyan? Is it Ashkenaz or sfard?
What kind of shechita?
How are the neighbors? Are they tzniyusdik?
Do they have an eiruv? Or am I not supposed to ask?
Does their vaad not allow internet or was it just Osama’s frumkeit?
Will my kids be accepted into schools? Are they more chassidish or litvish? Do they speak Yiddish?
What kind of town is it? Is it like Monsey? Lakewood? Boro Park? Out of town?
Does Kova or Bencraft have a branch there?
Rita’s?
These midnight raids-are they a regular occurrence? I could sleep thru most things, but this sounds a bit much.
Do they have good courier service?
How do I get there? Are they still running those helicopter tours?
To which wife do I give the down payment? Do I give it to his son? Which one?
Is there anything else I need to know before I buy?
May 9, 2011 8:53 pm at 8:53 pm #768519BSDMemberAlso, can I volunteer for the chevrah kaddishah, or is that taken already by the SEALs?
May 9, 2011 10:23 pm at 10:23 pm #768520Shticky GuyParticipantJUST RELEASED! “OSAMA BIN LADEN”
COMING SOON TO A SHORE NEAR YOU!
May 12, 2011 10:22 am at 10:22 am #768521Ken ZaynMemberLOL to you all ? ? ?
May 12, 2011 2:53 pm at 2:53 pm #768522BSDMemberAny answers to my questions? I don’t like to go into things blindly.;)
May 13, 2011 5:45 pm at 5:45 pm #768523bptParticipantThanks for the revival AYC. Great puns!
May 13, 2011 6:03 pm at 6:03 pm #768524Shticky GuyParticipantAnd can someone please bump the “great real-estate” thread?
With pleasure. This was requested on another thread, a “best personal thread” thread. Yes, we’re very good at bumping. Bumping up, bumping off…
May 13, 2011 8:52 pm at 8:52 pm #768525am yisrael chaiParticipantbpt, glad you are enjoying Shtick’s thread along with many others!
May 13, 2011 8:57 pm at 8:57 pm #768526am yisrael chaiParticipantOk, BSD, I’ve spoken to the real estate agent & have some answers for you:
“How far is minyan?” Depends…a minyan of what?
“What kind of shechita?” As long as you keep out of sight, you have nothing to worry about.
“How are the neighbors?” You mean, “Who are the neighbors?” (Does that answer your question??
Ok, let some other agents respond to your other pressing queries.
May 13, 2011 9:35 pm at 9:35 pm #768527BSDMemberAYC- “Depends…a minyan of what?” Ma’aminim of course! The kind of people that are prepared to be moser nefesh.
“As long as you keep out of sight, you have nothing to worry about.”
Those were Osama’s last words…
I dunno maybe I’ll wait for another deal to come along. I’m still behind on payments for a bridge I bought.
May 15, 2011 2:07 am at 2:07 am #768528am yisrael chaiParticipantLOL, BSD!
BTW, did Shticky sell you that bridge by any chance?? 🙂
May 15, 2011 9:48 am at 9:48 am #768529Shticky GuyParticipantdid shticky sell you that bridge?
No I didnt sell it. It could have been a bridge too far. Too long to go into great detail, so you’ll have to do with this abridged answer.
can I volunteer for the chevrah kaddishah or is that taken already by the SEALs?
No no no! You got it all wrong. The SEALs dont work for the chevrah kaddishah, they only supply them with customers…
Ps Such a shame OBL died before achieving his stated aim of muslim control in all corners of the earth without learning that the earth is in fact round… 🙂
May 15, 2011 2:46 pm at 2:46 pm #768530☕ DaasYochid ☕ParticipantHow far is minyan? Is it Ashkenaz or sfard?
On site minyan, five times daily, nusach Wahhabi. Doesn’t face mizrach, though; the minhag is to face Qiblah.
May 15, 2011 5:29 pm at 5:29 pm #768531BSDMemberDY-LOL!
AYC-Shticky is an awesome agent. I paid a mare pittance for the bridge. I’ll make back all my money as soon as I get those toll booths set up…
May 15, 2011 6:37 pm at 6:37 pm #768532am yisrael chaiParticipantBSD- some people will have the chutzpa to bypass those toll booths by flying w/ Sealed helicoptors…
May 20, 2011 2:11 pm at 2:11 pm #768533Shticky GuyParticipantWith up to 9 wives holed up with him, OBL couldnt have been armed otherwise if would have shot himself…
And why are the al qaeeda guys upset? They have all now moved up their rankings.
Bin Laden has had the ultimate waterboarding experience. He went up to heaven where he was met by 72 vegans.
May 20, 2011 4:39 pm at 4:39 pm #768534BSDMemberWhen Osama got up there, George Washington, Thomas Jefferson etc. greeted him wielding batons and beating him. When he started yelling for his promised paradise they responded “here we are , your 72 Virginians”
May 20, 2011 5:54 pm at 5:54 pm #768535adorableParticipantsome people here can sell me anything and i would buy it from them…you are so convincing!
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